My "rival" is depressed/needs help...
Someone in my friend group appears to me to have depression (I know because I've suffered severe depression for years). They have started to talk to me about suicidal-based thoughts and self harm more frequently.
I'm jealous of this person as they have many friends, a close family, they are very close to their siblings, are good looking (and knows it), healthy, highly academic and a competetive athlete. In other words, they are pretty perfect.
I on the otherhand am the complete opposite of the above, am chronically ill, and feel If I could just be in this persons shoes I'd be much happier in myself.
Part of me knows that I should obviously be supporting this person, but part of me is angry that they takes their perfect life for granted. In some way I jsut feel I'd be making them even better than me. Its childish and pathetic I know, and I feel like a spiteful person for even thinking this but can't I just ignore them?
And besides, if I offer help it will ultimately expose my own depression, my own weakness I've been hiding to this person. Is there any way I could anonymously help this person?
I'm jealous of this person as they have many friends, a close family, they are very close to their siblings, are good looking (and knows it), healthy, highly academic and a competetive athlete. In other words, they are pretty perfect.
I on the otherhand am the complete opposite of the above, am chronically ill, and feel If I could just be in this persons shoes I'd be much happier in myself.
Part of me knows that I should obviously be supporting this person, but part of me is angry that they takes their perfect life for granted. In some way I jsut feel I'd be making them even better than me. Its childish and pathetic I know, and I feel like a spiteful person for even thinking this but can't I just ignore them?
And besides, if I offer help it will ultimately expose my own depression, my own weakness I've been hiding to this person. Is there any way I could anonymously help this person?
My rival always beats me to gyms and gets his badges before me, before leaving with his classic "smell you later" line.
Really ****s me off.
Really ****s me off.
Hmmm well I suppose its a bit of a tough decision for you.. but I suggest you help the person, you never know when you might need that person's help or something, or even think about it, if you help your friend, you might become close friends and then be introduced to all the friends he knows, and then you will have many friends as well. In the end, I think it's best if you help, as I said you never know when you might need someone else's help.
Helping the person might also make you feel better that you helped someone, or the fact that you made a difference in someone's life, who knows, by helping him, you may save him.
Helping the person might also make you feel better that you helped someone, or the fact that you made a difference in someone's life, who knows, by helping him, you may save him.
Original post by ritchie888
My rival always beats me to gyms and gets his badges before me, before leaving with his classic "smell you later" line.
Really ****s me off.
Really ****s me off.
Some reason Gary came to mind as soon as I saw the word rival..
Original post by Liam 09
Some reason Gary came to mind as soon as I saw the word rival..
Great minds think alike.
Original post by ritchie888
My rival always beats me to gyms and gets his badges before me, before leaving with his classic "smell you later" line.
Really ****s me off.
Really ****s me off.
legend.
If you're jealous of someone, yet they're coming to you for help, doesn't that mean you have something they don't? Or they need you, at the very least.
A friend in need is a friend indeed, so to say.
A friend in need is a friend indeed, so to say.
Depression is more than just taking your life for granted, you know. People can't help being depressed, it's an illness just as much as any physical illness which needs treatment and support.
Original post by Anonymous
Someone in my friend group appears to me to have depression (I know because I've suffered severe depression for years). They have started to talk to me about suicidal-based thoughts and self harm more frequently.
I'm jealous of this person as they have many friends, a close family, they are very close to their siblings, are good looking (and knows it), healthy, highly academic and a competetive athlete. In other words, they are pretty perfect.
I on the otherhand am the complete opposite of the above, am chronically ill, and feel If I could just be in this persons shoes I'd be much happier in myself.
Part of me knows that I should obviously be supporting this person, but part of me is angry that they takes their perfect life for granted. In some way I jsut feel I'd be making them even better than me. Its childish and pathetic I know, and I feel like a spiteful person for even thinking this but can't I just ignore them?
And besides, if I offer help it will ultimately expose my own depression, my own weakness I've been hiding to this person. Is there any way I could anonymously help this person?
I'm jealous of this person as they have many friends, a close family, they are very close to their siblings, are good looking (and knows it), healthy, highly academic and a competetive athlete. In other words, they are pretty perfect.
I on the otherhand am the complete opposite of the above, am chronically ill, and feel If I could just be in this persons shoes I'd be much happier in myself.
Part of me knows that I should obviously be supporting this person, but part of me is angry that they takes their perfect life for granted. In some way I jsut feel I'd be making them even better than me. Its childish and pathetic I know, and I feel like a spiteful person for even thinking this but can't I just ignore them?
And besides, if I offer help it will ultimately expose my own depression, my own weakness I've been hiding to this person. Is there any way I could anonymously help this person?
Is it very normal for people to have rivals?
And those starving kids in Africa and all the people in Japan that are suffering massively may look at your life and see it as perfect. As they say the grass is always greener on the other side, I don't want this to seem like a "man up and get over it" kind of response 'cos that isn't exactly gonna make you feel better, but it's not their fault they are close to their family and are good looking, just like it's not your fault you're chronically ill. So don't just blank them, they may be in desperate need for help, just like you might be at some point in the past/present/future. Maybe exposing your weakness and depression isn't such a bad thing, they are obviously doing the same thing if they are opening up to you and asking for your help. All I'm saying is, what if the shoe was on the other foot, what if there is someone else thinking these exact thoughts about you? In my own personal opinion I think you should try and help anyone in need, regardless of what they've done, people need to be compassionate, and from what it seems to me is that this person hasn't done anything aside from doing well in school and being good looking and last time I checked that didn't warrant being ignored.
