I'll answer by paragraph (just to keep this clear)
I was watching on the TV and saw several replays, I honestly don't think it was a penalty. It his Kompany almost under his arm, or right on his shoulder anyway, as he was turning away from the ball. He did have his arm stuck right out (horizontally), and if it hit that it would have been a penalty, but it didn't. No pen imo.
I don't think they were playing Tevez to hit you on the counter. If they were, they would have played pacy wingers to actually counter-attack. Imo their plan was to hold the ball up with Tevez. He did do really well at this, at the pub I was watching at everyone was amazed, you guys just couldn't tackle him at times, he was just turning one way and the other, playing simple passes...he was amazing I thought.
You guys played good attacking football, but - maybe slightly controversial here - you didn't actually have that many clear cut chances. I don't think you had a single one-on-one, for example, and Hart didn't have to make many great saves. He saved one from RVP from outside the box, probably the only 'great' save he made. Right near the start one of your players was sliding in on goal and the ball went in front of him - close, but he didn't put it in. You hit the woodwork three times - two of them Hart had covered, the other he was well beaten, fair enough. But although Arsenal had lots of possession they didn't actually have many clear-cut good chances, imo - you'd have to look at the stats for that, but I don't count shots from outside the box really as good chances (unless it's RVP or someone, which Hart saved well), you didn't have any one-on-ones or anything...
You guys dominated the game at times, especially in the first 20 minutes, but City played well as well, and they executed their plan more effectively than you executed yours. It was a great game to watch as a neutral