This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Driven out from my dream job
- is Leaf Courses legit?
- Student Finance Eligibility issue !!
- Online courses
- Can I get into LSE?
- Uni of Manchester Chinese accom
- Should I leave year 13?
- A nuclear attack may have started now.
- Rejecting Oceanic Catastrophe
- nuclear
- University of Glasgow 2nd year accommodation
- Gcse trying to get grade 7,8
- Chemistry textbook
- A level motivation struggle
- Considering 4 A Levels
- GCSE English literature
- Should I take more credits in autumn semester than spring?
- Should I take a gap year for mental health?
- About healthcare
- GSCE Cold war question help
On the brink of splitting up... Help!
Heya,
OK, I'm new to this forum but I'd just like to get my problems out and see what you think I should do, any advice would be amazing thanks
If you don't want all the details there's the basic problem in a few words at the bottom.
Right: I'm 16 and in year 12 at school, hoping to do medicine at uni when the time comes. So exam results and things are pretty important to me as I need AAB really to get into medicine. My boyfriend is 18 and in year 13 at a different school near to mine, and he's off to uni in Bristol next year.
We've been together 2 years during which time we've helped each other through a lot - we've both had exams, stress with families etc. that we've talked to each other about, and for the first year or so I loved him to bits. Our relationship seemed to fall into routine after the first year though, and I started having problems. I am really scared of being dependant on people, possibly rooted in the fact that my parents split when I was little..? But that's besides the point. I hate being ill as it means I have to be cared for, and I hate people feeling sorry for me. I feel as if I have to be the best all the time - not due to the pressures of other people, but myself. I've always come top in things since I was a little kid and I push myself to try and do the same now. I get frustrated with faults in other people, as I feel (and I know this is wrong) that it's their fault for not trying as hard to be perfect as I feel I am a lot of the time.
Around this time last year, things suddenly changed between me and him. I think the stress of GCSEs (which I took very, very seriously, in retrospect), the fact that he was getting ready for university, plus the fact that I was just maturing in general, led to a change in my personality. I went from the happy-go-lucky cheerful, never-stressed girl he started going out with, to a completely neurotic mess. I cried a lot and got stressed, and because I hated asking for help with stress (I still do), I wouldn't tell him things and just took it out on him instead.
He thought that although I was changeing and maturing, I was still in essence the same person he initially fell in love with, so stayed with me and supported me. Both of us thought that once GCSEs were over I'd stop being stressed and upset all the time. We were wrong. I got a job over the summer and was constantly frustrated that I couldn't have the freedom I wanted, as I worked 4 or 5 days a week. I also felt I was drifting away from my friends, and blamed that on the fact that for the first year of our relationship I spent all my time with him and his friends and not people from my school.
After the summer we both went back to school, and I continued to be stressed and angry a lot of the time. I often felt angry at him for no conscious reason either, just little things about his personality that annoyed me: the fact that he was always asking if I was ok, little jealousies about him being better than me in school, stupid things like that. But I began to think that it was because I was falling out of love with him, or was just bored with the routine of the relationship we found ourselves in. Especially as other guys were showing romantic interest in me and I couldn't do anything about it.
In December we almost split up, but I panicked and backed down. The same thing happened in January. I began to feel completely torn apart by the thoughts in my head that I was only staying with him cos I was afraid of being single after so long, and because I liked the security of a boyfriend, rather than because I actually loved him properly.
Don't get me wrong: it wasn't as if I hated him or anything. At times I felt so in love with him that I wanted to stay with him forever, spend hours gazing at him, doing nothing, lying there feeling his arms around me.. And he said he loved me too: he still does in fact. But the rest of the time (especially in the past few weeks) I've treated him like crap. Not shown any gratitude for the things he does, and got annoyed with him over little things like being ill (like I said earlier, it seems like weakness and that just annoys me).
So the other night he phoned me and said that he wanted me to be aware of how he was getting hurt by the way I was treating him. And the way the conversation went on, it just felt like we were going to break up. I knew I cared about him a lot, but it suddenly occured to me that maybe it was just friendly love rather than romantic love that I was feeling for him. We don't have sex as much any more since I tend to be stressed and tired a lot, which fits with the friendly love thing. So I said that night maybe we should go on a break and see what happens after a week apart.. but that I felt like I didn't really love him any more. He said he still loved me, but was willing to let me go if I felt it was better, and that he'd rather not be in a relationship if I wasn't in love with him any more.
