An indian and an white girl Watch

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goldstandard
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#141
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I think with Indian families it varies so much from family to family. Many are open-minded an liberal. My parents ENCOURAGE me to go out with white girls, but I've found they've never given me the time of day (whereas I've always had plenty of attention from indian girls). They are even letting my sister go out with a Muslim. Plenty of my indian friends have similiar parents with modern outlooks, but some are as restrictive as you get.

Unfortunately I happened to fall in love with a girl from one of these families. She's 18, yet her parents won't even permit her to have a boyfriend. This isn't even a race issue - we are both Indian, Hindu and event the same branch of hinduism. They just don't want her to have a boyfriend. So she has to hide it from her parents, and when they find out she has to pretend she's broken up with me. How parents can find it in them not to want their children to be happy, and not to allow them freedom over their lives when they are adults, beggars belief.
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KizD
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#142
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Mum: "Just as long as you're happy"

Dad: "anything but muslim"


I don't particularily 'go' for any single race/culture/religion but do find myself more attracted to indian girls :love:
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shoppingqueenbe
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#143
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a mixed race relationship will only work if you dont care what people think - that is because the people that have teh issue with it are the ones in teh wrong - i know it is hard when it is family but if he is upfront and tells them you meet them and they dont like you then that is there problem - you have to decide then wheter you feel comfortable carrying on a relationship with this guy, until then dont worry about what they might think as they might not care at all -
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Policingman
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#144
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im in a multi cultural relationship.. and its great..

just the same as being with anyone.. we dont even call it a "multi cultural" thing, cuz we loved up and its just a relationship!!!!

It doesnt mattee where people come from, just ensure you are sensitive to their past and possible family traditions!

Cr
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r_raghav11
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#145
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#145
(Original post by goldstandard)
I think with Indian families it varies so much from family to family. Many are open-minded an liberal. My parents ENCOURAGE me to go out with white girls, but I've found they've never given me the time of day (whereas I've always had plenty of attention from indian girls). They are even letting my sister go out with a Muslim. Plenty of my indian friends have similiar parents with modern outlooks, but some are as restrictive as you get.

Unfortunately I happened to fall in love with a girl from one of these families. She's 18, yet her parents won't even permit her to have a boyfriend. This isn't even a race issue - we are both Indian, Hindu and event the same branch of hinduism. They just don't want her to have a boyfriend. So she has to hide it from her parents, and when they find out she has to pretend she's broken up with me. How parents can find it in them not to want their children to be happy, and not to allow them freedom over their lives when they are adults, beggars belief.
If you love, dont care what the world thinks. Trust your heart and it will lead you right. Thats it. Basically its your life at the end...your parents arent going to live it for you. So...just get what you want! :top: and tell ur girl to stay strong!
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Adarah
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#146
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#146
My thoughts exactly you've got the right idea!!

You couldn't have said it any better. Positive rep coming your way.....
Thanks Rosalily! :hugs:

At the end of it all...its love that ought to triumph.
Very well said r raghav11!
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PapeeChumo
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#147
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#147
(Original post by fashionista)
im not too sure, they always said they'd give my boyfriend a chance if he was muslim, but i dont think they agree with how some muslim men treat woman and i no i would never convert to any other religion and they feel this might cause problems with me fitting in.I think they're a bit scared that that would give my grandparents a heartattack (they are very traditional) aswell lol


with regards to how some muslim men treat women, I have come to find it's a massive misconception
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PapeeChumo
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#148
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(Original post by kizdesai)
Mum: "Just as long as you're happy"

Dad: "anything but muslim"


I don't particularily 'go' for any single race/culture/religion but do find myself more attracted to indian girls :love:

y not muslim?-y everything else but not muslim, it baffles me?!?
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r_raghav11
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#149
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apprehensions might exist! I know its scary and there are a lot of hurdles. But love doesnt come at no cost. It involves sacrifices...on both sides! Right now...i'm dying to spend time with someone!!! I just cant wait to meet her!!! And its driving me insane! And both of us are very ambitious....and i know that when i start uni...we'll see each other like once a week and the wait will be painful!!! Coz we just are so comfy with one another...we get along great! and we miss each other so much! And i hope it works out! And i dont care abt what the world might think! what matters to me is her and what we share! And i miss her so much! :rolleyes:
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fashionista
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#150
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(Original post by Aj)
with regards to how some muslim men treat women, I have come to find it's a massive misconception
I no what you mean because i hate stereotypes and putting everyone into the same boat. Its all about different people and different circumstances.
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kpg
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#151
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#151
(Original post by Aj)
y not muslim?-y everything else but not muslim, it baffles me?!?
A vague generalisation but - Hindus and Muslims don't always get along. Traditionally, they don't openly mix. They don't marry. It's all well and good saying it's the 21st century, small world and all that but racial and cultural divides still exist and the only way to overcome that in a relationship, IMO, is to largely ignore what other people think.
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Snake
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#152
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#152
(Original post by fashionista)
I no what you mean because i hate stereotypes and putting everyone into the same boat. Its all about different people and different circumstances.
remember though that stereotypes do exist for a reason.
no stereotype is without any background or seed of truth.
Reema
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#153
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Well, I'm from a very traditional Gujurati Hindu family, who claim that I must marry a Patel, who must be a Hindu, from a certain *part* of Gujurat - so I reckon a lot of the Indian people here are pretty lucky from what I've read!

