(Original post by Warrior King)
Did I condemn her decision at all?
Ah, but I never said you did. I was just pointing out that "running away" from problems, despite its negative connotations, can be the most sensible move.
My situation is not exactly the same as the OP but did draw parallels and similarities. All I am saying is that it would be a shame if after all those years of hard work, dedication and passion, that she had to leave the university she for long dreamt of studying at based on her experiences of a few narrow-minded ignorant parasites.
She wouldn't be running from her problems at all. If anything it would take a lot of courage and bravery to admit what she has just done on this forum and leave. But people seem to have this idea that Oxford is somehow some magical land different from reality. The real world isn't much different. You'll find as much ignorance, narrow-mindedness and sometimes vile and repulsive human beings in every other town, city, country or university in the world as you would at Oxford. And God forbid if the OP were to unfortunately experience similar episodes at Birmingham or any other university, this could may well trigger a chain of regrets.
I said what I did from personal experience of being in a not too different situation but then turning around and asking myself what I really wanted from this and to me that was to achieve my end goal and I'll be damned if anyone is going to stop me from doing that.
Yes university is about having a good time but you can have a good time at any place you can study at. University life is what you make of it. And first and foremost you are there for an education and there will be times where going out, playing sport etc may have to sit on the back burner and studies come first. This is no different to commitments in a professional working career.
And if you are academically capable of cracking a tough nut like Oxford but walk away because of a few "bullies" then that's wasting potential and opportunities like that may never come again.
Trust me, not everyone's that keen on Oxford. If family pressure is compelling OP to stay at Oxford, then you can bet that it family pressure contributed in getting her there. And more importantly, graduating from Birmingham instead of Oxford most likely won't stop her from pursuing what she wants to in the future.
Of course there's every possibility that the OP could hate Birmingham, but that's the risk you take. It's better to take a risk on your own grounds, rather than letting family pressure dictate your choices.
And it's not about "a few bullies". The entire environment appears to be draining the OP's energy. The events she described come across as trivial- which illustrates how uncomfortable she is with the place if these little things bother her.
Perhaps it's different for fresher's and pre-university students compared to a veteran like myself. Perhaps you are all blinded by the bright lights of being able to party long and hard into the night and a utopia of £1 pints at the Student Union or doing something new like Trampolining or a Malaysian martial art or something. That's understandable. University is the next major step in your life. But isn't it supposed to be about your education first and foremost?
Please refrain from being so utterly condescending, we're both here to help the OP, this is not some opportunity for you to exert your assumed superiority as an older and wiser "veteran" over me, the clearly stupid and naive "pre-fresher". If you knew the first thing about my attitudes towards partying vs. my attitudes towards education you'd feel positively retarded for posting what you just wrote.
Education and contentment go hand-in-hand- it's not about compromising one for the other. People who are content are able to muster the motivation and willpower to succeed in their education. If the OP is able to go to a university where she feels comfortable and accepted (which she doesn't at the moment), she will be in a better place to do well in her studies.