parents want me to stay at home for uni...
Hiya;
I have been discussing with my parents about Universities etc and where I'm aiming to apply for. I want to study Hispanic Studies and my local University offers it (would have to commute 30 minutes one way), I'm near Kent Uni. I know it's a good university; however I am desperate to apply to Nottingham Uni. I have an Aunt and Uncle who live up in Lincolnshire, in the city center (actually opposite the Uni campus pretty much), and they're roughly an hour if less, away from Notts. Nottingham is meant to be such a good university and I'm adamant to go there because I hear such good reports.
My parents have basically said no. They want me to go to Kent or perhaps apply to Kings College in London, I've tried telling them that the commute to London most days would probably cost as much as staying away!
My family income is a 100k+ so I doubt we'd get any help or support from any grants would we?
What would you do? Would you go to the local one? I know it sounds silly but I don't want to be spending the next 4 years of my life at home (okay so I have a year abroad but still).
Are there any ways to work around this etc?
I have been discussing with my parents about Universities etc and where I'm aiming to apply for. I want to study Hispanic Studies and my local University offers it (would have to commute 30 minutes one way), I'm near Kent Uni. I know it's a good university; however I am desperate to apply to Nottingham Uni. I have an Aunt and Uncle who live up in Lincolnshire, in the city center (actually opposite the Uni campus pretty much), and they're roughly an hour if less, away from Notts. Nottingham is meant to be such a good university and I'm adamant to go there because I hear such good reports.
My parents have basically said no. They want me to go to Kent or perhaps apply to Kings College in London, I've tried telling them that the commute to London most days would probably cost as much as staying away!
My family income is a 100k+ so I doubt we'd get any help or support from any grants would we?
What would you do? Would you go to the local one? I know it sounds silly but I don't want to be spending the next 4 years of my life at home (okay so I have a year abroad but still).
Are there any ways to work around this etc?
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What would your parents do If you just went against them and chose to go to Nottingham? Will you be able to do that?
Original post by lassiesuca
Hiya;
I have been discussing with my parents about Universities etc and where I'm aiming to apply for. I want to study Hispanic Studies and my local University offers it (would have to commute 30 minutes one way), I'm near Kent Uni. I know it's a good university; however I am desperate to apply to Nottingham Uni. I have an Aunt and Uncle who live up in Lincolnshire, in the city center (actually opposite the Uni campus pretty much), and they're roughly an hour if less, away from Notts. Nottingham is meant to be such a good university and I'm adamant to go there because I hear such good reports.
My parents have basically said no. They want me to go to Kent or perhaps apply to Kings College in London, I've tried telling them that the commute to London most days would probably cost as much as staying away!
My family income is a 100k+ so I doubt we'd get any help or support from any grants would we?
What would you do? Would you go to the local one? I know it sounds silly but I don't want to be spending the next 4 years of my life at home (okay so I have a year abroad but still).
Are there any ways to work around this etc?
I have been discussing with my parents about Universities etc and where I'm aiming to apply for. I want to study Hispanic Studies and my local University offers it (would have to commute 30 minutes one way), I'm near Kent Uni. I know it's a good university; however I am desperate to apply to Nottingham Uni. I have an Aunt and Uncle who live up in Lincolnshire, in the city center (actually opposite the Uni campus pretty much), and they're roughly an hour if less, away from Notts. Nottingham is meant to be such a good university and I'm adamant to go there because I hear such good reports.
My parents have basically said no. They want me to go to Kent or perhaps apply to Kings College in London, I've tried telling them that the commute to London most days would probably cost as much as staying away!
My family income is a 100k+ so I doubt we'd get any help or support from any grants would we?
What would you do? Would you go to the local one? I know it sounds silly but I don't want to be spending the next 4 years of my life at home (okay so I have a year abroad but still).
Are there any ways to work around this etc?
Convince them maybe? Why Nottingham is good for you?
Also explain that the university your going to is your choice alone at the end of the day and that they are a small part of it because this is about your future and being able live a independent life.
They have said they won't pay for my accommodation fees- sorry I wasn't clear in my initial post! They said it's cheaper for me to stay at home. Unless I pay for it. However, can I get a job whilst balancing a uni lifestyle to pay for my accommodation fees? Out of interest.
Sorry for the novicey questions!
Sorry for the novicey questions!