I accept that they won't ever accept a non-Indian/Muslim person into their family, so I have to be pretty guarded about not falling in love with someone like that (is that even possible, lol?!). Nevertheless I'm stuck a bit here, I wouldn't personally mind dating a white guy, for example - but I have very traditional parents (they are also much older than normal - 55, and I'm 18) And I love my parents and am really close - don't really want to hurt them, but I suppose if it entails my long-term happiness...

Problem is that I'm about half-coconut, hence a bit stuck!. Music-wise, while I love Indian Bollywood music, I also like the rock/indie scene (never really an "Indian" thing), while I love good indian films, I'm fussy about a lot of the crap Bollywood churns out, love Indian weddings etc/wearing Indian clothes - but somehow I still find I'm not on the same wavelength as other indian people. Not to mention I'm doing a philosophy degree - not apparently adequately "intellectual" or "cash-churning" for most Indians in my society, unfortunately.... (they'd prefer I'd do Law, Medicine or Dentistry...). Most people related to me obviously view me from a contemptuous point of view, and think I'm a coconut...

I personally do really want to marry an Indian guy (as mentioned above I have a high regard for my culture and don't really want to break away from it), but then I'm really going to struggle if I marry a normal trad. Indian, since I have liberal views. Also, a lot of the Indians brought up within a culture like that are either total conformers, or total rebels....

Ahhh I'm so confused! ....
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r_raghav11
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#154
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(Original post by Reema)
Well, I'm from a very traditional Gujurati Hindu family, who claim that I must marry a Patel, who must be a Hindu, from a certain *part* of Gujurat - so I reckon a lot of the Indian people here are pretty lucky from what I've read!

I accept that they won't ever accept a non-Indian/Muslim person into their family, so I have to be pretty guarded about not falling in love with someone like that (is that even possible, lol?!). Nevertheless I'm stuck a bit here, I wouldn't personally mind dating a white guy, for example - but I have very traditional parents (they are also much older than normal - 55, and I'm 18) And I love my parents and am really close - don't really want to hurt them, but I suppose if it entails my long-term happiness...

Problem is that I'm about half-coconut, hence a bit stuck!. Music-wise, while I love Indian Bollywood music, I also like the rock/indie scene (never really an "Indian" thing), while I love good indian films, I'm fussy about a lot of the crap Bollywood churns out, love Indian weddings etc/wearing Indian clothes - but somehow I still find I'm not on the same wavelength as other indian people. Not to mention I'm doing a philosophy degree - not apparently adequately "intellectual" or "cash-churning" for most Indians in my society, unfortunately.... (they'd prefer I'd do Law, Medicine or Dentistry...). Most people related to me obviously view me from a contemptuous point of view, and think I'm a coconut...

I personally do really want to marry an Indian guy (as mentioned above I have a high regard for my culture and don't really want to break away from it), but then I'm really going to struggle if I marry a normal trad. Indian, since I have liberal views. Also, a lot of the Indians brought up within a culture like that are either total conformers, or total rebels....

Ahhh I'm so confused! ....
I totally understand...its a tough predicament. But then you got to make the choice. But i disagree with u on the culture bit. I think u can find a brit and raise ur kids in the culture u want to ....i'm sure the guy will want the same too! provided u find the perfect guy. :rolleyes:
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KizD
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#155
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(Original post by Aj)
y not muslim?-y everything else but not muslim, it baffles me?!?
My Dad is 55 and an ********* basically.
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Socrates
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#156
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(Original post by kizdesai)
My Dad is 55 and an ********* basically.
:rofl:

Traditional Indian style....
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Reema
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#157
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(Original post by r_raghav11)
I totally understand...its a tough predicament. But then you got to make the choice. But i disagree with u on the culture bit. I think u can find a brit and raise ur kids in the culture u want to ....i'm sure the guy will want the same too! provided u find the perfect guy. :rolleyes:
Well I'd rather not make the choice. And as for the culture bit - we can disagree, it's not about raising kids in the culture I want to, although that's admittedly an issue. How many non-Indian men would permit or tolerate me bringing up them to speak Gujurati, be practising Hindus etc? And I've seen mixed race children within our society who have never been truly accepted just on the basis of their colour... That would be a difficult issue. Another thing about finding a Brit; you have to sort of initiate them into the culture, and there is the hassle of that. There's some things that are just self-evident to an Indian man that just isn't to a non-Indian.
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Amlea
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#158
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#158
You've got to remember one thing. Love doesn't care what culture your from.
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r_raghav11
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#159
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(Original post by Reema)
Well I'd rather not make the choice. And as for the culture bit - we can disagree, it's not about raising kids in the culture I want to, although that's admittedly an issue. How many non-Indian men would permit or tolerate me bringing up them to speak Gujurati, be practising Hindus etc? And I've seen mixed race children within our society who have never been truly accepted just on the basis of their colour... That would be a difficult issue. Another thing about finding a Brit; you have to sort of initiate them into the culture, and there is the hassle of that. There's some things that are just self-evident to an Indian man that just isn't to a non-Indian.
Thats a valid point! But c'mon if the guy loves you, wont he agree that u have to impart some of the culture that u have onto your kids ? I'm sure if u do find the perfect guy...he wont mind at all! I guess its a question of how comfortable you are with that. You have to talk it out. In my case...if i end up marrying a brit, i will definetely want her to teach our kids the culture she's from...and the qualities she has to be imparted to them. Thats what i fell in love with right? So...i'd definetely want my kids to know both cultures and be taught a bit of both. Now when i can make that happen for my kids i dont see a reason why another guy wouldnt want to. I'm sure u'll fall for a guy who is understanding enough to want you to do that!
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