This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Girls- if you give oral sex, do you 'expect' the same in return?

I'm curious about this. I give my bf oral sex practically every time we have sex as part of foreplay, but he very rarely 'returns the favour', so to speak. I have tried gently asking him for it, hinting during foreplay etc., and sometimes even gently pushing his head in that direction, as a more direct hint! Even when he does do it, it lasts for maybe a minute or so at most, whereas I feel like I give him a lot more attention in that department. He does try to excite me in other ways, but just seems very very reluctant to do any oral sex, and I am feeling a bit annoyed by it. I think he feels nervous about doing it and feels like he doesn't know how to do it 'right'; I have suggested he look up some things online to help him but he refuses. I don't know what to do anymore. Any opinions?

Reply 1

Jebedee

17

I guess the first things I should ask is are you clean.
I'm quite picky with girls I go down on and some girls I have refused to go down on but usually because they are just one night stands and not as attractive enough to be gf material.

Sounds quite selfish to flat out refuse when you ask though so maybe hold off on the blowjobs for a while and see how he likes it.

I expect it.

One night stands - Almost never

Gf - Whenever she wants, cleanness is soooooooooo important though.

No. I don't like it

I pretty much expect it even when I don't TBH. Because that's the most effective way to give me an orgasm, and any man worth his salt should be keen to do that (although if he can do it by other means then that's fine too). I do go down on guys but it's more of an extra, as they can orgasm whether I do or not. Basically I go for guys who enjoy giving, so everyone gains!

Reply 6

Queen_Victoria

2

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

No. I don't like it

Many women claim not to like it. Is it because you don't like the feel or you think it emasculates the man who's doing it; therefore you're turned off?

Also, does that mean it's just penetration and fingers for you to get off?

Reply 7

awe

14

I never expect it. I really enjoy giving it, and luckily my boyfriend loves giving it in return, but there is never a 'me first, then you' sort of agreement. He will almost always get it though, whereas sometimes I won't just because it can 'calm' things a bit when you might not want things calmer haha.

I think you should just ask him. Let him know you really enjoy it when he does do it, because then he should be more likely to want to do it. You may think you're doing that, but it isn't always apparent unless you're a very vocal responder. P: But do just ask him, there's nothing wrong with that, and if you request absolute honesty you might get some advice on something you aren't aware of for 'down there'. But I definitely think your first thing to try is just being more obvious with your literal enjoyment for receiving oral. Even if you're telling him to do it, etc, that's not quite the same as some good appreciative moaning while it's happening just to encourage him. P:

(edited 10 years ago)

yeah or kick him out

Original post by Anonymous

I pretty much expect it even when I don't TBH. Because that's the most effective way to give me an orgasm, and any man worth his salt should be keen to do that (although if he can do it by other means then that's fine too). I do go down on guys but it's more of an extra, as they can orgasm whether I do or not. Basically I go for guys who enjoy giving, so everyone gains!

How is a blow job extra!? That is basic. So, you only give if you feel like it, but he HAS to give it to you.

You come across as a selfish 'lover'.

Reply 10

zaback21

15

Original post by Anonymous

.............

Well its unfortunate that he doesn't want to go down on you. Because its totally mutual and both parties enjoy it. So if he doesn't want to go down on you, then either specifically he doesn't like going down on you or worse he has problems with it.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

I shower everyday, wash myself carefully etc, and if possible before sex I nip to the loo to freshen up with one of those 'intimate' wipes, so I like to think I'm clean, even if sometimes we'll have sex very quickly/unexpectedly and so I may not have showered since that morning or something. But I don't think I'm rank. He doesn't always taste the best either, especially in the circumstances like above where it's been a whole day since a shower etc, but I will do it since he likes it.

Reply 12

ChangeOurWorld

17

Original post by Queen_Victoria

Many women claim not to like it. Is it because you don't like the feel or you think it emasculates the man who's doing it; therefore you're turned off?

Also, does that mean it's just penetration and fingers for you to get off?

