The **** I went through at school is still ****ing me up

I dont know what to say, I was kind of hoping that somebody who does would have posted by now.

You're not alone though you know, every school has that one kid who everybody decides to **** on. I was the one in mine as well.

Are you getting help? If you are at uni it should be fairly easy to get an appointment with the unis mental health team, if not you will have to go to your gp...you will probably be on a fairly long waiting list though.

I'm really sorry to hear what you went through What's your situation now? Have you got friends now? College/uni?

Thanks.

They didn't get to ruin my life - I didn't kill myself (obviously) because I realised they didn't earn the satisfaction, and never having friends to do anything else with meant I got great exam results and am doing exactly what I want in a uni I love. I have friends here, I'm happy here.

My life now is good, that's what makes me feel like an ungrateful git for being so affected by this, because it's not still happening. But all the old problems are still there, just buried deep within and capable of erupting at odd times.

Does that sound really bad?

I wouldn't really know what to say, though... Like I say, it's been a good few years now, so it might feel strange talking about it again.

Then again, it's not like I've ever got over it - emotionally, it may as well have all happened yesterday.

May I ask (if you ever see this) how do you feel about it now?

Thanks.

They didn't get to ruin my life - I didn't kill myself (obviously) because I realised they didn't earn the satisfaction, and never having friends to do anything else with meant I got great exam results and am doing exactly what I want in a uni I love. I have friends here, I'm happy here.

My life now is good, that's what makes me feel like an ungrateful git for being so affected by this, because it's not still happening. But all the old problems are still there, just buried deep within and capable of erupting at odd times.

Does that sound really bad?

Your Stronger Than You Think Keep Your Head up Smile And Turn The Negative's into Positives

I'm really happy you've found happiness But at least you're happy now, there's a lot of people who aren't.

I defo think it's worth speaking to a Mental Health person at uni.. they will just be there to listen. But it will be nice for you to be able to get it all out, and get some sound advice.

You just need to get the right sort of help, if talking wouldnt be good for you something else will be . I guess the initial appointment would include finding the right think.

A lot of my problems with it dissapeared when I got my aspergers diagnosis. It explained most things. I still hate most of my old school 'friends' and I think alot of my teachers need stringing up, but the explanation means that I can keep it all seperate from my day to day life now. It builds a wall around it.

I guess I should go in there and sort it out so that I dont need the wall, but im going to wait untill I re enter uni in a couple of years as a mature student. Uni mental health teams seem so much better than community ones.

Even if you're happy now (which is great btw) it will only help you to sort out the problems you had in your past because even if they are buried deep they appear to be affecting you now - the best way for you to move past this might be for you to actually get some help since you never had before.

And it doesn't sound bad, it just sounds like you've gone through some stuff you never came to terms with.

I wish you all the best and i hope you manage to get over all of this

I went through a really dreadful time at school; I’ve since been diagnosed as being mildly autistic, but because my parents only believe in physical illness, I was never tested as a child in spite of being identified as a possible, and so never received help.

Due to this condition, I never really fit in with other kids … and kids aren’t stupid, they picked up on the many ways that I was different and bullied me mercilessly for them. Teachers bullied me too. I don’t really want to dwell on what they did, but it was physical and extreme emotional bullying – there were days of end when I didn’t go into school, I very seriously considered suicide at one time, that sort of thing.

I soon learnt telling people didn’t really help (I went to schools with ‘no bullying’ because they ignored any reports of it and didn’t keep any records) and I’m not a violent assertive person, so I took to just keeping it all inside of me. This carried on right up until I left school.

I’ve been trying very hard to get over it – just forget about it, it’s been a few years since I was in that dark, dark place … but every now and then, things come up and I realise how much it’s still affecting me. A few months ago, I received an invitation to a reunion; I think it was just to taunt me, I never want to return there again, they can’t believe I would. Today, I was looking at an old photo of myself – really young, before all this happened – and thought, “You look so happy, but I know what’s going to happen to you.” Made me feel sad about it all over again.

Because I was never really in an environment where I could discuss mental problems (for example, I could talk about a broken tooth I incurred; couldn’t say that they made me hide in the toilet crying), I never have dealt with it, just buried it deep within me and now it’s all coming out again … and I don’t know how to stop it, because I didn’t stop it then either, just I left school and the problem went away.

I don’t really know what I’m hoping to do by posting – get it off my chest maybe, find comfort in people that have been through the same thing, I don’t know. Anyone got anything to say, or suggest?

Thanks.

They didn't get to ruin my life - I didn't kill myself (obviously) because I realised they didn't earn the satisfaction, and never having friends to do anything else with meant I got great exam results and am doing exactly what I want in a uni I love. I have friends here, I'm happy here.

My life now is good, that's what makes me feel like an ungrateful git for being so affected by this, because it's not still happening. But all the old problems are still there, just buried deep within and capable of erupting at odd times.

Does that sound really bad?

GP's are amazing. They may suggest medication - I don't know, but if they do, medication is brilliant.

It's understandable, but you have a good life now. Don't let a bad memory put down all of this. The advice I would give to you is repress the memory, meaning bury it so deep that you wont remember it if someone asked you. You can do this by trying to take out the stuff that can make you remember it.

You had a pretty **** childhood. But seeing how your life is so good now, You cannot let your past ruin your present and future.

My first high school was hell. I left there halfway through Year 7, and it's taken me a long time to 'recover' from it (my confidence was practically zilch - I couldn't look people in the eye when they talked to me). However, things get better (or at least they did in my case). You forget over time, and those memories don't haunt you as much. If you're happy now, just carry on and they won't be such an issue. Why not talk to your current friends if it's bothering you? I'm sure they'll be able to help you somewhat, and often just telling someone can make you feel better.

My current friends think I'm relatively normal, I don't really want to bring this to their attention.

Thing is, it's not going away. I had buried them, but for some reason it's coming out again and I don't really want to push it away again - I've done that, and it's not really healthy.

Sorry your first high school was that bad.