My choice vs parent’s choice
Gonna get straight to the point.
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
Scroll to see replies
Why take the risk of changing when everything is going so well for you? It is your life, and although I can understand you wanting to please your parents, if things don’t go as well in the new school as in your current uni, the resentment that will result will do far more harm than good to your relationship.
Stay where you are. Uni is for studying, but also for growing as an adult. Hold onto your independence!
Stay where you are. Uni is for studying, but also for growing as an adult. Hold onto your independence!
Original post by Anonymous
Gonna get straight to the point.
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear this.
In my opinion your happiness is more important, this is your university experience and is your future career!
I think it would be best to sit down and have a conversation with your parents and see why they think it would be best for you to go to university in your city rather than away. As there points could be about cost in which you could maybe look into getting a job which could help support yourself for example.
Rebecca
2nd Year Geoenvironmental Hazards Student
Original post by Anonymous
Why take the risk of changing when everything is going so well for you? It is your life, and although I can understand you wanting to please your parents, if things don’t go as well in the new school as in your current uni, the resentment that will result will do far more harm than good to your relationship.
Stay where you are. Uni is for studying, but also for growing as an adult. Hold onto your independence!
Stay where you are. Uni is for studying, but also for growing as an adult. Hold onto your independence!
Thanks for your reply ! I wholly agree with your points.
Now this additional information may change some things:
- The course/uni change could potentially place me at a better career options- (changing from biomed to nursing)
- my current uni offers this but with a January start
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for your reply ! I wholly agree with your points.
Now this additional information may change some things:
- The course/uni change could potentially place me at a better career options- (changing from biomed to nursing)
- my current uni offers this but with a January start
Now this additional information may change some things:
- The course/uni change could potentially place me at a better career options- (changing from biomed to nursing)
- my current uni offers this but with a January start
Stay where you are and change course there if this is what interests you. A couple of months here or there is of no relevance in a lifetime of work.
Original post by Anonymous
Stay where you are and change course there if this is what interests you. A couple of months here or there is of no relevance in a lifetime of work.
Thanks for your insight !
Original post by Anonymous
Gonna get straight to the point.
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
Hi there,
Your happiness should always come first. Uni life is full of ups and downs so its important that you're in a city that you like, doing a course you enjoy and with people who make you happy. If your parents have any concerns, it may be worth showing them just how much thought you're putting into staying in your current uni city (e.g. cost of living in your city, what modules you'd like to take, what your accommodation plans are).
Hope this helps!
- Sophie
Original post by StudentRoost Rep
Hi there,
Your happiness should always come first. Uni life is full of ups and downs so its important that you're in a city that you like, doing a course you enjoy and with people who make you happy. If your parents have any concerns, it may be worth showing them just how much thought you're putting into staying in your current uni city (e.g. cost of living in your city, what modules you'd like to take, what your accommodation plans are).
Hope this helps!
- Sophie
Your happiness should always come first. Uni life is full of ups and downs so its important that you're in a city that you like, doing a course you enjoy and with people who make you happy. If your parents have any concerns, it may be worth showing them just how much thought you're putting into staying in your current uni city (e.g. cost of living in your city, what modules you'd like to take, what your accommodation plans are).
Hope this helps!
- Sophie
Yes, been struggling at lot mentally and being at home as significantly amplified that. Being away from my (slightly chaotic) family has brought a lot of peace and tranquillity into my life and has allowed me to meet new people and create new experiences, which in turned as allowed me to learn a lot about myself.
If being in a different city is the first step to my happiness and self discovery, then I’ll happily choose that !
Original post by Anonymous
Gonna get straight to the point.
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
Foundation courses are usually specific to a uni so it's unlikely you can swap. It's YOUR degree...
(edited 8 months ago)
Original post by Muttley79
Foundation courses are usually specific to a uni so it's unlikely you can swap. It's YOUR degree...