No the only reason i don't like it is because most men I've had are pretty awful at it and it saves us both the embarrassment.

I do think it's a bit unfair if they except oral and we don't get anything in return however. I'd expect something in return.

Reply 13

Tyrion_Lannister

19

Original post by Queen_Victoria

Many women claim not to like it. Is it because you don't like the feel or you think it emasculates the man who's doing it; therefore you're turned off?

Also, does that mean it's just penetration and fingers for you to get off?

Don't like the feel and the idea of it.

Yeah, prefer penetration tbh

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by awe

I never expect it. I really enjoy giving it, and luckily my boyfriend loves giving it in return, but there is never a 'me first, then you' sort of agreement. He will almost always get it though, whereas sometimes I won't just because it can 'calm' things a bit when you might not want things calmer haha.

I think you should just ask him. Let him know you really enjoy it when he does do it, because then he should be more likely to want to do it. You may think you're doing that, but it isn't always apparent unless you're a very vocal responder. P: But do just ask him, there's nothing wrong with that, and if you request absolute honesty you might get some advice on something you aren't aware of for 'down there'. But I definitely think your first thing to try is just being more obvious with your literal enjoyment for receiving oral. Even if you're telling him to do it, etc, that's not quite the same as some good appreciative moaning while it's happening just to encourage him. P:

I think I do let him know that I enjoy it when he does (rarely) do it- both in the moment and afterwards as well. I know that sex is give and take, but he knows how much I like it (because I've told him!) and yet he still doesn't do it, even when I ask. I agree that it shouldn't be an 'exchange' arrangement, but I will always give him a good session of oral sex and I get maybe 30 seconds' worth of fingering before penetrative sex. It's frustrating, and I've tried talking about it, it just doesn't seem to change.

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

I ALWAYS want it in return. He knows that oral sex only happens if we're both giving and receiving. Its a real 'thing' for us, partly because we both love it. :wink:

Reply 16

Apocrypha

15

Funny i bumped into this thread, my friend banged a girl in the room next door after a night out, we walked into the room the next morning after she left and it actually smelt of sour milk..

I think the majority of girls dont really smell or taste bad at all, the thing that puts me off though is hair, especially bristly ones.

OP are you bald down there? If not try it and ask again.

Reply 17

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

I don't like it. It doesn't feel as strong as other methods, and I find it incredibly embarrassing to have him 'down there'. Not good. But if you like it yourself then fair play, and I think it's a bit unfair of your boyfriend to refuse to do it. I mean, they don't exactly taste nice, do they!

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

Original post by Queen_Victoria

How is a blow job extra!? That is basic. So, you only give if you feel like it, but he HAS to give it to you.

You come across as a selfish 'lover'.

Hah, I thought I might. I was a bit blunt about it. I don't have a boyfriend at the moment but my exes have tended to be generous so I've been quite spoilt! When I say a blow job is "extra", I just mean that historically I have given less often than I have received. It's not because I don't care if the guy has a good time - far from it! The last guy I was with wasn't that into blow jobs so often preferred to get down to business, and I've had other partners who don't always particularly want a blow job if they'd rather go for the main event. However, it's quite difficult for me to come, and it's never from penetration alone, so I do expect a bit of attention, yes. I wouldn't be at all happy if the guy never did it. But I've tended to find that most men are pretty keen - especially the confident/dominant ones, which suits me.

There have been plenty of times during sex when I've stopped getting anything out of it/got a bit bored, but unless it's getting painful I will always keep going because I want whoever I'm with to come, and I really enjoy witnessing his pleasure. And there have still been plenty of times I've had sex without receiving any oral, but I have never once orgasmed from it. I sort of meant as a general rule, I would expect the guy to put some effort into my getting pleasure.

I probably am slightly selfish, but it's probably a result of being difficult to please sexually and the sorts of sexual partners I've had. At least I know what I want and am not afraid of it *shrug* ... some men love that.

Reply 19

Ken321

7

What? Giving girls oral is awesome.

Girls- if you give oral sex, do you 'expect' the same in return?

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you