~Grade my Int 2 Edwin Muirs Horses Essay please?
I didn't meet the teachers deadline so she was refusing to grade it for me and the exam is soon. What grade could you give this and please tell me how I can improve (I think that my conclusion is pretty weak and at times, I repeat my self.)
It's a bit too long as well so I would appreciate it if you could tell me what bits I should cut out.
The question I was answering asked something like "Chose a play with a clear message and describe how this message is conveyed"
For those who don't know, it's graded out of 25.
~~~
Edwin Muir’s Post-apocalyptic poem, “The Horses”, is a powerful and thought provoking post-apocalyptic piece that envisions the aftermath of a hypothetical nuclear war. Muir articulates the story of a world destroyed and left emaciated by nuclear war, where the few survivors live hopelessly and despondently in a desolate reality. Their outlook is changed by the arrival of the horses, a symbolic relic of the past-times which leads them to rediscover and revive humanity's covenant with nature. Through his use of compelling vocabulary and effective imagery, Muir successfully conveys the survivor’s feelings towards man’s corruption of nature as they struggle to rebuild their broken world. While resonating strongly the 7 day creation story in Genesis, the poem continuously refers to the illusionary benefits of the modern day age and, by the end, illustrates the revitalisation of a lost communion between man and nature; the two being indubitably linked with one another in the form of hope- a message apparent in the poem.
The beginning of the poem acts as an introduction and so much more; with one eloquent sentence, Muir portrays the time frame of the war and starts an effective and successful series of allegories referring to the opening chapter of the Bible, Genesis. Muir’s introduction to the world affected by the repercussion of the war is powerful, and the impact it has on the distressed and disturbed survivors is conveyed throughout. His reminiscing and jumping between the past and present provides the story with a strong backdrop as well as mimicking the language of the Bible.
“Barely a twelvemonth after
The 7 day war that put the world to sleep
Late in the evening the strange horses came”
Muir establishes the time frame of the incident; it had been just a year since the war when the “strange horses came.” Edwin Muar’s description of the war lasting “7 days” is of significant importance as it makes a direct reference to the Biblical chapter Genesis in which God creates the world in “7 days”; this clearly conveys that it took man exactly the same period of time to destroy it as it took God to create it- symbolising that, through technology, man has become too powerful and destructive. This symbolism is a great way of understanding the poem as Muir constantly plays with the idea of Man versus God and natures versus technology as well as helping the reader understand that the war has been short and brutal. By depicting the horses as “strange” without any further references to them in the opening verse shows the reader that the survivors think of them as something foreign and possibly sinister, almost like a new innovation. Muir use of euphemism by describing the world as sleeping conceals the fact that the world as we know it is being destroyed by softening the idea of the situation and making it less unforgiving. This is as if the writer is trying to cover the harshness and brutality of reality and comforting himself by saying the world is “asleep”
Muir then goes on to establish the emotions and feelings of the survivors and expresses how their attitude has changed after the nuclear war. The survivors have been living in constant silence, no one dares to speak because the war has affected and damaged everyone.
“By then we had made our covenant with silence
But in the first few days it was so still
We listened to our breathing and were afraid.”
Muir once again makes a powerful Biblical reference by making a link to the story of Noah by using the word covenant- meaning “pact with God.” The story of Noah relates perfectly to “The Horses” as Noah is set to rebuild a destroyed world. This could suggest that Muir believed humanity wasn’t behaving the way God would have liked and had become too dependent on technology; hence the nuclear war (an allegory relating to the floods) was an opportunity sent by God for the survivors to reconstruct their world and reconnect with nature (just like in Noah’s arks where Noah takes pairs of each animal with him). As one normally makes a covenant with God, their pact with silence conveys that they have had enough sorrow and grief and that they feel betrayed by God to the point where they have become stubborn and defiant in their stance. The fact that the survivors are frightened of their own breathing, something natural that represents life, signifies their fragility of mind and being. For the survivors to be scared of something as wholesome as breathing, suggests that they are scared of the idea of being alive itself as breathing symbolises life. This further illustrates the survivors as being far away from nature and life and, instead, immersed in destruction to the point where “nature” seems as something foreign and scary to them; just like the “strange” horses.
Muir then continues revealing the experiences of the survivors as he portrays their feeling of betrayal and resentment towards technology, something they had learnt to trust and rely on and something that would have once represented hope and protection in a time of war.
“On the third day a warship passed us, heading north
Dead bodies piled on the deck.”
