The Student Room Group

Possessiveness

Hi, my girlfriend calls with a guy friend, and she calls him "just a friend" but she shares everything on weekly basis. I am not interested in art but She and her friend like art. I asked her sometime that what conversation you had with him but she never tells me and just say that is not necessary for you to know because we shared something of our common interests. I don't like this guy because he is a casual drinker and has many physical relationships with other girls. I have tried to convince my girlfriend not to contact him but she never listened to me? What should I do? Is that possessiveness and is that wrong because I love her but she's not understanding me?
Original post by Anonymous #1
Hi, my girlfriend calls with a guy friend, and she calls him "just a friend" but she shares everything on weekly basis. I am not interested in art but She and her friend like art. I asked her sometime that what conversation you had with him but she never tells me and just say that is not necessary for you to know because we shared something of our common interests. I don't like this guy because he is a casual drinker and has many physical relationships with other girls. I have tried to convince my girlfriend not to contact him but she never listened to me? What should I do? Is that possessiveness and is that wrong because I love her but she's not understanding me?


From what you said, I don’t think you’re wrong. I don’t think your girlfriend would cheat on you (from a girl’s perspective), but I wouldn’t trust the other guy. Also it’s something you’re clearly uncomfortable with and she’s not really giving you any relief. Maybe instead of telling her not to talk to him, try having a convo about how uncomfortable it makes you and explain your reasons. I like art too, so I don’t think them having an interest in that calls for secret convos
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous #2


From what you said, I don’t think you’re wrong. I don’t think your girlfriend would cheat on you (from a girl’s perspective), but I wouldn’t trust the other guy. Also it’s something you’re clearly uncomfortable with and she’s not really giving you any relief. Maybe instead of telling her not to talk to him, try having a convo about how uncomfortable it makes you and explain your reasons. I like art too, so I don’t think them having an interest in that calls for secret convos


Thank you someone felt the same for me! What can I do more than of the fact that she knows I love her and care her a lot? She said once that He was also a friend just like you and said that as you shared your things to me as he did. But I have never shared any intimate things rn because I want the relationship sacred till we got married. But that friend of her is an emotional rollercoaster and I think that he can drag her to any extent and you know girls' nature is also emotional so some girls can be trapped in sharing of her deep secrets to that kind of manipulators? What's your thoughts regarding this?
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous #1


Thank you someone felt the same for me! What can I do more than of the fact that she knows I love her and care her a lot? She said once that He was also a friend just like you and said that as you shared your things to me as he did. But I have never shared any intimate things rn because I want the relationship sacred till we got married. But that friend of her is an emotional rollercoaster and I think that he can drag her to any extent and you know girls' nature is also emotional so some girls can be trapped in sharing of her deep secrets to that kind of manipulators? What's your thoughts regarding this?


i don’t think she’s being manipulated but i’m not sure what her relationship is like with this guy. does she know about waiting for marriage? maybe explain to her that he makes you uncomfortable and you don’t mind their friendship, but you’d rather they tone it down a bit / you’re not the most fond of him and you don’t trust him. i feel she should understand.
Reply 4
But she's not understanding me as i have already told you that she even not share the convo which she had with him. What's this behavior? That's why I don't even want that she has him as a just friend. This is possessiveness i know but that's how I am in my relationship 😢 but who cares. Everyone thinks that possessiveness is wrong and just a psychic disorder and blah blah..so im thinking that all fault is mine .. But thanks you have given some insight..
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous #1
But she's not understanding me as i have already told you that she even not share the convo which she had with him. What's this behavior? That's why I don't even want that she has him as a just friend. This is possessiveness i know but that's how I am in my relationship 😢 but who cares. Everyone thinks that possessiveness is wrong and just a psychic disorder and blah blah..so im thinking that all fault is mine .. But thanks you have given some insight..


i don’t think she needs to share the conversation but i don’t see why she shouldn’t. i wouldn’t trust the guy :’)
Original post by Anonymous #1
But she's not understanding me as i have already told you that she even not share the convo which she had with him. What's this behavior? That's why I don't even want that she has him as a just friend. This is possessiveness i know but that's how I am in my relationship 😢 but who cares. Everyone thinks that possessiveness is wrong and just a psychic disorder and blah blah..so im thinking that all fault is mine .. But thanks you have given some insight..

I actually hate it when stuff like this happens
Like bro what’s there to hide abt art
It’s not like they’re planning to steal the Mona Lisa
Maybe become friends with that guy and start having private convos with him abt your common interests lol
Or tell her how u feel which is the boring way but it’s still effective
And if she gets mad and doesn’t tell u then it’s probably yeah something to worry abt
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous #3
I actually hate it when stuff like this happens
Like bro what’s there to hide abt art
It’s not like they’re planning to steal the Mona Lisa
Maybe become friends with that guy and start having private convos with him abt your common interests lol
Or tell her how u feel which is the boring way but it’s still effective
And if she gets mad and doesn’t tell u then it’s probably yeah something to worry abt

Thank you! But instead of all this, i don't know why am i feeling guilty of hurting her. I don't know why?
Original post by Anonymous #1
Original post by Anonymous #3
I actually hate it when stuff like this happens
Like bro what’s there to hide abt art
It’s not like they’re planning to steal the Mona Lisa
Maybe become friends with that guy and start having private convos with him abt your common interests lol
Or tell her how u feel which is the boring way but it’s still effective
And if she gets mad and doesn’t tell u then it’s probably yeah something to worry abt

Thank you! But instead of all this, i don't know why am i feeling guilty of hurting her. I don't know why?


You shouldn’t feel guilty man, honestly. She’s (unintentionally?) hurting you by treating you like this, and you deserve answers.

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