Original post by lassiesuca
They have said they won't pay for my accommodation fees- sorry I wasn't clear in my initial post! They said it's cheaper for me to stay at home. Unless I pay for it. However, can I get a job whilst balancing a uni lifestyle to pay for my accommodation fees? Out of interest.
Sorry for the novicey questions!
Sorry for the novicey questions!
Plenty of people do, but I'd rather avoid it unless absolutely necessary.
Only stay at home if YOU want to- not what your parents want. I am living at home for University but that was my choice. No you wouldn't get any grants I don't think unless the university of your choice has grants in place for high achieving students.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Iqbal007
Convince them maybe? Why Nottingham is good for you?
Also explain that the university your going to is your choice alone at the end of the day and that they are a small part of it because this is about your future and being able live a independent life.
Also explain that the university your going to is your choice alone at the end of the day and that they are a small part of it because this is about your future and being able live a independent life.
And you would honestly take this advice if you were in her situation?
Thanks for the fast response everyone;
So a another question, the accommodation fees- are they paid off via a student loan once I'm earning? Does it vary etc?
In fact, I may go do some research! x
So a another question, the accommodation fees- are they paid off via a student loan once I'm earning? Does it vary etc?
In fact, I may go do some research! x
I wouldn't stay at home for uni. Its the opportunity to grow up and live separately from your parents. You parents should understand you are an adult and not be treated as a child any more.
I would say try to convince them you are capable of living independently but also be prepared to go aganist their wishes because it is your life, not theirs.
I would say try to convince them you are capable of living independently but also be prepared to go aganist their wishes because it is your life, not theirs.
Original post by lassiesuca
Thanks for the fast response everyone;
So a another question, the accommodation fees- are they paid off via a student loan once I'm earning? Does it vary etc?
In fact, I may go do some research! x
So a another question, the accommodation fees- are they paid off via a student loan once I'm earning? Does it vary etc?
In fact, I may go do some research! x
accommodation fee is part of the maintenance loan, and you can always get a part-time job whilst at uni to give you the extra support financially!
Pushy parents like that annoy me so much. You're an adult now, and you should do what you want to do, not what makes them happy.
Ignore them and just go for it, OP. Do some research into grants and scholarships, and have a chat with some other people who have been in a similar boat for some ideas.
Ignore them and just go for it, OP. Do some research into grants and scholarships, and have a chat with some other people who have been in a similar boat for some ideas.
Original post by IlexBlue
Pushy parents like that annoy me so much. You're an adult now, and you should do what you want to do, not what makes them happy.
Ignore them and just go for it, OP. Do some research into grants and scholarships, and have a chat with some other people who have been in a similar boat for some ideas.
Ignore them and just go for it, OP. Do some research into grants and scholarships, and have a chat with some other people who have been in a similar boat for some ideas.
That's all very well, unless you want to use their money for your independence.
You have to seem like you are meeting them halfway in this sort of situation while in fact getting your whole way. All the people saying 'you're an adult tell them to get stuffed' or some variation are not being realistic, your parents only want the best for you afterall and have provided well for you for many years. Telling you to live at home is not abuse.
Anyway I recommended that you do your research and find out about maintenance loans etc. If you find out they do no loans and you have to work tell your parents that you will find a job to support yourself and pay for accommodation. When they protest to this, as I'm sure they will, tell them that you will try it for the first year only and then if you find you cannot keep up with studying and working at the same time (or worse can't find a job) then you will come back home. You can explain that the first year does not count for very much (if anything) and therefore the risk is low.
If they agree to that and you DO cope then you will already have moved out and they'll be used to the idea and probably let you just stay there the whole time. If you actually DON'T cope then at least you will have moved out and probably made good friends so living at home won't be as bad as you'll be able to stay with them etc.
Anyway I recommended that you do your research and find out about maintenance loans etc. If you find out they do no loans and you have to work tell your parents that you will find a job to support yourself and pay for accommodation. When they protest to this, as I'm sure they will, tell them that you will try it for the first year only and then if you find you cannot keep up with studying and working at the same time (or worse can't find a job) then you will come back home. You can explain that the first year does not count for very much (if anything) and therefore the risk is low.
If they agree to that and you DO cope then you will already have moved out and they'll be used to the idea and probably let you just stay there the whole time. If you actually DON'T cope then at least you will have moved out and probably made good friends so living at home won't be as bad as you'll be able to stay with them etc.
(edited 12 years ago)
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