The language of the bible is mimicked throughout the poem; just like the world was created in stages, day by day, the world is being destroyed in stages. The gruesome image of the warships depicted by Muir illustrates the trauma felt by the survivors. Although a small amount of people have survived the attack, the amount of death and destruction that happened because of the war is immense and horrific. In a way the destruction is a punishment for mankind's vanity and arrogance. Technology, thought for so long to be a development for the good of mankind, is the very thing held responsible for the cataclysm of earth; and so the survivors feel obliged to hate it. The “piled” bodies on the warship is symbolic of betrayal; the warship- a ship designed to take part in warfare on sea- is meant to help them and protect them, but instead, ironically, the ship is laden with dead bodies and therefore it has failed and is in-fact useless to them. Irony is further apparent through Muir’s use of the word “Piled” suggesting that the bodies are disregarded and shown no sympathy, being treated like useless objects and stripped of their dignity. The word choice of “piled” further creates an impression of there being too many dead bodies on the ship. The survivors have learnt to hate technology because of this.
The poem continues relating technology that has failed them, describing the survivors experience and emotions towards them in the process. Muir successfully uses imagery to portray this and conveys efficiently the feeling of hate towards the technology.
“Nothing. The radios dumb;
And still they stand in the corners of our kitchens”
Muir’s use of enjambment emphasises nothing; the survivors are completely isolated. Not only has technology failed them inconsiderably, but what is left has become seemingly sinister and could be regarded as threatening in presence. Muar’s uses personification by making the radios out to be human, suggesting that technology has become so real and so controlling, that it has been personified; this shows that the radios are a threat to the survivors. It also conveys that the radios, which once represented entertainment and news, have betrayed them like the rest of the world. They have become so paranoid in their isolation that they are blaming a petty creation for man’s problems. The fact that Muir describes them as standing “in the corner of our kitchens” further enhances the sinister atmosphere and reveals the radios uselessness to the survivors and, it is as if, the survivors are scared of them and what they represent.
Muir then reveals that the survivors have had enough; they are defiant and resilient in their stance, they will not forgive the world for what it has done to them and they feel extremely betrayed at the circumstances surrounding the war. The personification of the radios reveals that the survivors do not necessarily wish to return to the world that they have lost and the one the radios represent.
“But now if they should speak,
If on a sudden they should speak again,
If on the stroke of noon a voice should speak
We would not listen,
We would not let it bring
The old bad world that swallowed its children quick
At one great gulp. We would not have it again.”
The narrative tone of the poem changes from scared to determined, and this clearly shows the feeling of resentment towards the “useful” technology. Muir shows a change in attitude on the part of the survivors. Though the remaining technology is seemingly sinister, they are defiantly opposed to it, blaming it for not aiding them. Muir’s repetition of the word “if” builds up to the climax of the survivor’s rejection towards technology. The defiant tone and strong determination can be identified through repetition of the words “We would not”. Muir’s powerful portrayal of the world as a cannibalistic mother is a good use of personification as it shows the motherly nature of Earth as being destroyed and corrupted by technology; the survivors are conveyed as being disgusted toward this as well as revealing the negative portrayal the survivor has of the world. They are angry, and this is made apparent.
Following the devastation of the war and the survivor’s rejection of the useless technology, there is a significant turning point in the poem as the horses arrive. While before, Muir is referring to technology and the state of the world and its survivors, the coming of the horses represent something uncorrupted and natural, and, in a sense, God creation. At first, however, the survivors do not know what to do:
“Late in the summer the strange horses came
We heard a distant tapping on the road,”
Muir’s first description of the horses as “strange” reveals that that the horses are unfamiliar to the survivors and therefore they are unable to trust something foreign and different. Having relied on technology for so long now suggests that they no longer know how to use nature to survive. The sound of the horses “tapping”- which is onomatopoeia- creates a tense atmosphere as the survivors begin to fear their arrival.
The narrative and tone of the poem changes toward the last few versus as Muir makes it clear that the horses have been sent to assist the survivors and are, in fact, not to be feared. They come to represent a fresh new start for the survivors and a closer communion with nature.
“Yet they waited
Stubborn and shy, as if they had been sent
By an old command to find our whereabouts”
By describing the horses as “stubborn and shy”, Muir effectively illustrates that the survivors now see the horses in a different light; instead of appearing threatening to them, the survivors begin to see them as humble. This causes the poem’s tone to change into a more hopeful and optimistic one. By suggesting that they have been sent by “an old command” once again links to the religious imagery- signifying that they have been sent by God to help them- this continues the theme of God vs man, nature vs technology. The horses represent a return to the old way of life which has long since been lost. The horses represent a fresh start and a chance to rebuild their broken, destroyed world.
