The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

im a bloke - if i was ever to read the instructions the world would implode

And no didnt read the pop up stuff teehee

lol I think guys are more likely to read the manual than girls are though. how many times have I heard "Oh I don't know, you fix it" and the guys know how to fix it because a) they've made that same mistake before or b) they've read the manual

you had a great weekend Sazzy, thats the best thing - even if it is a long time until you see him again.

well its official.

i miss her so much i feel sick. Im reading over old facebook messages and desperately want to drop her a message but dont want to come across as needy or clingy (well too needy or clingy) or pathetic.

yep great example of manliness over here.

Dropping your girlfriend a message isn't going to come across as clingy or needy, that's what boyfriends are supposed to do If you were having to speak to her every minute of every day THAT would be clingy/needy.

I'm a regular poster but I'm embarrassed . Other half is on a last-minute away job this week in the middle of nowhere and has only one colleague allocated too, who is attractive and closer to his age and has had an interesting job before this. I'm still a student.

I have no reason at all to be doubtful apart from I haven't heard back from him yet today and he's probably just really busy but I can't bat away all these "worst-possible situation" thoughts...

Talk to him - let him allay your fears, just because shes attractive does not mean hes going to do anything. Hes with you and if he cares for you he wont do anything.

I think we all go there, we havent heard from them and we assume the worst. But its just our minds playing tricks on us.

Tell him how you feel, he should be quite understanding about it.

well its official.

i miss her so much i feel sick. Im reading over old facebook messages and desperately want to drop her a message but dont want to come across as needy or clingy (well too needy or clingy) or pathetic.

yep great example of manliness over here.

My girlfriend and I have started talking about the scenarios of what'll happen when we go to university in October...only been going out for two months now but we're very close already. It's so tough to think about, I can't imagine what'd happen with us apart for all that time. I should mention it's 2.5 hours on the train which isn't TOO bad. I assume we'll still stay together and try out an LDR but it hasn't been said explicitly, we kind of avoid that conversation a little.

I guess I'm looking for proof it can work.

Don't worry man, I was a mess when the girlfriend went off to uni that is over 5 hours away. As you mentioned in your post before, it's the bit where they turn the corner and go out of sight that hit the most, I felt sick to the stomach. So yeah, I didn't exactly grace myself with man points on that day but you'll get used to the difference of not seeing her everyday for a while and just keep on thinking how great it will be when you see her again

I've been chatting with this girl for a little while now and we've both made it very clear we like each other more than friends. However, she lives in Amsterdam, whereas I am in London. We haven't actually met, but she'll be in London for a week in June with her friends, we're hoping we can get together for atleast one day just the two of us, but that's still awhile away.

We haven't explicitly said that we like each other (though I feel this may be a good idea) and I kind of want to see what happens in June if we get a day together before doing anything. There is also the problem of hardly ever seeing each other. She wants to go to Uni here, specifically in London, which is great! She's 17 now and 18 next school year, so it'll be September 2013 before it happens (if it does). If we decide to be together after meeting in June (which is what I want) I can't see me going to Amsterdam to see her very often what with being on a student loan and not being able to find a job. Though I'm sure if I told my parents they'd be supportive, I wouldn't be able to borrow money as they are both retired now. I also can't see her coming to London that often either.

Really in a bit of a pickle here, cause I'm sure it would be hard on both of us, not being able to see each other atleast once every few months Any advice on this guys?

im in a similar boat dude, my girlfriend is in my home town in Eire and im in Birmingham so big distance and expensive to go back and forth. After March its going to be a good while before i see her again and i will be honest, its not easy - in fact its bloody horrible.

Smart phone apps like fring, skype, whatsapp are your friend. Use them to keep in contact as it will keep your bills low. Communication is key, your going to miss each other, get frustrated, worried, jealous, paranoid, upset and a whole host of things. But dont let them build up within you, talk to each other. Ok dont ring her up sobbing down the phone every five minutes cos youve had a scary thought but dont let doubts consume you especially as she will probably be having the same thoughts. You must talk with each other and in some ways reassure the other that you are still there

LDR's can work and people do do them but they are hard work. But it just means that when you are together for good it makes it so much sweeter as youve experianced what its like to not have them around.

Good luck

I've been chatting with this girl for a little while now and we've both made it very clear we like each other more than friends. However, she lives in Amsterdam, whereas I am in London. We haven't actually met, but she'll be in London for a week in June with her friends, we're hoping we can get together for atleast one day just the two of us, but that's still awhile away.

We haven't explicitly said that we like each other (though I feel this may be a good idea) and I kind of want to see what happens in June if we get a day together before doing anything. There is also the problem of hardly ever seeing each other. She wants to go to Uni here, specifically in London, which is great! She's 17 now and 18 next school year, so it'll be September 2013 before it happens (if it does). If we decide to be together after meeting in June (which is what I want) I can't see me going to Amsterdam to see her very often what with being on a student loan and not being able to find a job. Though I'm sure if I told my parents they'd be supportive, I wouldn't be able to borrow money as they are both retired now. I also can't see her coming to London that often either.

Really in a bit of a pickle here, cause I'm sure it would be hard on both of us, not being able to see each other atleast once every few months Any advice on this guys?

My boyfriend ended our long distance relationship of 9 months on Sunday night. He said the distance was too much for him and that we didn't see enough of one another. He said he'd fallen out of love with me as a result. He wants to stay friends and has text me yesterday and today (because its my birthday) but I dont feel like I can continue to talk to him. I have managed to go hours without texting back to the happ birthday message but caved and sent a reply.

I just miss him so much but I feel like I can never move on if we're still texting because it feels like nothing has changed even though everything has. He wasn't willing to make the LDR work and wasn't open to my suggestions. He's made it clear he doesnt want to get back together.

It just hurts so much. He dumped me exactly 4 weeks to the day i'd last said bye to him. His valentines card said that words couldnt describe how much he loves me but it all seems fake.

I've had to put cards in the boot of my car which sounds silly

Any tips on how to move on from someone?

I want to talk to him but then I feel like its not doing me any good. I feel terrible if I dont reply though.