Should I wear white to the funeral?

I'm sure your granddad really appreciates that you and your family seem to care more about clothes than the fact that he died

I'm sure your granddad really appreciates that you and your family seem to care more about clothes than the fact that he died

We don't obviously and I don't think I even portrayed it like that. That was a cruel comment

We don't obviously and I don't think I even portrayed it like that. That was a cruel comment

How was it cruel? It really does look like that.

When my grandad died, we didn't all have a fuss over what to wear - hell - my brother went in his normal clothes because my granddad would be writhing in his grave if he knew that people had spent hundreds of pounds on clothing, just to make a statement or compete with other parts of the family.

How was it cruel? It really does look like that.

When my grandad died, we didn't all have a fuss over what to wear - hell - my brother went in his normal clothes because my granddad would be writhing in his grave if he knew that people had spent hundreds of pounds on clothing, just to make a statement or compete with other parts of the family.

Well, shade. Black or White.

I'm not trying to upset you, I'm trying to make you see that there's far more important things and starting drama over the shade of clothing is a bit silly

My granddad recently passed on the 25th and on Friday, there will be a funeral. I say funeral but it's not really a typical funeral because my granddad's body is being repatriated and he won't be buried in England. There will be a service though to mourn him.

Anyway, dominate figures in my family have decided that the family will wear white and everyone else has to wear black. I honestly didn't like the idea when I first heard it but I went ahead and got some white clothes. They arrived today and I tried them on and I don't feel comfortable in the clothes. It felt wrong and it filled me great stress and anxiety having to wear the clothes. It's not even like it was my granddad's wish for us all to wear white or it being part of a religious tradition. They just want us to wear white.

I want to wear black because its more respectful and it symbolises mourning which is what we'll be doing. I also feel more comfortable in that colour too because I think its more suitable for the occasion but I'm worried about how my extended family will react to it.

Also part of me doesn't want to accept the control these dominate members of my family are invoking. They're the ones who want to repatriate his body rather than have it buried here in England where we can go visit the grave regularly. They want to send the body to this remote village in Sierra Leone where its so difficult to get to. You have to take several different modes of transport to get there. And no one in the family will visit the grave regularly because almost all the family live in England. I can't even go to the proper burial because my mum can't afford for us to go.

They're not even doing it for a good reason. They would never admit it but I know they're doing it for money and the land my granddad left behind that has gold, diamonds and oil. I felt so powerless during the whole arguments over the burial and I think part of me wants to wear black to regain a sense of power.

After weighing up everything, do you think I should wear black or white?

There is no one arguing over the colour.

I'm done with you. I don't why you're trying to make me feel horrible.