So, here we are. 5 days into the break, and I keep spontaneously crying because I miss him and feel stupid for what I've done. I don't know how I feel any more: if I just miss the security of being in a relationship, or if I really really do love him.
It's going to be very hard if we do break up: we're both musicians so see each other out of school a lot for rehearsals and things. People have known us as couple for so long that it'd be so strange to break up. We're going to Reading Festival together this summer as well, which will be awkward. Also, I found out the other day that a friend of mine fancies me, which is very confusing.
My friends have advised me different things: One says I should move on as I'm only a teenager and should be experiencing new things while I'm young, and that I should get out of the relationship before I start resenting him. Others say I shouldn't throw away a relationship that can be patched up, especially as he still loves me, and we'll probably split up when he goes to Uni anyway meaning I have loads more time to experience new things before I go to university next year. I just don't know what to do. Any advice from your experience would be helpful please (and sorry for the incredibly long mother of a post!).
Summary:
Currently on a break with boyfriend of 2 years
He still loves me.. I don't know if I love him.
The unsureness could come from the fact that I just like him a lot as a friend, or because the stress of school is getting in the way of my feelings for him.
I don't want to split up just yet as it'd be hard, and probably pointless since we're probably going to break up in September/October anyway so we may as well enjoy the summer in each others' company.
But if we stay together I don't want it to be just a farce.
Should I stick it out or break up with him? It feels like I love him.. but I'm not sure if that's just desperation. Is there a way of telling? Help please!
OK, I'm new to this forum but I'd just like to get my problems out and see what you think I should do, any advice would be amazing thanks
If you don't want all the details there's the basic problem in a few words at the bottom.
Right: I'm 16 and in year 12 at school, hoping to do medicine at uni when the time comes. So exam results and things are pretty important to me as I need AAB really to get into medicine. My boyfriend is 18 and in year 13 at a different school near to mine, and he's off to uni in Bristol next year.
We've been together 2 years during which time we've helped each other through a lot - we've both had exams, stress with families etc. that we've talked to each other about, and for the first year or so I loved him to bits. Our relationship seemed to fall into routine after the first year though, and I started having problems. I am really scared of being dependant on people, possibly rooted in the fact that my parents split when I was little..? But that's besides the point. I hate being ill as it means I have to be cared for, and I hate people feeling sorry for me. I feel as if I have to be the best all the time - not due to the pressures of other people, but myself. I've always come top in things since I was a little kid and I push myself to try and do the same now. I get frustrated with faults in other people, as I feel (and I know this is wrong) that it's their fault for not trying as hard to be perfect as I feel I am a lot of the time.
Around this time last year, things suddenly changed between me and him. I think the stress of GCSEs (which I took very, very seriously, in retrospect), the fact that he was getting ready for university, plus the fact that I was just maturing in general, led to a change in my personality. I went from the happy-go-lucky cheerful, never-stressed girl he started going out with, to a completely neurotic mess. I cried a lot and got stressed, and because I hated asking for help with stress (I still do), I wouldn't tell him things and just took it out on him instead.
He thought that although I was changeing and maturing, I was still in essence the same person he initially fell in love with, so stayed with me and supported me. Both of us thought that once GCSEs were over I'd stop being stressed and upset all the time. We were wrong. I got a job over the summer and was constantly frustrated that I couldn't have the freedom I wanted, as I worked 4 or 5 days a week. I also felt I was drifting away from my friends, and blamed that on the fact that for the first year of our relationship I spent all my time with him and his friends and not people from my school.
After the summer we both went back to school, and I continued to be stressed and angry a lot of the time. I often felt angry at him for no conscious reason either, just little things about his personality that annoyed me: the fact that he was always asking if I was ok, little jealousies about him being better than me in school, stupid things like that. But I began to think that it was because I was falling out of love with him, or was just bored with the routine of the relationship we found ourselves in. Especially as other guys were showing romantic interest in me and I couldn't do anything about it.
In December we almost split up, but I panicked and backed down. The same thing happened in January. I began to feel completely torn apart by the thoughts in my head that I was only staying with him cos I was afraid of being single after so long, and because I liked the security of a boyfriend, rather than because I actually loved him properly.
