Move out or stay home and save more money

I’m 20 nearly 21, i moved back home with my parents after dropping out of uni.

I get on with my parents most of the time but they also live in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere I have a boring job in a petrol station rn and earn £1200 a month- I pay my parents a small amount for rent each week.

So far I have saved up £3.5k as I have had to pay off £2k debt and only have £700 left. (The debt was caused by living beyond my means at uni- drinking too much etc).

I have learned from my past mistake of not being responsible with money, now that I earn money I appreciate costs etc.

Anyway- the main point: my parents have strict boundaries for the house- my mum is very strict that she needs to know where I am etc. I can’t come home after 11pm. I feel so suffocated and like I can’t be myself (I’m gay, I have gay friends but they all live in cities the closest is an hour away). My parents know about my sexuality and don’t care/ love me no matter what but I need to be with people like me. I have no social life atm- which for me is horrible because I love seeing friends/ I’m a sociable person.

I lived with friends before and it was much more relaxed and they were considerate of not being too overbearing/ we hardly argued etc.

I’m not sure if I should go and live with a friend for a year or stay home a bit longer at the expense of feeling stuck at home?

Thanks

Reply 1

Clearing and Applications Advisor, Universities Forum Helper

Start making plans to move out. You’ll want to clear your debt and save up a deposit so it might take a few more months but it’s going to take that time to find the right place to live and get a new job in that location too.

Reply 2

Autumn223

Original post

by PQ

This is the best advice on this ^ plan and save up while you plan :smile:

Reply 3

Surnia

Why are there restrictions on you being out at night? You've said your mum is strict; could you get your dad onside to tackle her and you have a night out and stay over with a friend?

As for the money, short-term pain, long-term gain. Stick with it whilst you build up your savings, but what is your longer term plan? If you are moving, landlords would want someone with a regular income, so what would you do for a job elsewhere, driving lessons (?), deposit etc.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post

by Surnia

Why are there restrictions on you being out at night? You've said your mum is strict; could you get your dad onside to tackle her and you have a night out and stay over with a friend?
As for the money, short-term pain, long-term gain. Stick with it whilst you build up your savings, but what is your longer term plan? If you are moving, landlords would want someone with a regular income, so what would you do for a job elsewhere, driving lessons (?), deposit etc.

My mum is a driving instructor so I’m learning atm- I think I will stay until I’ve finished learning to drive and saved some more. Jobs wise- I’m applying to apprenticeships which have a more stable salary than other jobs :smile:

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m 20 nearly 21, i moved back home with my parents after dropping out of uni.
I get on with my parents most of the time but they also live in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere I have a boring job in a petrol station rn and earn £1200 a month- I pay my parents a small amount for rent each week.
So far I have saved up £3.5k as I have had to pay off £2k debt and only have £700 left. (The debt was caused by living beyond my means at uni- drinking too much etc).
I have learned from my past mistake of not being responsible with money, now that I earn money I appreciate costs etc.
Anyway- the main point: my parents have strict boundaries for the house- my mum is very strict that she needs to know where I am etc. I can’t come home after 11pm. I feel so suffocated and like I can’t be myself (I’m gay, I have gay friends but they all live in cities the closest is an hour away). My parents know about my sexuality and don’t care/ love me no matter what but I need to be with people like me. I have no social life atm- which for me is horrible because I love seeing friends/ I’m a sociable person.
I lived with friends before and it was much more relaxed and they were considerate of not being too overbearing/ we hardly argued etc.
I’m not sure if I should go and live with a friend for a year or stay home a bit longer at the expense of feeling stuck at home?
Thanks

I've been in a similar situation so the only advice I can give to you is save up your money and don't let your parents know of your secret funds