As the poem comes to an end, Muir further emphasises on the importance of the horses and how they have come to represent a new, better world for the survivors. The horses appear to represent an opportunity for the survivors to rebuild their lives following the loss of their old way of life. Despite such a tense and frightening atmosphere early on in the poem, it ends on a positive note.
“Dropped in some wilderness of the broken world
Yet new as if they had come from their own Eden.
…Our life is changed; their coming our beginning.”
The horses represent a better way of life for the survivors. The reference to the Biblical Garden of Eden is significant as it conveys the horses as ethereal and heavenly while also further alluding to God. The word “Eden” is substantial as it represents the world as it was envisioned by God, a perfect world before man had been able to destroy it. The reference also suggests that the survivors have cut off their link with technology and are, instead, ready to start a new relationship with nature and build their own “Eden”. The arrival of the horses represent this opportunity, their “coming” marks a new “beginning” for the survivors and a fresh new start for the world.
In conclusion, “The Horses” by Edwin Muir resonates powerfully a strong message of hope. Despite the survivor’s pain and suffering life and their rejection of technology, Muir makes it clear that the destruction of the world represents the potential for a fresh, new start (aided by the horses seemingly sent by God)- one where man and nature can reconnect and rebuild a world better than the one that was lost.
Thanks
It's a bit too long as well so I would appreciate it if you could tell me what bits I should cut out.
The question I was answering asked something like "Chose a play with a clear message and describe how this message is conveyed"
For those who don't know, it's graded out of 25.
~~~
Edwin Muir’s Post-apocalyptic poem, “The Horses”, is a powerful and thought provoking post-apocalyptic piece that envisions the aftermath of a hypothetical nuclear war. Muir articulates the story of a world destroyed and left emaciated by nuclear war, where the few survivors live hopelessly and despondently in a desolate reality. Their outlook is changed by the arrival of the horses, a symbolic relic of the past-times which leads them to rediscover and revive humanity's covenant with nature. Through his use of compelling vocabulary and effective imagery, Muir successfully conveys the survivor’s feelings towards man’s corruption of nature as they struggle to rebuild their broken world. While resonating strongly the 7 day creation story in Genesis, the poem continuously refers to the illusionary benefits of the modern day age and, by the end, illustrates the revitalisation of a lost communion between man and nature; the two being indubitably linked with one another in the form of hope- a message apparent in the poem.
The beginning of the poem acts as an introduction and so much more; with one eloquent sentence, Muir portrays the time frame of the war and starts an effective and successful series of allegories referring to the opening chapter of the Bible, Genesis. Muir’s introduction to the world affected by the repercussion of the war is powerful, and the impact it has on the distressed and disturbed survivors is conveyed throughout. His reminiscing and jumping between the past and present provides the story with a strong backdrop as well as mimicking the language of the Bible.
“Barely a twelvemonth after
The 7 day war that put the world to sleep
Late in the evening the strange horses came”
Muir establishes the time frame of the incident; it had been just a year since the war when the “strange horses came.” Edwin Muar’s description of the war lasting “7 days” is of significant importance as it makes a direct reference to the Biblical chapter Genesis in which God creates the world in “7 days”; this clearly conveys that it took man exactly the same period of time to destroy it as it took God to create it- symbolising that, through technology, man has become too powerful and destructive. This symbolism is a great way of understanding the poem as Muir constantly plays with the idea of Man versus God and natures versus technology as well as helping the reader understand that the war has been short and brutal. By depicting the horses as “strange” without any further references to them in the opening verse shows the reader that the survivors think of them as something foreign and possibly sinister, almost like a new innovation. Muir use of euphemism by describing the world as sleeping conceals the fact that the world as we know it is being destroyed by softening the idea of the situation and making it less unforgiving. This is as if the writer is trying to cover the harshness and brutality of reality and comforting himself by saying the world is “asleep”
Muir then goes on to establish the emotions and feelings of the survivors and expresses how their attitude has changed after the nuclear war. The survivors have been living in constant silence, no one dares to speak because the war has affected and damaged everyone.
“By then we had made our covenant with silence
But in the first few days it was so still
We listened to our breathing and were afraid.”