Don't get me wrong: it wasn't as if I hated him or anything. At times I felt so in love with him that I wanted to stay with him forever, spend hours gazing at him, doing nothing, lying there feeling his arms around me.. And he said he loved me too: he still does in fact. But the rest of the time (especially in the past few weeks) I've treated him like crap. Not shown any gratitude for the things he does, and got annoyed with him over little things like being ill (like I said earlier, it seems like weakness and that just annoys me).
So the other night he phoned me and said that he wanted me to be aware of how he was getting hurt by the way I was treating him. And the way the conversation went on, it just felt like we were going to break up. I knew I cared about him a lot, but it suddenly occured to me that maybe it was just friendly love rather than romantic love that I was feeling for him. We don't have sex as much any more since I tend to be stressed and tired a lot, which fits with the friendly love thing. So I said that night maybe we should go on a break and see what happens after a week apart.. but that I felt like I didn't really love him any more. He said he still loved me, but was willing to let me go if I felt it was better, and that he'd rather not be in a relationship if I wasn't in love with him any more.
So, here we are. 5 days into the break, and I keep spontaneously crying because I miss him and feel stupid for what I've done. I don't know how I feel any more: if I just miss the security of being in a relationship, or if I really really do love him.
It's going to be very hard if we do break up: we're both musicians so see each other out of school a lot for rehearsals and things. People have known us as couple for so long that it'd be so strange to break up. We're going to Reading Festival together this summer as well, which will be awkward. Also, I found out the other day that a friend of mine fancies me, which is very confusing.
My friends have advised me different things: One says I should move on as I'm only a teenager and should be experiencing new things while I'm young, and that I should get out of the relationship before I start resenting him. Others say I shouldn't throw away a relationship that can be patched up, especially as he still loves me, and we'll probably split up when he goes to Uni anyway meaning I have loads more time to experience new things before I go to university next year. I just don't know what to do. Any advice from your experience would be helpful please (and sorry for the incredibly long mother of a post!).
Summary:
Currently on a break with boyfriend of 2 years
He still loves me.. I don't know if I love him.
The unsureness could come from the fact that I just like him a lot as a friend, or because the stress of school is getting in the way of my feelings for him.
I don't want to split up just yet as it'd be hard, and probably pointless since we're probably going to break up in September/October anyway so we may as well enjoy the summer in each others' company.
But if we stay together I don't want it to be just a farce.
Should I stick it out or break up with him? It feels like I love him.. but I'm not sure if that's just desperation. Is there a way of telling? Help please!
Um, is the relationship creating more sadness than happiness nowadays? I had this, and although I still felt strongly for my boyfriend, I needed to end it and get on with my life, have some freedom and look for happiness elsewhere. If he is going to university then it's most porbable you'll split up soon anyway, perhaps its the fact you been with him so long which is make you reluctant to let go? It sounds to me(and I know nothing) that you need time to be alone, calm down, focus and get on with your exams if you are worried about them. If it was me, I'd move on no matter how much it hurts, but you will know dep down whether that it right. Maybe write hima letter saying the reasons why you want to break up, that way it will balance out in your mind, you will know whether what you are writing is from the heart, or whether you have to find reasons not to be with him. Good luck.
If it was me, I'd move on no matter how much it hurts, but you will know dep down whether that it right. Maybe write hima letter saying the reasons why you want to break up, that way it will balance out in your mind, you will know whether what you are writing is from the heart, or whether you have to find reasons not to be with him. Good luck.
Hm, I can't really advise on the relationship part (what use am I then...) but it sounds like you're under a lot of stress at school and I know how that feels (I don't deal with it well either, nor do I like talking about my problems). But I would suggest that you talk to a freind/teacher/someone you trust just about the stress of it all - and ways to deal with it (you could start off by thinking about things you could change to take some of the pressure of yourself).
Remember, if you were getting emotional about your GCSEs, you will do about your AS levels too - and if you push yourself too hard, you'll end up burning out.
Maybe once some of the stress from school has eased up, you'll be able to think about whats best to do with your boyfriend? As for your friends advice, don't let someone push you in one dirrection - listen to what they say then make up your own mind
Good luck with it!
Remember, if you were getting emotional about your GCSEs, you will do about your AS levels too - and if you push yourself too hard, you'll end up burning out.
