Coursemate listening in(?)
Hi,
My uni course involves quite a lot of personal meetings with my tutor. I find the meetings really useful as my tutor is lovely and has been especially helpful when I've been going through some hard times. The meeting slot is around 20 mins.
Problem is the person who has their meeting directly after mine. They turn up upside the meeting room 15 minutes early (I'm not exaggerating!!) And they do this every single time :/ They also have this annoying habit of opening the door and coming in to announce that they are waiting, even though I've not went over my allocated time!
I'm not very confrontational, and my tutor doesn't seem to react to the person doing this. Some of the things I speak about are highly personal and I feel uncomfortable that the person keeps doing this. I don't mean to sound rude or paranoid but I feel like she's listening in to what I'm saying
Should I tell my tutor? Or suck it up and deal with it?
My uni course involves quite a lot of personal meetings with my tutor. I find the meetings really useful as my tutor is lovely and has been especially helpful when I've been going through some hard times. The meeting slot is around 20 mins.
Problem is the person who has their meeting directly after mine. They turn up upside the meeting room 15 minutes early (I'm not exaggerating!!) And they do this every single time :/ They also have this annoying habit of opening the door and coming in to announce that they are waiting, even though I've not went over my allocated time!
I'm not very confrontational, and my tutor doesn't seem to react to the person doing this. Some of the things I speak about are highly personal and I feel uncomfortable that the person keeps doing this. I don't mean to sound rude or paranoid but I feel like she's listening in to what I'm saying
Should I tell my tutor? Or suck it up and deal with it?
Original post by Yasminah90
............
Explain to your tutor and ask if they are able to swap the two of you over so that you arrive second.
Hey, thanks for the replies!
I would confront her directly, but something about her puts me off. She likes talking about people and spreading gossip, but in front of the tutor she acts like a star pupil, who doesn't see through it. I'm worried that if I confront her she'll twist my words and make me the aggressor
I can't swap meeting times as it's during a lecture I have, and my tutor is big on attending class
I would confront her directly, but something about her puts me off. She likes talking about people and spreading gossip, but in front of the tutor she acts like a star pupil, who doesn't see through it. I'm worried that if I confront her she'll twist my words and make me the aggressor
I can't swap meeting times as it's during a lecture I have, and my tutor is big on attending class
Opening the door to announce their arrival is deffo intrusive when you’re in a personal meeting. Tell your tutor it bothers you next time they do it like “could you ask blahblah to not open the door like that when we’re in a meeting? It makes me uncomfortable” then hopefully they can deal with it. If they’re there early then they should stay in the waiting area like anyone not raised by wolves would do.
Original post by cat_mac
Opening the door to announce their arrival is deffo intrusive when you’re in a personal meeting. Tell your tutor it bothers you next time they do it like “could you ask blahblah to not open the door like that when we’re in a meeting? It makes me uncomfortable” then hopefully they can deal with it. If they’re there early then they should stay in the waiting area like anyone not raised by wolves would do.
Your last sentence made me laugh!! She really is like that though- there's just no need for her rudeness. She speaks so politely etc but when it comes to me she's always craning her neck trying to figure out what I'm talking about
I'll give your advice a shot- I'm just hoping the person won't go about telling other coursemates that I told her to f off or something completely inappropriate
Original post by Yasminah90
Your last sentence made me laugh!! She really is like that though- there's just no need for her rudeness. She speaks so politely etc but when it comes to me she's always craning her neck trying to figure out what I'm talking about
I'll give your advice a shot- I'm just hoping the person won't go about telling other coursemates that I told her to f off or something completely inappropriate
I'll give your advice a shot- I'm just hoping the person won't go about telling other coursemates that I told her to f off or something completely inappropriate
Actually tell her f off so therefore she can't twist her words
Original post by Yasminah90
Hi,
My uni course involves quite a lot of personal meetings with my tutor. I find the meetings really useful as my tutor is lovely and has been especially helpful when I've been going through some hard times. The meeting slot is around 20 mins.
Problem is the person who has their meeting directly after mine. They turn up upside the meeting room 15 minutes early (I'm not exaggerating!!) And they do this every single time :/ They also have this annoying habit of opening the door and coming in to announce that they are waiting, even though I've not went over my allocated time!
I'm not very confrontational, and my tutor doesn't seem to react to the person doing this. Some of the things I speak about are highly personal and I feel uncomfortable that the person keeps doing this. I don't mean to sound rude or paranoid but I feel like she's listening in to what I'm saying
Should I tell my tutor? Or suck it up and deal with it?
My uni course involves quite a lot of personal meetings with my tutor. I find the meetings really useful as my tutor is lovely and has been especially helpful when I've been going through some hard times. The meeting slot is around 20 mins.
Problem is the person who has their meeting directly after mine. They turn up upside the meeting room 15 minutes early (I'm not exaggerating!!) And they do this every single time :/ They also have this annoying habit of opening the door and coming in to announce that they are waiting, even though I've not went over my allocated time!
I'm not very confrontational, and my tutor doesn't seem to react to the person doing this. Some of the things I speak about are highly personal and I feel uncomfortable that the person keeps doing this. I don't mean to sound rude or paranoid but I feel like she's listening in to what I'm saying
Should I tell my tutor? Or suck it up and deal with it?
Charging in to 'announce' that you're waiting is just plain rude.
Tell your tutor that you're uncomfortable having someone charge in midway through your conversation and they'll sort it out I'm sure.
Original post by Yasminah90
Hi,
My uni course involves quite a lot of personal meetings with my tutor. I find the meetings really useful as my tutor is lovely and has been especially helpful when I've been going through some hard times. The meeting slot is around 20 mins.
