At what age would you start to get worried
if your other half hadn't proposed to you?
For those of you who are now in adulthood, when would you start getting a little...worried...? if your partner hadn't asked you to marry them? I've been with my other half 4.5 years, we've lived together 2.5 years and nothing. When I mention people getting engaged in my friends/family circle he changes the subject and, on occasion gets snappy. I know he's not a very committed person - hell I had to threaten to end things until he agreed we could move into our own space from our flat share.
It's not that I want to get married, I have no interest in married. But, at closer to 30 than 20 (and older for him, there's quite a large age gap with us) I would like to be engaged. 'Fiancée' sounds better than boyfriend when you've been together for so long. I know he has no interest in marriage but a little more commitment would be appreciated
Thoughts?
For those of you who are now in adulthood, when would you start getting a little...worried...? if your partner hadn't asked you to marry them? I've been with my other half 4.5 years, we've lived together 2.5 years and nothing. When I mention people getting engaged in my friends/family circle he changes the subject and, on occasion gets snappy. I know he's not a very committed person - hell I had to threaten to end things until he agreed we could move into our own space from our flat share.
It's not that I want to get married, I have no interest in married. But, at closer to 30 than 20 (and older for him, there's quite a large age gap with us) I would like to be engaged. 'Fiancée' sounds better than boyfriend when you've been together for so long. I know he has no interest in marriage but a little more commitment would be appreciated
Thoughts?
Edit: OP here, I meant more, after what time frame, as opposed to a specific age
I'm not sure what a bunch of student would have to say about it...
That being said, if you really want to get married (to him) maybe it's best you discussed it with him at length.
Because at the end of the day it's whether you are happy in the relationship or not.
That being said, lot's of people aren't really getting married these days, staying life partners and such...
And personally I would want to get married when I am ready...maybe ~35?
That being said, if you really want to get married (to him) maybe it's best you discussed it with him at length.
Because at the end of the day it's whether you are happy in the relationship or not.
That being said, lot's of people aren't really getting married these days, staying life partners and such...
And personally I would want to get married when I am ready...maybe ~35?
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
if your other half hadn't proposed to you?
For those of you who are now in adulthood, when would you start getting a little...worried...? if your partner hadn't asked you to marry them? I've been with my other half 4.5 years, we've lived together 2.5 years and nothing. When I mention people getting engaged in my friends/family circle he changes the subject and, on occasion gets snappy. I know he's not a very committed person - hell I had to threaten to end things until he agreed we could move into our own space from our flat share.
It's not that I want to get married, I have no interest in married. But, at closer to 30 than 20 (and older for him, there's quite a large age gap with us) I would like to be engaged. 'Fiancée' sounds better than boyfriend when you've been together for so long. I know he has no interest in marriage but a little more commitment would be appreciated
Thoughts?
For those of you who are now in adulthood, when would you start getting a little...worried...? if your partner hadn't asked you to marry them? I've been with my other half 4.5 years, we've lived together 2.5 years and nothing. When I mention people getting engaged in my friends/family circle he changes the subject and, on occasion gets snappy. I know he's not a very committed person - hell I had to threaten to end things until he agreed we could move into our own space from our flat share.
It's not that I want to get married, I have no interest in married. But, at closer to 30 than 20 (and older for him, there's quite a large age gap with us) I would like to be engaged. 'Fiancée' sounds better than boyfriend when you've been together for so long. I know he has no interest in marriage but a little more commitment would be appreciated
Thoughts?
never
i don't want a partner or children or marriage bc i think it's a waste of space time and money
too many standards for me to "live up to" and i don't care about pleasing other people on their ideas of what i should be like and what i should do when i'm older
Just to check - have you ever discussed marriage with him? It's possible he may not want it?
It's really hard to say a time frame. I think in general, the older you are the smaller the time frame generally is (more likely to know what you want, ticking clock etc).
I don't want to get married until late 20s at least, even if I stay with my current boyfriend (so we would have been together 8+ years by then). And I personally cant see the point in getting engaged if you're not gonna get married, but that's just my opinion.
It's really hard to say a time frame. I think in general, the older you are the smaller the time frame generally is (more likely to know what you want, ticking clock etc).
I don't want to get married until late 20s at least, even if I stay with my current boyfriend (so we would have been together 8+ years by then). And I personally cant see the point in getting engaged if you're not gonna get married, but that's just my opinion.
I can't really answer your questions since I don't do relationships and I'd never get married. However, as someone who relates more to him in this scenario, I'd suggest you try to understand his feelings on the matter.
Maybe he doesn't like being tied down, maybe he has certain beliefs or qualms about marriage, or maybe he's been pressured by family or peers to the point it's an automatic response to become irritated or resentful. Or maybe he does want to get married but can't afford a ring. I'm just throwing some ideas out but you know tonnes more about your partner and financial situation than I do.
Try something like "I know you don't like me bringing this up, and I'm not hinting or trying to pressure you, but I just want to know what you think about engagement / becoming engaged." Explain your side of the story if possible and wait for him to explain his.
Good luck.
Maybe he doesn't like being tied down, maybe he has certain beliefs or qualms about marriage, or maybe he's been pressured by family or peers to the point it's an automatic response to become irritated or resentful. Or maybe he does want to get married but can't afford a ring. I'm just throwing some ideas out but you know tonnes more about your partner and financial situation than I do.
Try something like "I know you don't like me bringing this up, and I'm not hinting or trying to pressure you, but I just want to know what you think about engagement / becoming engaged." Explain your side of the story if possible and wait for him to explain his.
Good luck.
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