Maybe once some of the stress from school has eased up, you'll be able to think about whats best to do with your boyfriend? As for your friends advice, don't let someone push you in one dirrection - listen to what they say then make up your own mind
Good luck with it!
I think in a nutshell you are being SO hard on yourself! You're at an age where you are changing and maturing, you're also making some pretty big decisions about your whole life by way of exams and stuff. What you said about not wanting to depend on people may get you in some serious poo. It's not really about depending on people so mucha s having them in your life. What a friend's for etc etc... we all need people to share things with and it makes life all the more pleasant. the fact that oyu're scared of it suggests to me that you haven't got enough people in your life, maybe because you push them away. A friend of mine does this and is constantly screwed up and lonely. Ther;'s nothing wrong with needing people, it's perfectly natural, and whatever happens in life you tend to find a way to get over it.
This seems like the end of the world, but you have so much going for you. Work at reducing your stress levels, write schedules for school work so you can figure out how to get everything done, and then you can make sure you schedule in some proper relaxing times. Make more effort with people at your own school, but don't worry if nothing much comes of it. I really buckled down at school until I realsied that I could have a life too and I really put myself out there to make some decent friends and have some fun. Once you go to uni it will be a whole new world anyway, and probably easier without a long term boyfriend to worry about.
I can't tell you whether to split up with him as I don't know you, but remember that it has only been a few days, and if splitting up is the right thing to do then it is still going to hurt, and feel strange for a while. You rarely break up with someone and feel immediately fantastic, so bear with it. I personally think that having plans for the summer together and everyone thinking it would be weird to split up is enough grounds to stay with him. Take your time and write down your feelings as this really helps, even lists of why to stay and why to leave.
You've got your whole life ahead of you, A levels, parties, fun, uni, being a doctor, need I go on? Take one day at a time and try to learn to let people in.
Good luck
This seems like the end of the world, but you have so much going for you. Work at reducing your stress levels, write schedules for school work so you can figure out how to get everything done, and then you can make sure you schedule in some proper relaxing times. Make more effort with people at your own school, but don't worry if nothing much comes of it. I really buckled down at school until I realsied that I could have a life too and I really put myself out there to make some decent friends and have some fun. Once you go to uni it will be a whole new world anyway, and probably easier without a long term boyfriend to worry about.
I can't tell you whether to split up with him as I don't know you, but remember that it has only been a few days, and if splitting up is the right thing to do then it is still going to hurt, and feel strange for a while. You rarely break up with someone and feel immediately fantastic, so bear with it. I personally think that having plans for the summer together and everyone thinking it would be weird to split up is enough grounds to stay with him. Take your time and write down your feelings as this really helps, even lists of why to stay and why to leave.
You've got your whole life ahead of you, A levels, parties, fun, uni, being a doctor, need I go on? Take one day at a time and try to learn to let people in.
Good luck
nonono
Heya,
OK, I'm new to this forum but I'd just like to get my problems out and see what you think I should do, any advice would be amazing thanks
If you don't want all the details there's the basic problem in a few words at the bottom.
Right: I'm 16 and in year 12 at school, hoping to do medicine at uni when the time comes. So exam results and things are pretty important to me as I need AAB really to get into medicine. My boyfriend is 18 and in year 13 at a different school near to mine, and he's off to uni in Bristol next year.
We've been together 2 years during which time we've helped each other through a lot - we've both had exams, stress with families etc. that we've talked to each other about, and for the first year or so I loved him to bits. Our relationship seemed to fall into routine after the first year though, and I started having problems. I am really scared of being dependant on people, possibly rooted in the fact that my parents split when I was little..? But that's besides the point. I hate being ill as it means I have to be cared for, and I hate people feeling sorry for me. I feel as if I have to be the best all the time - not due to the pressures of other people, but myself. I've always come top in things since I was a little kid and I push myself to try and do the same now. I get frustrated with faults in other people, as I feel (and I know this is wrong) that it's their fault for not trying as hard to be perfect as I feel I am a lot of the time.
Around this time last year, things suddenly changed between me and him. I think the stress of GCSEs (which I took very, very seriously, in retrospect), the fact that he was getting ready for university, plus the fact that I was just maturing in general, led to a change in my personality. I went from the happy-go-lucky cheerful, never-stressed girl he started going out with, to a completely neurotic mess. I cried a lot and got stressed, and because I hated asking for help with stress (I still do), I wouldn't tell him things and just took it out on him instead.