Muir once again makes a powerful Biblical reference by making a link to the story of Noah by using the word covenant- meaning “pact with God.” The story of Noah relates perfectly to “The Horses” as Noah is set to rebuild a destroyed world. This could suggest that Muir believed humanity wasn’t behaving the way God would have liked and had become too dependent on technology; hence the nuclear war (an allegory relating to the floods) was an opportunity sent by God for the survivors to reconstruct their world and reconnect with nature (just like in Noah’s arks where Noah takes pairs of each animal with him). As one normally makes a covenant with God, their pact with silence conveys that they have had enough sorrow and grief and that they feel betrayed by God to the point where they have become stubborn and defiant in their stance. The fact that the survivors are frightened of their own breathing, something natural that represents life, signifies their fragility of mind and being. For the survivors to be scared of something as wholesome as breathing, suggests that they are scared of the idea of being alive itself as breathing symbolises life. This further illustrates the survivors as being far away from nature and life and, instead, immersed in destruction to the point where “nature” seems as something foreign and scary to them; just like the “strange” horses.
Muir then continues revealing the experiences of the survivors as he portrays their feeling of betrayal and resentment towards technology, something they had learnt to trust and rely on and something that would have once represented hope and protection in a time of war.
“On the third day a warship passed us, heading north
Dead bodies piled on the deck.”
The language of the bible is mimicked throughout the poem; just like the world was created in stages, day by day, the world is being destroyed in stages. The gruesome image of the warships depicted by Muir illustrates the trauma felt by the survivors. Although a small amount of people have survived the attack, the amount of death and destruction that happened because of the war is immense and horrific. In a way the destruction is a punishment for mankind's vanity and arrogance. Technology, thought for so long to be a development for the good of mankind, is the very thing held responsible for the cataclysm of earth; and so the survivors feel obliged to hate it. The “piled” bodies on the warship is symbolic of betrayal; the warship- a ship designed to take part in warfare on sea- is meant to help them and protect them, but instead, ironically, the ship is laden with dead bodies and therefore it has failed and is in-fact useless to them. Irony is further apparent through Muir’s use of the word “Piled” suggesting that the bodies are disregarded and shown no sympathy, being treated like useless objects and stripped of their dignity. The word choice of “piled” further creates an impression of there being too many dead bodies on the ship. The survivors have learnt to hate technology because of this.
The poem continues relating technology that has failed them, describing the survivors experience and emotions towards them in the process. Muir successfully uses imagery to portray this and conveys efficiently the feeling of hate towards the technology.
“Nothing. The radios dumb;
And still they stand in the corners of our kitchens”
Muir’s use of enjambment emphasises nothing; the survivors are completely isolated. Not only has technology failed them inconsiderably, but what is left has become seemingly sinister and could be regarded as threatening in presence. Muar’s uses personification by making the radios out to be human, suggesting that technology has become so real and so controlling, that it has been personified; this shows that the radios are a threat to the survivors. It also conveys that the radios, which once represented entertainment and news, have betrayed them like the rest of the world. They have become so paranoid in their isolation that they are blaming a petty creation for man’s problems. The fact that Muir describes them as standing “in the corner of our kitchens” further enhances the sinister atmosphere and reveals the radios uselessness to the survivors and, it is as if, the survivors are scared of them and what they represent.
Muir then reveals that the survivors have had enough; they are defiant and resilient in their stance, they will not forgive the world for what it has done to them and they feel extremely betrayed at the circumstances surrounding the war. The personification of the radios reveals that the survivors do not necessarily wish to return to the world that they have lost and the one the radios represent.
“But now if they should speak,
If on a sudden they should speak again,
If on the stroke of noon a voice should speak
We would not listen,
We would not let it bring
The old bad world that swallowed its children quick
At one great gulp. We would not have it again.”
The narrative tone of the poem changes from scared to determined, and this clearly shows the feeling of resentment towards the “useful” technology. Muir shows a change in attitude on the part of the survivors. Though the remaining technology is seemingly sinister, they are defiantly opposed to it, blaming it for not aiding them. Muir’s repetition of the word “if” builds up to the climax of the survivor’s rejection towards technology. The defiant tone and strong determination can be identified through repetition of the words “We would not”. Muir’s powerful portrayal of the world as a cannibalistic mother is a good use of personification as it shows the motherly nature of Earth as being destroyed and corrupted by technology; the survivors are conveyed as being disgusted toward this as well as revealing the negative portrayal the survivor has of the world. They are angry, and this is made apparent.
