Original post by Tom_FordYeah, for example, I have cut everyone out from my youth in my family apart from my parents. They did not want me to do well, they are competition, so why would I keep them around? Sure, there is help when there is mutual benefit, but it is all very surface level, very superficial. I just don't see why Asian people (particularly say, the Chinese, British upper/middle class) like to mentally masturbate over how well their kids are doing and keep their relatives/'friends' around purely for this reason... to nose in on each other's progress and compete. There is no real love there, no loyalty. There comes a point when you need to distance yourself from these people, like I did long ago at 17-18. Not completely burn the bridge but just really distance yourself.
The vast vast vast majority of people are not going to really be supportive or want the best for you. Unless they are going to give you material benefit (i.e. in the professional/financial capacity) then they do not need to be kept around.
These are all distractions. The less you try to prove yourself to others and the more you actually work as hard as you can on whatever it is you want to achieve, the better you will do in life. Whether you want to have a great fitness model body, get to senior roles in big corps etc etc... you have to be prepared to do the dirty work which people will sneer over. E.g. People who go to the gym to get great fitness model bodies take years and years of hard work with health food diets + dietary drinks like shakes which the average everyday man and woman would sneer at. Yet, what they achieve after years of their work can only be described as something to be respected as a physique version of art.
Same with a career, people may sneer at the office boy doing the trainee graduate photocopying... but a few years later he could be vice president or something like that.
The constant is, that people are a distraction and their views towards what you want to achieve are rarely benign. It goes as follows:
they are either competition, or they are your boss. So, in the professional environment, very very rarely do you have any real friends. They are all tools or roadblocks to your success. With this in mind, you do what you must within legal means. **** ethics, you do what you must to get ahead and this applies to the op too.
Overall, you have got to have a vision first though, not confuse yourself over where you wanted to go in life like I did, I chose my degree at 17 when i was a lot younger than now, 6 years ago, because of familial pressure on what seemed the most prestigious and until recently did not know what I really wanted to do with my career. You have to ask, what do YOU want to do?
Anecdotes to my approach? I have several. My cousin took the drastic measure of cutting off everyone who was a negative/non-useful voice for example and he became a partner of a Law firm called Eversheds. Mental masturbation is not useful, if people thought logically with a plan and refrained from seeking advice from unscrupulous strangers... they would get a lot farer. The answer is not rocket science, for a start if they used a search button they would get their answers.
Edit: funny story regarding my cousin. People did not even know what university he went to. Because, quite simply, he did not feel they needed to know. Same goes for his brother who did Economics at LSE. Very much a showoff degree to such families, but he never told anyone. No one even knew he lived in London. It is the way to go imo.