He thought that although I was changeing and maturing, I was still in essence the same person he initially fell in love with, so stayed with me and supported me. Both of us thought that once GCSEs were over I'd stop being stressed and upset all the time. We were wrong. I got a job over the summer and was constantly frustrated that I couldn't have the freedom I wanted, as I worked 4 or 5 days a week. I also felt I was drifting away from my friends, and blamed that on the fact that for the first year of our relationship I spent all my time with him and his friends and not people from my school.
After the summer we both went back to school, and I continued to be stressed and angry a lot of the time. I often felt angry at him for no conscious reason either, just little things about his personality that annoyed me: the fact that he was always asking if I was ok, little jealousies about him being better than me in school, stupid things like that. But I began to think that it was because I was falling out of love with him, or was just bored with the routine of the relationship we found ourselves in. Especially as other guys were showing romantic interest in me and I couldn't do anything about it.
In December we almost split up, but I panicked and backed down. The same thing happened in January. I began to feel completely torn apart by the thoughts in my head that I was only staying with him cos I was afraid of being single after so long, and because I liked the security of a boyfriend, rather than because I actually loved him properly.
Don't get me wrong: it wasn't as if I hated him or anything. At times I felt so in love with him that I wanted to stay with him forever, spend hours gazing at him, doing nothing, lying there feeling his arms around me.. And he said he loved me too: he still does in fact. But the rest of the time (especially in the past few weeks) I've treated him like crap. Not shown any gratitude for the things he does, and got annoyed with him over little things like being ill (like I said earlier, it seems like weakness and that just annoys me).
So the other night he phoned me and said that he wanted me to be aware of how he was getting hurt by the way I was treating him. And the way the conversation went on, it just felt like we were going to break up. I knew I cared about him a lot, but it suddenly occured to me that maybe it was just friendly love rather than romantic love that I was feeling for him. We don't have sex as much any more since I tend to be stressed and tired a lot, which fits with the friendly love thing. So I said that night maybe we should go on a break and see what happens after a week apart.. but that I felt like I didn't really love him any more. He said he still loved me, but was willing to let me go if I felt it was better, and that he'd rather not be in a relationship if I wasn't in love with him any more.
So, here we are. 5 days into the break, and I keep spontaneously crying because I miss him and feel stupid for what I've done. I don't know how I feel any more: if I just miss the security of being in a relationship, or if I really really do love him.
It's going to be very hard if we do break up: we're both musicians so see each other out of school a lot for rehearsals and things. People have known us as couple for so long that it'd be so strange to break up. We're going to Reading Festival together this summer as well, which will be awkward. Also, I found out the other day that a friend of mine fancies me, which is very confusing.
My friends have advised me different things: One says I should move on as I'm only a teenager and should be experiencing new things while I'm young, and that I should get out of the relationship before I start resenting him. Others say I shouldn't throw away a relationship that can be patched up, especially as he still loves me, and we'll probably split up when he goes to Uni anyway meaning I have loads more time to experience new things before I go to university next year. I just don't know what to do. Any advice from your experience would be helpful please (and sorry for the incredibly long mother of a post!).
Summary:
Currently on a break with boyfriend of 2 years
He still loves me.. I don't know if I love him.
The unsureness could come from the fact that I just like him a lot as a friend, or because the stress of school is getting in the way of my feelings for him.
I don't want to split up just yet as it'd be hard, and probably pointless since we're probably going to break up in September/October anyway so we may as well enjoy the summer in each others' company.
But if we stay together I don't want it to be just a farce.
Should I stick it out or break up with him? It feels like I love him.. but I'm not sure if that's just desperation. Is there a way of telling? Help please!
OK, I'm new to this forum but I'd just like to get my problems out and see what you think I should do, any advice would be amazing thanks
If you don't want all the details there's the basic problem in a few words at the bottom.
Right: I'm 16 and in year 12 at school, hoping to do medicine at uni when the time comes. So exam results and things are pretty important to me as I need AAB really to get into medicine. My boyfriend is 18 and in year 13 at a different school near to mine, and he's off to uni in Bristol next year.
