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Basing happiness on external things

Why do the majority of us base our happiness on external things? We get something new, perhaps get a new partner, earn alot money etc... are we are happy in the short term. However, it does not last and we continue to look for happiness in external things. I've had major insight particularly in the last year after meeting what I thought was a great girl. I was on cloud 9, thought it was meant to be and alot of my happiness was based on being with this girl until we split and I felt unhappy again. It seems to go in cycles with people, they go through early life accumulating things which they base there happiness on and then its taken away and they become unhappy. They accumulate again and become happy again but fail to realise what is happening. Ultimately, long term happiness isn't based on external things and ultimately it comes from deep within. You only have yourself, accept yourself, avoid seeking validation others as it just looks to strengthen the ego which is a false sense of self esteem.

Any comments? Maybe I've looked into self improvement abit to deeply, i'm not to sure.

Reply 1

Liyah

This is exactly what I have been thinking about today , I feel so ugly and I have been asking myself why it matters so much

Reply 2

SmartFool

Money dosen't bring happiness but neither does poverty.

Reply 3

akash11

Face it humans are proggramed to find external things which make us happy and give us happiness. Yes, inner strength and self acceptance can give you inner happiness, but thats no wehere near s good a feeling as out happiness that external things gve you.

Reply 4

Ilyusha

Basing our happiness/identity on anything except who God is and what he is for us in Jesus Christ is what the Bible calls idolatry. Romans 1:23 talks about how people have "exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things". Instead of having the Creator God as the focus of our delight/dreams/hopes, we worship created things, like ourselves/other people/money. No wonder it isn't satisfying, because we were made for something more than transient pleasures.

CS Lewis (yes, the author of Narnia!) said "If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world".

This is a short article by John Piper called "The Quest for Joy: 6 Biblical Truths". http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/resources/quest-for-joy

I know I've experienced joy far above anything this world could offer since becoming a Christian.

Reply 5

toddy21

True happiness only comes when you stop seeking to validate/confirm your identity through material things or rather the THOUGHTS that you attach to them. Thinking is useful from a practical point of view but can lead to alot of misery when people let themselves be absorbed in their head. So basically i guess people think too much!

Also, alot of unhappiness comes from complaining/thinking of yourself as a victim. Everything is as it is whether it's good or bad - judging or complaining about a person/situation rarely changes anything. I think it's important to be proactive if you want to resolve something or improve your life but it needs to come from acknowledgement/acceptance of the present moment rather than resistance or anger.

Thanks OP for starting this thread - quite philosophical issue but it makes a welcome change to all the depressing stories on here.

Reply 6

Misnomer

Only God can bring me true happiness. His peace is not like any I have experienced before.

Reply 7

MrDoovde

SmartFool

Money dosen't bring happiness but neither does poverty.

you have enlightened me greatly.

You are correct.

I agree Toddy. Look at all the depressing threads. There lives are based in cycles, from happiness to depression and vice versa. In alot of cases, seems because they have been dumped. It's difficult I know and my heart has been torn from recent breakup but it's given me a MASSIVE realisation. Why is my happiness based on these girls? It's as if I'm not happy in myself and I need girls to validate me.