Obviously I have no idea about the ins and outs of the situation and I may have misjudged it completely (feel free to shoot me down if I have) but give the guy a break, maybe you helping him would be mutually beneficial? Certainly not easy I grant you that but give it a go
I hope that's helped!
Obviously I have no idea about the ins and outs of the situation and I may have misjudged it completely (feel free to shoot me down if I have) but give the guy a break, maybe you helping him would be mutually beneficial? Certainly not easy I grant you that but give it a go
I hope that's helped!
If you hadn't kept your own dealings with depression under the radar the whole time, I'd have said that helping this 'rival' could be a great way to console yourself with the idea that you're a better human (in a Platonic sense) than they are, which would defocus your perception of their other 'perfect' qualities, possibly making you feel like there are more important things to fret over. At the same time, you're settling your differences and helping this friend of yours out too, which could be a way of expressing yourself through a subtle reality check in an attempt at aiding them.
Other than that, it seems a bit narcissistic of you to envy someone for facets of their life that are presumably more ideal than those of your own. Perhaps they feel as though they lead a hollow existence in knowing that things are going so well in certain standardized areas of their life, yet they're still not content with their lives. Surely that indicate that their problems transcend matters you hold in high regard? (Friends, family support, etc.)
Ultimately, you have a common ground with this person now - depression. It would be practical to utilize it in order to even the scale and get over your own bouts with depression, effectively making use of it in a positive way. I mean, it's hard enough finding people who understand how visceral this condition can be - may as well be someone you consider a friend with mutual dealings with it.
Other than that, it seems a bit narcissistic of you to envy someone for facets of their life that are presumably more ideal than those of your own. Perhaps they feel as though they lead a hollow existence in knowing that things are going so well in certain standardized areas of their life, yet they're still not content with their lives. Surely that indicate that their problems transcend matters you hold in high regard? (Friends, family support, etc.)
Ultimately, you have a common ground with this person now - depression. It would be practical to utilize it in order to even the scale and get over your own bouts with depression, effectively making use of it in a positive way. I mean, it's hard enough finding people who understand how visceral this condition can be - may as well be someone you consider a friend with mutual dealings with it.
Original post by Anonymous
Someone in my friend group appears to me to have depression (I know because I've suffered severe depression for years). They have started to talk to me about suicidal-based thoughts and self harm more frequently.
I'm jealous of this person as they have many friends, a close family, they are very close to their siblings, are good looking (and knows it), healthy, highly academic and a competetive athlete. In other words, they are pretty perfect.
I on the otherhand am the complete opposite of the above, am chronically ill, and feel If I could just be in this persons shoes I'd be much happier in myself.
Part of me knows that I should obviously be supporting this person, but part of me is angry that they takes their perfect life for granted. In some way I jsut feel I'd be making them even better than me. Its childish and pathetic I know, and I feel like a spiteful person for even thinking this but can't I just ignore them?
And besides, if I offer help it will ultimately expose my own depression, my own weakness I've been hiding to this person. Is there any way I could anonymously help this person?
I'm jealous of this person as they have many friends, a close family, they are very close to their siblings, are good looking (and knows it), healthy, highly academic and a competetive athlete. In other words, they are pretty perfect.
I on the otherhand am the complete opposite of the above, am chronically ill, and feel If I could just be in this persons shoes I'd be much happier in myself.
Part of me knows that I should obviously be supporting this person, but part of me is angry that they takes their perfect life for granted. In some way I jsut feel I'd be making them even better than me. Its childish and pathetic I know, and I feel like a spiteful person for even thinking this but can't I just ignore them?
And besides, if I offer help it will ultimately expose my own depression, my own weakness I've been hiding to this person. Is there any way I could anonymously help this person?
1. Depression is relative; she's having just as **** a time as you.
2. Don't be that person whose chronic illness makes them bitter.
3. Your depression is hardly a weakness; it's perfectly understandable!
Share your feelings with her, and your bitterness will melt away.
Original post by Arekkusu
All those American teenagers who have released ****e music recently may see your life as perfect.
Original post by Stormwhite
If you're jealous of someone, yet they're coming to you for help, doesn't that mean you have something they don't? Or they need you, at the very least.
A friend in need is a friend indeed, so to say.
A friend in need is a friend indeed, so to say.
Well said. OP I'd listen to this and take some pride in knowing that this person, who as you say has loads of friends and family, has chosen you to help them. That's a very special thing which doesn't happen to many people.
Helping them will make you feel better yourself.
As for depression, it's my understanding that it's a physical thing, a chemical imbalance in your brain. Although it can be triggered by certain events, it can also just happen.
I don't know if that will make you feel any better right now, but I always believe that a better understanding of something (or simply thinking about something in a new light) can help later on the long run.
I understand your concern about exposing your "weaknesses," and I assure you I felt exactly the same way, but when you get it off your chest it'll be a huge weight off your shoulders.
And who knows, maybe this person might be the right person to tell. You can be "Depression Buddies"
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