What's more important?

This is a contentious issue but, in my view, personality is what's more important (it's like a 65-35 split for me)

Personality is always more important to me, but it is also important to find your partner physically attractive. I find once I find their personality attractive that I will find them physically attractive all of a sudden (if I didn't already beforehand).Have you asked these people you've fallen for why they rejected you? It sounds terrible but sometimes there is such a thing as being too kind. You don't need to be a dick, but sometimes not being quite so friendly and helpful can be attractive (from a woman's perspective).

Personality is always more important to me, but it is also important to find your partner physically attractive. I find once I find their personality attractive that I will find them physically attractive all of a sudden (if I didn't already beforehand).

Have you asked these people you've fallen for why they rejected you? It sounds terrible but sometimes there is such a thing as being too kind. You don't need to be a dick, but sometimes not being quite so friendly and helpful can be attractive (from a woman's perspective).

Attraction is everything let's be honest. If they've got a good personality they're called a friend. Personally i'm not too picky, as long as you're pleasant to look at we're good game.

Have you asked these people you've fallen for why they rejected you? It sounds terrible but sometimes there is such a thing as being too kind. You don't need to be a dick, but sometimes not being quite so friendly and helpful can be attractive (from a woman's perspective).

I don't really get that. Being a dick is forgiven but being too kind is never overlooked?

I have done, many a time. Never with a straight response. One girl even told me she was lesbian, and the following season was dating some guy she met on the internet weeks after the friendship dissolved. He's 13 years older than her, which is weird O.O usually the 'friendzone' card is played.

I don't tend to be overly kind. I messge with people whenever they want to talk, and don't pester for a response. Could be a few days between talking with people. So it's not like I'm clingy. I'll gladly express my opinions on certain matters and make it explicitly clear where I stand in certain circumstances and am not afraid to challenge views which are outrageous or disgraceful. But i do often have really in depth conversations with them. So it's not like I'm boring or arrogant, either.

As @Cremated_Spatula said, kindness is always overlooked (and from own experiences, exploited) but being a dick is normally forgiven and relished. But how come? It would seem logical people would want someone who would treat them well as opposed to fighting with them or bullying them.

Well, kind of, I meant why is being weak or pathetically helpful/ kind seen as more of a bad trait than being a dick to someone?

But you have a good point, kindness is taken for granted mostly.

@Cremated_Spatula @Tinemither


I don't mean being kind, period. I mean being *too* kind. Going out of your way for someone, being a little too eager to help out and make them feel better/more comfortable/etc. It's lovely to find a kind guy, always, I'm just saying there is such a thing as going too far with it. I wouldn't say being a dick is forgiven or relished myself, I certainly don't feel that way anyway.

All I'm saying is girls like a bit of mystery at times and if you're too friendly or willing to go out of your way for a person then there is no mystery, you make yourself too available and some women don't find that an attractive quality. It really can't be helped.

Nice advice CS it seems like you may have had some bad experiences in the past

I didn't mean just being kind either.

Mystery to me says, remain more reserved when talking (poker face) and keep more to yourself, don't always tell the truth.
Doesn't seem like very attractive qualities to me, in fact it seems very boring, I'd just assume they hated me and move on.

Dickishness is pretty subjective :/

Not really remain more reserved, it's great when someone is honest and upfront about themselves and doesn't hold back (down to personal preference though of course), just don't give too much too soon. It's not something I'm very good at articulating, clearly, it's very hard to pick into words. We can't help what does or doesn't attract us, in the end.

Of course it is, as is attraction!