We've been together 2 years during which time we've helped each other through a lot - we've both had exams, stress with families etc. that we've talked to each other about, and for the first year or so I loved him to bits. Our relationship seemed to fall into routine after the first year though, and I started having problems. I am really scared of being dependant on people, possibly rooted in the fact that my parents split when I was little..? But that's besides the point. I hate being ill as it means I have to be cared for, and I hate people feeling sorry for me. I feel as if I have to be the best all the time - not due to the pressures of other people, but myself. I've always come top in things since I was a little kid and I push myself to try and do the same now. I get frustrated with faults in other people, as I feel (and I know this is wrong) that it's their fault for not trying as hard to be perfect as I feel I am a lot of the time.
Around this time last year, things suddenly changed between me and him. I think the stress of GCSEs (which I took very, very seriously, in retrospect), the fact that he was getting ready for university, plus the fact that I was just maturing in general, led to a change in my personality. I went from the happy-go-lucky cheerful, never-stressed girl he started going out with, to a completely neurotic mess. I cried a lot and got stressed, and because I hated asking for help with stress (I still do), I wouldn't tell him things and just took it out on him instead.
He thought that although I was changeing and maturing, I was still in essence the same person he initially fell in love with, so stayed with me and supported me. Both of us thought that once GCSEs were over I'd stop being stressed and upset all the time. We were wrong. I got a job over the summer and was constantly frustrated that I couldn't have the freedom I wanted, as I worked 4 or 5 days a week. I also felt I was drifting away from my friends, and blamed that on the fact that for the first year of our relationship I spent all my time with him and his friends and not people from my school.
After the summer we both went back to school, and I continued to be stressed and angry a lot of the time. I often felt angry at him for no conscious reason either, just little things about his personality that annoyed me: the fact that he was always asking if I was ok, little jealousies about him being better than me in school, stupid things like that. But I began to think that it was because I was falling out of love with him, or was just bored with the routine of the relationship we found ourselves in. Especially as other guys were showing romantic interest in me and I couldn't do anything about it.
In December we almost split up, but I panicked and backed down. The same thing happened in January. I began to feel completely torn apart by the thoughts in my head that I was only staying with him cos I was afraid of being single after so long, and because I liked the security of a boyfriend, rather than because I actually loved him properly.
Don't get me wrong: it wasn't as if I hated him or anything. At times I felt so in love with him that I wanted to stay with him forever, spend hours gazing at him, doing nothing, lying there feeling his arms around me.. And he said he loved me too: he still does in fact. But the rest of the time (especially in the past few weeks) I've treated him like crap. Not shown any gratitude for the things he does, and got annoyed with him over little things like being ill (like I said earlier, it seems like weakness and that just annoys me).
So the other night he phoned me and said that he wanted me to be aware of how he was getting hurt by the way I was treating him. And the way the conversation went on, it just felt like we were going to break up. I knew I cared about him a lot, but it suddenly occured to me that maybe it was just friendly love rather than romantic love that I was feeling for him. We don't have sex as much any more since I tend to be stressed and tired a lot, which fits with the friendly love thing. So I said that night maybe we should go on a break and see what happens after a week apart.. but that I felt like I didn't really love him any more. He said he still loved me, but was willing to let me go if I felt it was better, and that he'd rather not be in a relationship if I wasn't in love with him any more.
So, here we are. 5 days into the break, and I keep spontaneously crying because I miss him and feel stupid for what I've done. I don't know how I feel any more: if I just miss the security of being in a relationship, or if I really really do love him.
It's going to be very hard if we do break up: we're both musicians so see each other out of school a lot for rehearsals and things. People have known us as couple for so long that it'd be so strange to break up. We're going to Reading Festival together this summer as well, which will be awkward. Also, I found out the other day that a friend of mine fancies me, which is very confusing.
My friends have advised me different things: One says I should move on as I'm only a teenager and should be experiencing new things while I'm young, and that I should get out of the relationship before I start resenting him. Others say I shouldn't throw away a relationship that can be patched up, especially as he still loves me, and we'll probably split up when he goes to Uni anyway meaning I have loads more time to experience new things before I go to university next year. I just don't know what to do. Any advice from your experience would be helpful please (and sorry for the incredibly long mother of a post!).
Summary:
Currently on a break with boyfriend of 2 years
He still loves me.. I don't know if I love him.
