The Student Room Group

My priorities are in the wrong places. Can I get a sense of direction?

ONLY ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE OR STORIES.

so I feel like my priorities are in the wrong place.
I’m 22, I don’t have my lisence but I know how to drive. Passing theory has been so difficult I’ve tried probably 6 times. ( I have money for the car in savings)

I’ve changed my course 3 times because it was too hard and difficult for me.I’m thinking to start a course in September and hopefully get my degree with no stops

I travel a lot and I like expensive things. I’ve been away last 4 years like 8 times ( I could only afford it because SFE and my inheritance money )

I don’t have anything left really. I stopped working when covid happened so I didn’t work for 2 years. Then I picked up couple shifts this year. I’m doing like 5 more shifts this month but then I feel like I’m not worth £80 a shift?

I have no more inheritance money left because I blowed it. I have £2k in my account.


Can I get some advice please. Why am I so discouraged and why are my priorities to travel and spend money on luxury things.
Regarding the theory, try again but this time harder. Book it 3 weeks in advance then dedicate that 3 weeks to studying.

You do seem to want things without working for it which is funny knowing how you’re on the verge of losing all your luxury privileges. I also grew up not having to work but you have to realise it’s your future you’re building now. The more money you like to spend, the harder you have to work.

£400 a month probably ain’t gonna be anything to you because of your spending habits. It’s taken you 5 long shifts to only make that little money is discouraging knowing you’ve had money you never had to work for before. Stop being lazy (an advice for me too!!) and remember that life is acc hard and nothing comes easy
(edited 1 year ago)
You’re technically in the right direction. You have a plan to get your theory and pass your driving, start university and find a permanent job. I believe you can do these things if you alternate your perspective just a little x
It sounds like you know what you have to do to you just don't want to put in the effort.
First off, you need to significantly cut down your spending. Try going one week only spending money on groceries - absolutely nothing else (other than bills and essential public transport, obviously). This should be absolutely no more than £30, but try to keep it under £20 if you can.
Also this mentality of "I'm not worth £80" is so spoilt and privelaged. Why should you be paid more for what you're currently doing? Especially as this is shift work and you were unemployed for 2 years, there is no reason why you should be paid more than co-workers your age. Unless you are bringing a lot of experience, useful special skills and management, you don't deserve more.
You're feeling so discouraged because you've failed to demonstrate any sort of will power or self discipline. It sounds like you only do what makes you happy in the moment and as soon as something like a degree course gets hard you quit. You can overcome this but promising yourself you will stick to your next commitment no matter what. You will be uncomfortable but you'll be fine if you push through.
I wouldn't make this next big commitment uni though. Don't start a course without having a plan as to what it will help you to achieve. I'd suggest finding a full time job that will take you with your current qualifications and experience (yes even if it's stacking shelves) and commit to that for a certain period of time. During that time, you can think about what you want to do next.
As for the theory test, why have you failed 3 times? Have you not prepared for it? Did you give up halfway through every time? Think back to what went wrong and use that to prepare better. There are loads of free or cheap apps that teach you the content.
It sounds like you have lived a very comfortable, privelaged life supplied by other people's hard work and you aren't accustomed to doing the work yourself. I say all of this with no mean intent, but the world doesn't owe you anything. You don't deserve to travel or have expensive things or be paid more just for being you. But the good thing is that in this country and in your current living situation you can work to afford those luxuries with some discipline and hard work.
All the best for your future :smile:
Original post by Jennifer303

I’ve changed my course 3 times because it was too hard and difficult for me.I’m thinking to start a course in September and hopefully get my degree with no stops


Was this within one uni year or more? If the latter, you're unlikely to receive full student finance for another degree.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by normaw
Was this within one uni year or more? If the latter, you're unlikely to receive student finance for another degree.

So I wouldn’t be able to get full student finance only maintenance loan.
Original post by Jennifer303
So I wouldn’t be able to get full student finance only maintenance loan.


Some details of what happens to the tuition fee loan here:

https://www.ucas.com/finance/student-finance-england/going-back-uni-or-repeating-year

https://www.gov.uk/student-finance/who-qualifies#youve-studied-before

I'm not sure about the maintenance loan - try posting a question to SFE directly in the following forum:

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?f=910
I'd suggest you go read the many replies you got all the other times you asked this.
Original post by Jennifer303
ONLY ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE OR STORIES.

so I feel like my priorities are in the wrong place.
I’m 22, I don’t have my lisence but I know how to drive. Passing theory has been so difficult I’ve tried probably 6 times. ( I have money for the car in savings)

I’ve changed my course 3 times because it was too hard and difficult for me.I’m thinking to start a course in September and hopefully get my degree with no stops

I travel a lot and I like expensive things. I’ve been away last 4 years like 8 times ( I could only afford it because SFE and my inheritance money )

I don’t have anything left really. I stopped working when covid happened so I didn’t work for 2 years. Then I picked up couple shifts this year. I’m doing like 5 more shifts this month but then I feel like I’m not worth £80 a shift?

I have no more inheritance money left because I blowed it. I have £2k in my account.


Can I get some advice please. Why am I so discouraged and why are my priorities to travel and spend money on luxury things.


Well all your problems are really a mentality thing, kind of living a very frivolous cest la vie lifestyle. We’ve all been there but ultimately you need goals of what you want out of life personally & professionally (what probably should have been an a long summer has become your permanent lifestyle, probably because you have been enabled by the inheritance, if you had put the money away in savings you probably wouldn’t have allowed this as you would have valued it more).

ultimately it comes from personal responsibility.

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