The Student Room Group

Review my creative writing piece for English Language?

Hi all,

The question was: Write a story titled 'Abandoned'
Please let me know what you think. I have no clue :biggrin: I know it's too much to write in my exam now.

As I lay curled up by the fireplace, I couldn't help but salivate at the thought of dinner. My owner, Marco, had been keeping a watchful eye on me, ensuring that I was safe and comfortable. The room was warm and cozy, and the flickering flames of the fire cast a familiar glow across the room. I could smell the delicious aromas of meat wafting towards me, making my stomach growl with hunger. The smoky scent of charcoal filled the air, and I could almost taste the juicy, tender meat on my tongue. The anticipation of dinner was almost too much to bear, and I couldn't wait for Marco to call me to the table.

“Polo” he called.

I entered the kitchen, greeted by a large bowl filled with my favourite savoury items - steak, kidney, and liver. Marco handed it to me and muttered in a low voice, almost sounding like he was crying. I chose to ignore it as I was too consumed by the delightful flavours of the blood vessels exploding in my mouth, heavenly tastes that engulfed all my senses. This was one of the best meals ever, but I wondered why we were celebrating. It wasn't my birthday, nor was it Christmas; there was no turkey or gravy. The unbearable thought that something terrible was about to happen rushed over me. My ears perked up, my nose twitched, and my heart raced as I braced myself.



CRASH! That’s when the first fierce and foreboding roar of thunder echoed down the street like an enraged beast, awaking me, sending shivers down my spine. Below me was a cold, wet, uneven surface - one that felt all too familiar. I was on the streets... Alone.



The intensity of the rain's sound grew, getting louder and heavier with each passing moment. It sounded like a drumbeat with a thousand tiny tip-taps tapping, reminding me of a scene from an apocalyptic movie that I once watched with Marco. The pitter-patter of the raindrops mimicked the rhythm of the tears dropping from my eyes. Suddenly, a piercing wind whistled through the rustling leaves of the trees, casting a ghostly shadow on the pavement behind me.

“GRRRR”

Nervously, I rotated my body, the rush of air hit my face and the scenery blurred for a moment. My attention was abruptly drawn to three large canines skulking in the shadows beneath the trees. Upon closer inspection, I discerned that the trio comprised of two sturdy white Pit Bulls and a colossal, obsidian Rottweiler, all of whom had a fierce and vigilant countenance.

Suddenly, the Rottweiler jolted forward toward me, immediately gripping my leg within his chomping jaws. Razor-sharp teeth pierce through to the deepest layers of my skin. When the frenzied hound finally decided to release me from his murderous grasp; a rush of ruby-red blood promptly flooded the streets, diluting slowly in the pools of rain.

I found myself lying motionless in a pool of crimson, my life's essence slowly seeping out of me. In that moment of pain and confusion, I couldn't help but wonder what had brought me to this point. Marco, my trusted companion, had always been my protector and confidant. Why would he abandon me here, alone and helpless, after all that we had been through together? The memories of how he had found me years ago, wounded and lost, came flooding back to me, adding to my bewilderment and despair.

Unsure if it was the last time, I let out a quiet howl as my eyes closed slowly...