Ahh I wasn’t aware of that! Gonna bring that one up to my parents haha 😂
Original post by Anonymous
Ahh I wasn’t aware of that! Gonna bring that one up to my parents haha 😂
Good luck - it's so wrong for your parents to pressure you [I speak as a parent and teacher]
Original post by Anonymous
Gonna get straight to the point.
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
Stay where you are at your current uni!
definitely don't lose that bit of independenceWere you living away from home, or living at home during your foundation year? I'm just wondering whether maybe they didn't expect you to enjoy it so much and now they're worried about losing that control over you, but the truth is you've got to grow up eventually
Do you plan to commute or live in uni accommodation sorted for this year? its not always easy to get someone to take over a tenancy, so that's another point you can use
(edited 8 months ago)
As another parent and teacher I also say its your life and your choice!
Original post by Chronoscope
Stay where you are at your current uni! definitely don't lose that bit of independence
Were you living away from home, or living at home during your foundation year? I'm just wondering whether maybe they didn't expect you to enjoy it so much and now they're worried about losing that control over you, but the truth is you've got to grow up eventually
Do you plan to commute or live in uni accommodation sorted for this year? its not always easy to get someone to take over a tenancy, so that's another point you can use
definitely don't lose that bit of independenceWere you living away from home, or living at home during your foundation year? I'm just wondering whether maybe they didn't expect you to enjoy it so much and now they're worried about losing that control over you, but the truth is you've got to grow up eventually
Do you plan to commute or live in uni accommodation sorted for this year? its not always easy to get someone to take over a tenancy, so that's another point you can use
Yes , I was living away from home in a student accommodation. I think that’s the main reason too haha. My parents are trying to bribe me with money and other things, but as nice as that sounds I don’t think I would want to let go of all the experiences and people I’ve met in the last year.
This year I’m planning to move into an apartment with a friend.
Original post by HoldThisL
why do you want to live with your parents when you're 19? do you still want to live with them when you're 22-5? do you think they will stop you from living independently later on?
My parents don’t want me to live with them. They just want me to live in the same city, but they said I can live in my own apartment. The problem is, all my friends are in another city, so I’ll have to start afresh. Not something I want. (Prefer the nightlife and activities in the other city anyways 😂)
Original post by Anonymous
My parents don’t want me to live with them. They just want me to live in the same city, but they said I can live in my own apartment. The problem is, all my friends are in another city, so I’ll have to start afresh. Not something I want. (Prefer the nightlife and activities in the other city anyways 😂)
oh i see, in that case, replace my questions with why you want to (let them make you) live close to them?
Original post by Anonymous
Gonna get straight to the point.
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
Your choice is so much more important than your parents. I think you need to stand up to them and just tell them no. Did your parents try to make you stay last year when you were applying?
Original post by Anonymous
Gonna get straight to the point.
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
I’m 19, just finished a foundation year in a university 2hrs away from home. Currently home for the summer, and my parents have been trying to convince me to switch unis and courses and stay in my city.
One one hand I want to please my parents and make them proud , on the other hand I have made so many friends and great memories in my first year of uni that I wouldn’t want to throw that all away. Also love the freedom and independence living in a different city has given me !!
Which do you think I should choose ? My happiness or my parent’s happiness?
Hi!
Congratulations on completing your foundation year! I definitely think the priority should be your happiness - it's your degree and your life, and you'd be the only one who would be left with the regret if you chose something you did not want. Speak to your parents about their thoughts and why they want you to move home. If it's money, you tend to get higher maintenance loan when living away from home and you can also get a part-time job if necessary. If it's that they miss you, you could always make an effort to visit them every so often and call them regularly. Just things like this so it's a bit more of a compromise might be good!
Hope this helps!
Estelle
Second Year Psychology
University of Huddersfield
Original post by jonathanemptage
Your choice is so much more important than your parents. I think you need to stand up to them and just tell them no. Did your parents try to make you stay last year when you were applying?
They actually did try to make me stay but we’re a bit more lenient. I am glad I stood my ground !
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