The unsureness could come from the fact that I just like him a lot as a friend, or because the stress of school is getting in the way of my feelings for him.
I don't want to split up just yet as it'd be hard, and probably pointless since we're probably going to break up in September/October anyway so we may as well enjoy the summer in each others' company.
But if we stay together I don't want it to be just a farce.
Should I stick it out or break up with him? It feels like I love him.. but I'm not sure if that's just desperation. Is there a way of telling? Help please!
annabellewalter
Um, is the relationship creating more sadness than happiness nowadays?
Hmm.. I'd say we have more good times than bad times.. but more times of just feeling indifferent than any of those.. I think it might just be exhaustion.
I think I'm going to just spend some time with friends and have some fun with them - hopefully that'll de-stress me and next time I talk to him it'll be with an open mind. I feel really bad for messing him around like this though..
a lot of the stuff you mentioned about perfectionism, lack of sympathy during illness and anger at people for their faults, I can relate to. I also get VERY stressed a lot of the time, particulalry during exams and I have come to accept that that is just the way i am. Towards the end of year 12 I got a boyfriend (we waited till after the AS's cos I was freaking out as per!) and the summer was lovely, we had a great time but when we got back to school I went back to normal...totally stressed, terrified I wasnt doing enough work and angry at him for not trying hard enough in school. In the end I acted completely irrationally, a lot like u mentioned above, and we broke up. It was the right thing to do and I'm happier now (have a new boyfriend) and have learned to balance my time better. I still get stressed but new boyf knows when its best just to leave me to have some time for myself. Clearly you've been trying to make things work for a long time and it isnt. Its obviously going to be hard for you to get used to being without him after so long, but dont go back to him unless you are sure you love him for real. It seems that like me your education is your upmost priority and seen as you will be breaking up with him in september anyway, it would be silly to let him jeopardise your AS's (which will affect your a2) just for the sake of a few more months that you are not enjoying anyway. Work out what u cud do, if anything, to make you happy in the relationship most of the time, if you can't think of anything dont go back to him.
If the relationship is causing you so much stress and unhappiness thinking about trying to make it worse then my advice is to think about if you would be happier ending things and ending the relationship on good terms with this person instead of trying to keep going and causing a lot of hurt and upset possibly risking a very nasty break up. But then again think about it because if you think it is worth the possible pain then try and make it work. Spltting up is difficult and it does hurt but try and see that eventually you might be happy instead of trying to be happy by trying to make something work.
I don't think a week apart is enough to really know whether you want to be with him or not. Why not say you'll stay apart until after your exams are over? Then you'll know whether you want to be together or not, and you can have a wonderful, relatively stress-free summer together.
NONONO...ur name is a Destiny's Child and Wyclef Jean song that I used to sing all the time when i was 14....
hear u say no no no no no
when its really yes yes yes yes yes....doop dooopp..this is the remix..doop doopp..
ok that has absolutely nothing to do with the post but it was really long and im lazy....
hear u say no no no no no
when its really yes yes yes yes yes....doop dooopp..this is the remix..doop doopp..
ok that has absolutely nothing to do with the post but it was really long and im lazy....
jessicarabbit
NONONO...ur name is a Destiny's Child and Wyclef Jean song that I used to sing all the time when i was 14....
hear u say no no no no no
when its really yes yes yes yes yes....doop dooopp..this is the remix..doop doopp..
ok that has absolutely nothing to do with the post but it was really long and im lazy....
hear u say no no no no no
when its really yes yes yes yes yes....doop dooopp..this is the remix..doop doopp..
ok that has absolutely nothing to do with the post but it was really long and im lazy....
Heheh, fair enough
Related discussions
- Driven out from my dream job
- is Leaf Courses legit?
- Student Finance Eligibility issue !!
- Online courses
- Can I get into LSE?
- Uni of Manchester Chinese accom
- Should I leave year 13?
- A nuclear attack may have started now.
- Rejecting Oceanic Catastrophe
- nuclear
- University of Glasgow 2nd year accommodation
- Gcse trying to get grade 7,8
- Chemistry textbook
- A level motivation struggle
- Considering 4 A Levels
- GCSE English literature
- Should I take more credits in autumn semester than spring?
- Should I take a gap year for mental health?
- About healthcare
- GSCE Cold war question help
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