Problem is the person who has their meeting directly after mine. They turn up upside the meeting room 15 minutes early (I'm not exaggerating!!) And they do this every single time :/ They also have this annoying habit of opening the door and coming in to announce that they are waiting, even though I've not went over my allocated time!
I'm not very confrontational, and my tutor doesn't seem to react to the person doing this. Some of the things I speak about are highly personal and I feel uncomfortable that the person keeps doing this. I don't mean to sound rude or paranoid but I feel like she's listening in to what I'm saying
Should I tell my tutor? Or suck it up and deal with it?
My uni course involves quite a lot of personal meetings with my tutor. I find the meetings really useful as my tutor is lovely and has been especially helpful when I've been going through some hard times. The meeting slot is around 20 mins.
Problem is the person who has their meeting directly after mine. They turn up upside the meeting room 15 minutes early (I'm not exaggerating!!) And they do this every single time :/ They also have this annoying habit of opening the door and coming in to announce that they are waiting, even though I've not went over my allocated time!
I'm not very confrontational, and my tutor doesn't seem to react to the person doing this. Some of the things I speak about are highly personal and I feel uncomfortable that the person keeps doing this. I don't mean to sound rude or paranoid but I feel like she's listening in to what I'm saying
Should I tell my tutor? Or suck it up and deal with it?
I've heard of tutors asking students who are outside to knock on the door to announce their presence so she knows that there are people waiting, but never would they just come in without invitation.
It is really difficult to judge whether people can hear you through a door, so maybe you could arrive early for your appointment one day and see if you can hear the previous person/your tutor talking inside? That might put your mind at rest.
If I were you, I'd definitely say something to the tutor though, and then she'll probably go and ask the girl if she can wait elsewhere under some pretence ("standing there means you're blocking the corridor/that seating is needed for someone else in a minute" etc.).
Hey guys, thanks for the replies- glad I’m not the only one finding this weird!
I think the biggest barrier that stopped me speaking out was my tutor’s lack of response- she didn’t look like she had a problem with it, so I thought I would look paranoid if I spoke out.
There’s a little waiting room like a minute’s way from the tutor’s room, so I usually sit there and wait for my turn. Once the coursemate before me was going over his time, so I went a bit closer to the door just to see if they were finishing up. I didn’t even have to be right next to the door (where the girl stands) to hear pretty much everything that was being said indoors!
I think the problem also lies with her behaviour when I leave the room. It’s always this look of impatience and barging past me to get in. I’ve no idea why she’s like this :/ I think if my tutor doesn’t do something I’m in serious danger of giving her a piece of my mind
I think the biggest barrier that stopped me speaking out was my tutor’s lack of response- she didn’t look like she had a problem with it, so I thought I would look paranoid if I spoke out.
There’s a little waiting room like a minute’s way from the tutor’s room, so I usually sit there and wait for my turn. Once the coursemate before me was going over his time, so I went a bit closer to the door just to see if they were finishing up. I didn’t even have to be right next to the door (where the girl stands) to hear pretty much everything that was being said indoors!
I think the problem also lies with her behaviour when I leave the room. It’s always this look of impatience and barging past me to get in. I’ve no idea why she’s like this :/ I think if my tutor doesn’t do something I’m in serious danger of giving her a piece of my mind
Original post by Yasminah90
Hey guys, thanks for the replies- glad I’m not the only one finding this weird!
I think the biggest barrier that stopped me speaking out was my tutor’s lack of response- she didn’t look like she had a problem with it, so I thought I would look paranoid if I spoke out.
There’s a little waiting room like a minute’s way from the tutor’s room, so I usually sit there and wait for my turn. Once the coursemate before me was going over his time, so I went a bit closer to the door just to see if they were finishing up. I didn’t even have to be right next to the door (where the girl stands) to hear pretty much everything that was being said indoors!
I think the problem also lies with her behaviour when I leave the room. It’s always this look of impatience and barging past me to get in. I’ve no idea why she’s like this :/ I think if my tutor doesn’t do something I’m in serious danger of giving her a piece of my mind
I think the biggest barrier that stopped me speaking out was my tutor’s lack of response- she didn’t look like she had a problem with it, so I thought I would look paranoid if I spoke out.
There’s a little waiting room like a minute’s way from the tutor’s room, so I usually sit there and wait for my turn. Once the coursemate before me was going over his time, so I went a bit closer to the door just to see if they were finishing up. I didn’t even have to be right next to the door (where the girl stands) to hear pretty much everything that was being said indoors!
I think the problem also lies with her behaviour when I leave the room. It’s always this look of impatience and barging past me to get in. I’ve no idea why she’s like this :/ I think if my tutor doesn’t do something I’m in serious danger of giving her a piece of my mind
Doesn't matter if your tutor doesn't have a problem with it. If a tutee is uncomfortable in speaking about XYZ Topic because some busybody is barging in 'announcing' their presence then it's up to the tutor to sort it out!
If your tutor is unwilling to fix this, speak to the Senior Tutor about it and I'm sure they'll send an e-mail out.
Original post by Blue_Cow
Doesn't matter if your tutor doesn't have a problem with it. If a tutee is uncomfortable in speaking about XYZ Topic because some busybody is barging in 'announcing' their presence then it's up to the tutor to sort it out!
If your tutor is unwilling to fix this, speak to the Senior Tutor about it and I'm sure they'll send an e-mail out.
If your tutor is unwilling to fix this, speak to the Senior Tutor about it and I'm sure they'll send an e-mail out.
Thanks for the advice- I never thought about that. Hopefully it won't come to that but it's good to know
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