Dropping out of Oxford?

Okay basically I'm in a bit of a pickle, seems stupid posting on here for advice, but it seems like a good way of finding people who are or have been in the same situation in the past.

So I'm just over half way through my first term at Oxford uni, I'm studying Chemistry and I'm really not enjoying it. I don't feel like I'm the right sort of person to be here, I can't cope with just working all day every day (obviously do have some breaks but this is what it feels like), it's driving me crazy being sat at my desk spending hours trying to do work that I don't understand. I've been to all my lectures, but it's got to the point where I don't actually understand them any more, I don't understand any of the suggested books either because they're all degree level and I just can't get my head around them, they seem to explain everything in such a confusing way. I also don't enjoy the tutorials, they make me very anxious and I feel like I'm constantly being humiliated as everyone else seems so much better! The other people on my course seem to be loving it, and understand the work, but I feel like I'm doing it just to get it done, and not enjoying it at all. I rely on others to explain everything to me, and when I say everything I mean literally everything, and I feel absolutely stupid compared to my peers. I don't have time to go over lecture notes or look for explanations online, because I have so much work to do, so it seems like I have no control over my work and what's going on etc

Also, I'm the kind of person who likes going out and socializing, and I just reaaaally wanted a normal uni experience, but every time I try going out whether its to a club in the evening or literally just to have coffee with someone I get really panicky and feel guilty for not working. I know uni's mainly about getting an excellent degree, but I also want to have fun and do lots of extra curriculars and develop as a person, but instead I'm relying on phone calls with my parents and the thought of leaving and going somewhere more normal to get me through the days. I feel like theres no work life balance here, I don't have fun and quite frankly it's making me depressed which is sucking all the motivation out of me, and makes the thought of work even more unbearable! I'm really not enjoying the Chemistry because I'm just constantly confused, with no time to enjoy my work and learning new things, because I just have to rush through it and get it in for a deadline.

I know its still early and obviously I wouldn't make any decisions yet, but I'll have to reapply soon for other unis next year so I'm just hoping there might be people who've been in similar situations who either have or haven't dropped out of any uni that could shed some light on the matter, The only things stopping me from literally running home now are the fact that I wouldn't have anything to do for a year and I've made a really good friend here who's also struggling and would probably be worse without me. I just can't bare the thought of being miserable like this for the next few years, I've cried pretty much every day since I got here, and I just really want to go home!

People have said it just gets worse, especially for chemistry (1 in 20 people drop out so that says a lot), I just want to enjoy my subject and my time at uni and meet new people like me (of who I've found very few) and be able to take it at a reasonable pace. I don't want it to sound like I'm being lazy and cant be bothered, but it's just so much. I am a very hard worker but this is just ridiculous compared to what I thought it was going to be. Obviously I'm very aware of the excellent opportunities that Oxford would give me, and I'm very grateful for my place here, but is an Oxford degree really the be all and end all?

If anyone has any suggestions they'd be greatly appreciated!

Interesting read.

OP I would look at it like this.

-How hard did you work to get into Oxford?

Was it your dream uni, or did you only want to go there in terms of prestige and job opportunities?

-Is your desired course Chemistry?

Would you prefer another subject instead of it, or is Chemistry second nature to you.


If I were you, I would slog it out till Christmas break and then figure out what to do. Do not base your decision around peers. I am telling you this as a person giving genuine advice that very few people who are given the opportunity due to hard work and determination, only to pass it up because the work gets tougher and because of lack of social life.

I would try and put my head down and make the work interesting in any way you can and figure out what you want to do after that.

You can always make up for lack of social life, when you have a cushy job with a fantastic degree. You obvioulsy have the intelligence and determination to get into Oxford, so there is no reason why because you feel you can't understand the work you can't get the work if that makes sense.

Anyway best of luck to you, I hope you sort this out.

I got 4A*s so I just applied thinking that's what you're meant to do with good grades. I don't even know if it's Chemistry that's the problem. I don't know if I want to do Chemistry, and to be honest I didn't know when I applied, just kind of picked the subject that I disliked the least at school. I didn't work that hard for A levels, not like some people here that worked incredibly hard because they knew they wanted to come here. I came to the open days but that was about it really. I just really really really wish I hadn't got in.

