The Student Room Group

Relationships and ethnicity

I am an Indian girl born in the UK who’s dating a white boy from the uk. We are both a good looking couple. But of course look different (diff races)

He’s told me that usually when he’s alone my Indian/ Asian girls don’t really check him out or do the following. However ,he’s said when he’s with me, girls from the same ethnic group as me are staring at us and then proceed to play with their hair and try to get his attention. I’ve noticed it to when we’re together it sometimes happens. I’m just wondering why? It does make me uncomfortable and on edge cos I’m like can’t you see we’re a couple. However, why does it happen when we’re together and not when he’s alone
Original post by Anonymous
I am an Indian girl born in the UK who’s dating a white boy from the uk. We are both a good looking couple. But of course look different (diff races)

He’s told me that usually when he’s alone my Indian/ Asian girls don’t really check him out or do the following. However ,he’s said when he’s with me, girls from the same ethnic group as me are staring at us and then proceed to play with their hair and try to get his attention. I’ve noticed it to when we’re together it sometimes happens. I’m just wondering why? It does make me uncomfortable and on edge cos I’m like can’t you see we’re a couple. However, why does it happen when we’re together and not when he’s alone


I'm not sure but as and indian girl myself, the Indian community really needs to drop there judgemental ideology and also just accept that your with someone of another race and leave you two alone.
Maybe those specific girls are in the habit of trying to attract the attention of a guy who has a gf.
Or are trying to bait a jealous/paranoid reaction from you.
Some girls get a thrill out of breaking up other people's relationships or enjoy starting drama by antagonising random girls that they happen to meet outside who seem to be of similar age and ethnicity to them.
Original post by londonmyst
Maybe those specific girls are in the habit of trying to attract the attention of a guy who has a gf.
Or are trying to bait a jealous/paranoid reaction from you.
Some girls get a thrill out of breaking up other people's relationships or enjoy starting drama by antagonising random girls that they happen to meet outside who seem to be of similar age and ethnicity to them.


I agree and think that's sick, why would you destroys someone's perfectly happy relationship?
Original post by Ytftgy7g7yby7
I agree and think that's sick, why would you destroys someone's perfectly happy relationship?


it's cuz they are jealous that they dont got that....also there are other factors to why girls would look at you guys...
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by MyLifeNotFound
it's cuz they are jealous that they dont got that....also there are other factors to why girls would look at you guys...


What other factors?
Original post by Anonymous
What other factors?

like they might think ur bf is attractive...ur attractive...want smth like ur guys..relationship... also people look when they see smth odd or not 'normal' looking.
Original post by MyLifeNotFound
like they might think ur bf is attractive...ur attractive...want smth like ur guys..relationship... also people look when they see smth odd or not 'normal' looking.


true haha. But as I’ve explained in the title my ethnic group only do it to him when I’m with him holding his hand. So it’s something to do with me. But idk what. Jealousy, insecure, trying to trigger me, looking for a reaction, because I’m pretty and they want validation too. Idk? But it annoys me.
Original post by Anonymous
true haha. But as I’ve explained in the title my ethnic group only do it to him when I’m with him holding his hand. So it’s something to do with me. But idk what. Jealousy, insecure, trying to trigger me, looking for a reaction, because I’m pretty and they want validation too. Idk? But it annoys me.


u stated all the reasons why...but im afraid we cant read their minds and know why excatly? why dont u confront one of them next time? say why u keep staring? idk what else it could be since u stated the reasons already.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I am an Indian girl born in the UK who’s dating a white boy from the uk. We are both a good looking couple. But of course look different (diff races)

He’s told me that usually when he’s alone my Indian/ Asian girls don’t really check him out or do the following. However ,he’s said when he’s with me, girls from the same ethnic group as me are staring at us and then proceed to play with their hair and try to get his attention. I’ve noticed it to when we’re together it sometimes happens. I’m just wondering why? It does make me uncomfortable and on edge cos I’m like can’t you see we’re a couple. However, why does it happen when we’re together and not when he’s alone


As an Indian girl, I've got two answers to this - firstly, it is science that women are more attracted to men who other women also find attractive, not just in terms of dating but because it means that they have characteristics that are attractive and good for human biology and natural selection and all kinds of stuff, therefore when seeing him with you it means that he's got a greater value to another women as a mate than on his own if that makes sense. It's really stupid and most women do not or should not act on it, but it works with both sexes anyways and its biology at the end of the day.