Following the devastation of the war and the survivor’s rejection of the useless technology, there is a significant turning point in the poem as the horses arrive. While before, Muir is referring to technology and the state of the world and its survivors, the coming of the horses represent something uncorrupted and natural, and, in a sense, God creation. At first, however, the survivors do not know what to do:
“Late in the summer the strange horses came
We heard a distant tapping on the road,”
Muir’s first description of the horses as “strange” reveals that that the horses are unfamiliar to the survivors and therefore they are unable to trust something foreign and different. Having relied on technology for so long now suggests that they no longer know how to use nature to survive. The sound of the horses “tapping”- which is onomatopoeia- creates a tense atmosphere as the survivors begin to fear their arrival.
The narrative and tone of the poem changes toward the last few versus as Muir makes it clear that the horses have been sent to assist the survivors and are, in fact, not to be feared. They come to represent a fresh new start for the survivors and a closer communion with nature.
“Yet they waited
Stubborn and shy, as if they had been sent
By an old command to find our whereabouts”
By describing the horses as “stubborn and shy”, Muir effectively illustrates that the survivors now see the horses in a different light; instead of appearing threatening to them, the survivors begin to see them as humble. This causes the poem’s tone to change into a more hopeful and optimistic one. By suggesting that they have been sent by “an old command” once again links to the religious imagery- signifying that they have been sent by God to help them- this continues the theme of God vs man, nature vs technology. The horses represent a return to the old way of life which has long since been lost. The horses represent a fresh start and a chance to rebuild their broken, destroyed world.
As the poem comes to an end, Muir further emphasises on the importance of the horses and how they have come to represent a new, better world for the survivors. The horses appear to represent an opportunity for the survivors to rebuild their lives following the loss of their old way of life. Despite such a tense and frightening atmosphere early on in the poem, it ends on a positive note.
“Dropped in some wilderness of the broken world
Yet new as if they had come from their own Eden.
…Our life is changed; their coming our beginning.”
The horses represent a better way of life for the survivors. The reference to the Biblical Garden of Eden is significant as it conveys the horses as ethereal and heavenly while also further alluding to God. The word “Eden” is substantial as it represents the world as it was envisioned by God, a perfect world before man had been able to destroy it. The reference also suggests that the survivors have cut off their link with technology and are, instead, ready to start a new relationship with nature and build their own “Eden”. The arrival of the horses represent this opportunity, their “coming” marks a new “beginning” for the survivors and a fresh new start for the world.
In conclusion, “The Horses” by Edwin Muir resonates powerfully a strong message of hope. Despite the survivor’s pain and suffering life and their rejection of technology, Muir makes it clear that the destruction of the world represents the potential for a fresh, new start (aided by the horses seemingly sent by God)- one where man and nature can reconnect and rebuild a world better than the one that was lost.
Thanks
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by DeshiBumLicks
I didn't meet the teachers deadline so she was refusing to grade it for me and the exam is soon. What grade could you give this and please tell me how I can improve (I think that my conclusion is pretty weak and at times, I repeat my self.)
It's a bit too long as well so I would appreciate it if you could tell me what bits I should cut out.
The question I was answering asked something like "Chose a play with a clear message and describe how this message is conveyed"
For those who don't know, it's graded out of 25.
Thanks
It's a bit too long as well so I would appreciate it if you could tell me what bits I should cut out.
The question I was answering asked something like "Chose a play with a clear message and describe how this message is conveyed"
For those who don't know, it's graded out of 25.
Thanks
Is this an actual piece of work that will count towards your grade, or just a practice that you've tried for the exam...?
I'm a little concerned about plagiarism.
Hi there,
I would say this easily falls into the 21-25 category. To go on the safe side, I'd it could be a 21. I do the Horses at Higher so obviously I have to include an extra amount of evaluation but I think this perfectly fits a 21 and is similar to an essay I got a 21 for with the notes that with a little extra evaluation it could be a 23.
If you're concerned about length then I would suggest trying to write it within 45 minutes from memory. If you can manage it then I don't think you need to cut anything out. Personally, I don't include the warship or the horses waiting sections but everything else I use.
Certainly an excellent essay in my eyes, well done
~Jacka
I would say this easily falls into the 21-25 category. To go on the safe side, I'd it could be a 21. I do the Horses at Higher so obviously I have to include an extra amount of evaluation but I think this perfectly fits a 21 and is similar to an essay I got a 21 for with the notes that with a little extra evaluation it could be a 23.
If you're concerned about length then I would suggest trying to write it within 45 minutes from memory. If you can manage it then I don't think you need to cut anything out. Personally, I don't include the warship or the horses waiting sections but everything else I use.
Certainly an excellent essay in my eyes, well done
~Jacka
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