Okay basically I'm in a bit of a pickle, seems stupid posting on here for advice, but it seems like a good way of finding people who are or have been in the same situation in the past.

So I'm just over half way through my first term at Oxford uni, I'm studying Chemistry and I'm really not enjoying it. I don't feel like I'm the right sort of person to be here, I can't cope with just working all day every day (obviously do have some breaks but this is what it feels like), it's driving me crazy being sat at my desk spending hours trying to do work that I don't understand. I've been to all my lectures, but it's got to the point where I don't actually understand them any more, I don't understand any of the suggested books either because they're all degree level and I just can't get my head around them, they seem to explain everything in such a confusing way. I also don't enjoy the tutorials, they make me very anxious and I feel like I'm constantly being humiliated as everyone else seems so much better! The other people on my course seem to be loving it, and understand the work, but I feel like I'm doing it just to get it done, and not enjoying it at all. I rely on others to explain everything to me, and when I say everything I mean literally everything, and I feel absolutely stupid compared to my peers. I don't have time to go over lecture notes or look for explanations online, because I have so much work to do, so it seems like I have no control over my work and what's going on etc

Also, I'm the kind of person who likes going out and socializing, and I just reaaaally wanted a normal uni experience, but every time I try going out whether its to a club in the evening or literally just to have coffee with someone I get really panicky and feel guilty for not working. I know uni's mainly about getting an excellent degree, but I also want to have fun and do lots of extra curriculars and develop as a person, but instead I'm relying on phone calls with my parents and the thought of leaving and going somewhere more normal to get me through the days. I feel like theres no work life balance here, I don't have fun and quite frankly it's making me depressed which is sucking all the motivation out of me, and makes the thought of work even more unbearable! I'm really not enjoying the Chemistry because I'm just constantly confused, with no time to enjoy my work and learning new things, because I just have to rush through it and get it in for a deadline.

I know its still early and obviously I wouldn't make any decisions yet, but I'll have to reapply soon for other unis next year so I'm just hoping there might be people who've been in similar situations who either have or haven't dropped out of any uni that could shed some light on the matter, The only things stopping me from literally running home now are the fact that I wouldn't have anything to do for a year and I've made a really good friend here who's also struggling and would probably be worse without me. I just can't bare the thought of being miserable like this for the next few years, I've cried pretty much every day since I got here, and I just really want to go home!

People have said it just gets worse, especially for chemistry (1 in 20 people drop out so that says a lot), I just want to enjoy my subject and my time at uni and meet new people like me (of who I've found very few) and be able to take it at a reasonable pace. I don't want it to sound like I'm being lazy and cant be bothered, but it's just so much. I am a very hard worker but this is just ridiculous compared to what I thought it was going to be. Obviously I'm very aware of the excellent opportunities that Oxford would give me, and I'm very grateful for my place here, but is an Oxford degree really the be all and end all?

If anyone has any suggestions they'd be greatly appreciated!

Firstly are you the OP, or did your name change?

I can see your viewpoint. If you are not enjoying Chem then I would do this. Drop out of Oxford but make contingency plans before you dropout such as getting work experience in relevant field and find out what you want to do. Your grades are great so you could probably apply to a lot of things. And I guess you are naturally bright then.

But yeah best of luck. Try talking to your family and see what they say. They probably know you better then anyone and will probably give you the best advice.

I hope you sort it all out and DM me anytime if you need.

EDIT - If you're heart's not in it, then you won't do as well imo. So I would find out what you want to do before you dropout because if you dropout and then don't have anything planned/don't know what you want to do - then you will be in a sticky situation.