Secondly, a lot of Indians have a mindset that white men are higher up and out of our league (I personally think every race is equal and being attractive is more about features and personality if anything but I've heard this from numerous people), and therefore, seeing him date someone who is also Indian makes it more approachable in the minds of others. My boyfriend is also white, and this is something I've heard from friends of friends and been appalled by because honestly its disrespectful to me but yea.
Original post by Anonymous
As an Indian girl, I've got two answers to this - firstly, it is science that women are more attracted to men who other women also find attractive, not just in terms of dating but because it means that they have characteristics that are attractive and good for human biology and natural selection and all kinds of stuff, therefore when seeing him with you it means that he's got a greater value to another women as a mate than on his own if that makes sense. It's really stupid and most women do not or should not act on it, but it works with both sexes anyways and its biology at the end of the day.

Secondly, a lot of Indians have a mindset that white men are higher up and out of our league (I personally think every race is equal and being attractive is more about features and personality if anything but I've heard this from numerous people), and therefore, seeing him date someone who is also Indian makes it more approachable in the minds of others. My boyfriend is also white, and this is something I've heard from friends of friends and been appalled by because honestly its disrespectful to me but yea.


Pm me?
Original post by Anonymous
Pm me?


I dont think she can since ur anonymous...i think..
Original post by MyLifeNotFound
I dont think she can since ur anonymous...i think..


Anonymous users need to have accounts to post, so they can still send you messages, but not anonymously.
Original post by Doomotron
Anonymous users need to have accounts to post, so they can still send you messages, but not anonymously.


yh ik. but she asked someone to pm her...she didnt say ill pm u..
Original post by Anonymous
Pm me?


yea as some user below mentioned, I can't pm you unless I know your username. If you reply to this with it, I can send you a private message
Original post by Anonymous
I am an Indian girl born in the UK who’s dating a white boy from the uk. We are both a good looking couple. But of course look different (diff races)

He’s told me that usually when he’s alone my Indian/ Asian girls don’t really check him out or do the following. However ,he’s said when he’s with me, girls from the same ethnic group as me are staring at us and then proceed to play with their hair and try to get his attention. I’ve noticed it to when we’re together it sometimes happens. I’m just wondering why? It does make me uncomfortable and on edge cos I’m like can’t you see we’re a couple. However, why does it happen when we’re together and not when he’s alone

they're jealous fr.
and yk with stereotypes of us like being supposedly undesirable to other races like those "whats one race you wont date and why" like indians are the most disliked.
they think they have hope that white boys will like them the same way ur bf likes u.
it gives them that confidence and hope that other races will like them.
and trust me people will someday, its just its kinda a confidence booster for them when they see u another indian girl w a white boy
so yea thats what i think and im indian too so
hope u guys are goin strong xo
Original post by Anonymous
I am an Indian girl born in the UK who’s dating a white boy from the uk. We are both a good looking couple. But of course look different (diff races)

He’s told me that usually when he’s alone my Indian/ Asian girls don’t really check him out or do the following. However ,he’s said when he’s with me, girls from the same ethnic group as me are staring at us and then proceed to play with their hair and try to get his attention. I’ve noticed it to when we’re together it sometimes happens. I’m just wondering why? It does make me uncomfortable and on edge cos I’m like can’t you see we’re a couple. However, why does it happen when we’re together and not when he’s alone

maybe because they can identify with you so they kind of aspire or maybe like white guys too. It could also be that ur bf doesnt notice the same thing happening when hes alone

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