An indian and an white girl

I think with Indian families it varies so much from family to family. Many are open-minded an liberal. My parents ENCOURAGE me to go out with white girls, but I've found they've never given me the time of day (whereas I've always had plenty of attention from indian girls). They are even letting my sister go out with a Muslim. Plenty of my indian friends have similiar parents with modern outlooks, but some are as restrictive as you get.

Unfortunately I happened to fall in love with a girl from one of these families. She's 18, yet her parents won't even permit her to have a boyfriend. This isn't even a race issue - we are both Indian, Hindu and event the same branch of hinduism. They just don't want her to have a boyfriend. So she has to hide it from her parents, and when they find out she has to pretend she's broken up with me. How parents can find it in them not to want their children to be happy, and not to allow them freedom over their lives when they are adults, beggars belief.

im not too sure, they always said they'd give my boyfriend a chance if he was muslim, but i dont think they agree with how some muslim men treat woman and i no i would never convert to any other religion and they feel this might cause problems with me fitting in.I think they're a bit scared that that would give my grandparents a heartattack (they are very traditional) aswell lol

Mum: "Just as long as you're happy"

Dad: "anything but muslim"


I don't particularily 'go' for any single race/culture/religion but do find myself more attracted to indian girls

with regards to how some muslim men treat women, I have come to find it's a massive misconception

y not muslim?-y everything else but not muslim, it baffles me?!?

I no what you mean because i hate stereotypes and putting everyone into the same boat. Its all about different people and different circumstances.

Well, I'm from a very traditional Gujurati Hindu family, who claim that I must marry a Patel, who must be a Hindu, from a certain *part* of Gujurat - so I reckon a lot of the Indian people here are pretty lucky from what I've read!

I accept that they won't ever accept a non-Indian/Muslim person into their family, so I have to be pretty guarded about not falling in love with someone like that (is that even possible, lol?!). Nevertheless I'm stuck a bit here, I wouldn't personally mind dating a white guy, for example - but I have very traditional parents (they are also much older than normal - 55, and I'm 18) And I love my parents and am really close - don't really want to hurt them, but I suppose if it entails my long-term happiness...

Problem is that I'm about half-coconut, hence a bit stuck!. Music-wise, while I love Indian Bollywood music, I also like the rock/indie scene (never really an "Indian" thing), while I love good indian films, I'm fussy about a lot of the crap Bollywood churns out, love Indian weddings etc/wearing Indian clothes - but somehow I still find I'm not on the same wavelength as other indian people. Not to mention I'm doing a philosophy degree - not apparently adequately "intellectual" or "cash-churning" for most Indians in my society, unfortunately.... (they'd prefer I'd do Law, Medicine or Dentistry...). Most people related to me obviously view me from a contemptuous point of view, and think I'm a coconut...

I personally do really want to marry an Indian guy (as mentioned above I have a high regard for my culture and don't really want to break away from it), but then I'm really going to struggle if I marry a normal trad. Indian, since I have liberal views. Also, a lot of the Indians brought up within a culture like that are either total conformers, or total rebels....

Ahhh I'm so confused! ....

y not muslim?-y everything else but not muslim, it baffles me?!?

My Dad is 55 and an arse hole basically.

I totally understand...its a tough predicament. But then you got to make the choice. But i disagree with u on the culture bit. I think u can find a brit and raise ur kids in the culture u want to ....i'm sure the guy will want the same too! provided u find the perfect guy.

Well I'd rather not make the choice. And as for the culture bit - we can disagree, it's not about raising kids in the culture I want to, although that's admittedly an issue. How many non-Indian men would permit or tolerate me bringing up them to speak Gujurati, be practising Hindus etc? And I've seen mixed race children within our society who have never been truly accepted just on the basis of their colour... That would be a difficult issue. Another thing about finding a Brit; you have to sort of initiate them into the culture, and there is the hassle of that. There's some things that are just self-evident to an Indian man that just isn't to a non-Indian.