Also just to add, I wouldn't be dropping out with no idea what to do,

I found a natural sciences course at Nottingham which is A*AA so its not like I'd be throwing away my good grades, and you can choose from a variety of pathways. One is Maths, Geography and Chemistry which are the 3 subjects I couldn't decide between to apply for, so I figured if I got there and realised I really did just like chemistry I could switch when there, and if not, you have to drop one subject after the first year, so I could always get rid of it altogether. Seems like a win win situation to me as I'm so confused subject wise

Also just to add, I wouldn't be dropping out with no idea what to do,

I found a natural sciences course at Nottingham which is A*AA so its not like I'd be throwing away my good grades, and you can choose from a variety of pathways. One is Maths, Geography and Chemistry which are the 3 subjects I couldn't decide between to apply for, so I figured if I got there and realised I really did just like chemistry I could switch when there, and if not, you have to drop one subject after the first year, so I could always get rid of it altogether. Seems like a win win situation to me as I'm so confused subject wise

Also just to add, I wouldn't be dropping out with no idea what to do,

I found a natural sciences course at Nottingham which is A*AA so its not like I'd be throwing away my good grades, and you can choose from a variety of pathways. One is Maths, Geography and Chemistry which are the 3 subjects I couldn't decide between to apply for, so I figured if I got there and realised I really did just like chemistry I could switch when there, and if not, you have to drop one subject after the first year, so I could always get rid of it altogether. Seems like a win win situation to me as I'm so confused subject wise

Okay basically I'm in a bit of a pickle, seems stupid posting on here for advice, but it seems like a good way of finding people who are or have been in the same situation in the past.

So I'm just over half way through my first term at Oxford uni, I'm studying Chemistry and I'm really not enjoying it. I don't feel like I'm the right sort of person to be here, I can't cope with just working all day every day (obviously do have some breaks but this is what it feels like), it's driving me crazy being sat at my desk spending hours trying to do work that I don't understand. I've been to all my lectures, but it's got to the point where I don't actually understand them any more, I don't understand any of the suggested books either because they're all degree level and I just can't get my head around them, they seem to explain everything in such a confusing way. I also don't enjoy the tutorials, they make me very anxious and I feel like I'm constantly being humiliated as everyone else seems so much better! The other people on my course seem to be loving it, and understand the work, but I feel like I'm doing it just to get it done, and not enjoying it at all. I rely on others to explain everything to me, and when I say everything I mean literally everything, and I feel absolutely stupid compared to my peers. I don't have time to go over lecture notes or look for explanations online, because I have so much work to do, so it seems like I have no control over my work and what's going on etc

Also, I'm the kind of person who likes going out and socializing, and I just reaaaally wanted a normal uni experience, but every time I try going out whether its to a club in the evening or literally just to have coffee with someone I get really panicky and feel guilty for not working. I know uni's mainly about getting an excellent degree, but I also want to have fun and do lots of extra curriculars and develop as a person, but instead I'm relying on phone calls with my parents and the thought of leaving and going somewhere more normal to get me through the days. I feel like theres no work life balance here, I don't have fun and quite frankly it's making me depressed which is sucking all the motivation out of me, and makes the thought of work even more unbearable! I'm really not enjoying the Chemistry because I'm just constantly confused, with no time to enjoy my work and learning new things, because I just have to rush through it and get it in for a deadline.

I know its still early and obviously I wouldn't make any decisions yet, but I'll have to reapply soon for other unis next year so I'm just hoping there might be people who've been in similar situations who either have or haven't dropped out of any uni that could shed some light on the matter, The only things stopping me from literally running home now are the fact that I wouldn't have anything to do for a year and I've made a really good friend here who's also struggling and would probably be worse without me. I just can't bare the thought of being miserable like this for the next few years, I've cried pretty much every day since I got here, and I just really want to go home!

People have said it just gets worse, especially for chemistry (1 in 20 people drop out so that says a lot), I just want to enjoy my subject and my time at uni and meet new people like me (of who I've found very few) and be able to take it at a reasonable pace. I don't want it to sound like I'm being lazy and cant be bothered, but it's just so much. I am a very hard worker but this is just ridiculous compared to what I thought it was going to be. Obviously I'm very aware of the excellent opportunities that Oxford would give me, and I'm very grateful for my place here, but is an Oxford degree really the be all and end all?

If anyone has any suggestions they'd be greatly appreciated!