English Language AQA GCSE Exam 3rd June 2014 Discussion

are we allowed to write in the 15 minutes reading time, in our answer booklets or on the articles insert?

Hey there,

Well done - you communicate in a clear way and generally identify the purpose and audience - though sometimes it doesn't feel as if you're writing to an authoritative person. There is a range of material and all points are developed, with fluent links between paragraphs being employed. You use a variety of punctuation, which accurate almost throughout, and - occasionally - a more sophisticated choice of vocabulary.

For improvements, I'd say watch your tone, just slightly, try to include some more ambitious vocabulary and try to be a little bit more subtle.

I would give this Band 3, 7 marks for content - though I contemplated about giving this a 6 instead - and 5 for accuracy due to the punctuation mistakes (but that is probably harsh). Hence, 12/16 .

Hope it helps!

are we allowed to write in the 15 minutes reading time, in our answer booklets or on the articles insert?

Could someone mark this please. (Gonna give rep to them and to the person who initially provided the question.) This piece took me 22 minutes on a computer with spell check, and it's slightly repetative. Thanks in advance.

You’ve just had a meeting with the school council and would like some changes to be
made.
Write a letter to the governors of your school informing them of the changes you would
like, explaining the reasons for these changes.
(16 marks)

Dear Governors,
I am writing in order to inform you of the recently discussed issues, which have been brought up in our meetings. I am writing with the fervent hope that you may eliminate these issues, and bring around the needed renaissance.
Firstly, I would like to make you aware of the atrocious state of our canteen. I understand if you are not aware of this, but to bring down the obesity rate in children we should impose more sport, not provide food which is immediately regurgitated. Now, I understand that it is hard to keep the canteen clean, as part of the problem is the student’s attitude. However, surely there could be a way to have food supplied which is not overdue or reeking of the harsh disinfectant that is used to clean the dishes.

Another issue which I would like to raise is the constant changing of teachers. This carousel like rotation system leaves not only the student but also the staff, with a weak relationship and understanding of each other. Do you want our grades to go down? As a student currently taking my GCSEs, I fully understand the importance of diversity, and benefit of a variety of teaching styles. But you are taking away one of our needs as a human: the need for constancy and predictability. Without these I am afraid that staff may feel a lack of comprehension about each student’s individual needs and learning abilities. As our school motto states ‘community comes first’.

Thirdly, it has come to our attention that the front school garden is being occupied by two large skips. We realise that the staff room is receiving some TLC, but would it be possible to refrain from it disrupting the students. Many in the past have frequently enjoyed the green prosperity of the garden, with its abundance of the majestic pigeon, and the comfort of being ‘at one with the nature’. However, now we have arrived back from our half term to find our winged friends gone, and the grass cut up with tyre tracks: like earthquake induced cracks. All that we are imploring for you to do is to instigate for the trucks to remove the skip to another place, and provide us with the tools to revive our sanctuary. Already, we have a gargantuan list of volunteers.

Overall, we are asking for the simple courtesy of a sanitary canteen; a sense of stability from constant teachers; and the removal of those tin boxes from our garden of Eden. I hope that you instigate these changes as soon as possible, and I thank you for reading this. As ever: ‘community comes first.’

Yours sincerely,
Aleks D,
A concerned student.

That's really helpful, thanks a lot! I did question 6 as well I hope you don't mind taking a look at that



Q6) 'Young people today are the unhealthiest of the world'
Write a text for a local radio programme on physical fitness to persuade young people to become fitter.

Attention young people of today! I appreciate you tuning in (even though you could be exercising right now). Today's broadcast is one that I feel extremely passionate about - the physical well-being of those of you under sixteen young years of age. Please listen attentively.Fabulous tone - engaging and well suited to the audience!

It is essential to exercise for at least 30 short minutes a day in order to live a healthy lifestyle. 22% of England's population isolate themselves, in their rooms, and are cooped up for the whole week. Isn't that curiously crazy? It has been proven by London's top scientists that without even that much exercise a week, the chances of heart cancer increase by doubletwo. All you need to do is stay active for 30 minutes, that's 1800 seconds, and your lifespan could stretch to its potential.Good, you use facts well, but just try to be a bit more pushy with persuade, as it's lapsing into argue

The key to being fit (and attractive for that matter) is not just to exercise, but to follow a healthy diet as well. Binging is a common habit amongst youngsters across the UK and one that should be gradually cut out of your lifestyle. The top athletes across this nation, such as Andy Murray eat extremely healthily. Do they snack on rubbish such as crisps and chocolate which contain more salt than seawater? Think again*Short sentence for effect. Eat three meals a day and you could be taking the court to Wimbledon and lifting a trophy for your nation, O*Incorrect capitalisationr instead you could continue to eat the way you are, and completely ignore this announcement just like an uneducated fool would.Good - you're persuading more here and the techniques are really coming through.

It was just last week that I opened my fridge door and was about to opt for the chocolate mousse. But instead of cramming my insides with 613 calories of pure filth, I looked in the mirror and then threw that mousse straight into the bin. What I'm trying to say is, not only will you feel better, think better and run better, but you will also look better*Repetition for effect. What comes with becoming fit is a toned body, and one that will help your cause with the opposite sex massively. Becoming fitter will give you the body you need to shoot your self-confidence levels through the roof! It will give you the life you've dreamed of ever since you were in play-school. Well, maybe not play-school...you get what I'm trying to say.Good - focused on task

I firmly believe that exercising, eating well and not binging like an obese sloth, will give you the physical fitness that drives you into the next stage of your life; the best stage of your life. Make a few small sacrifices and you will become a big success. "I'm fit" is something only 17% of England can assuredly say, so join me in that percentage. Start your healthy lifestyle today.
______________________________________________________________
I really appreciate your help you mark better than my teachers. I have a couple more questions I hope you can answer for me as well if that's OK :

1) I have a solid A in my controlled assessment (68/80), how many marks out of 80 will I need in the exam to a) get an A? b) get an A*?

2) Like you said for my question 5 answer, I should've used longer, better words. Do you have a list of some of these words with their meanings? And can you put them into context?
Thanks so much man.

A great piece - you consistently match the audience, convincingly match the style and clearly identify the purpose (B3/4), you engage the reader with a range of material and it is developed (B3) and occasionally include some finer details (low B4). There is a clear use of linguistic features, though it could be more subtle and more persuasive features could be used (B3), along with a successful choice of vocabulary (B3). Although there are a few punctuation faults, you do attempt to use a range of punctuation and you include a variety of sentence structures.

You achieve all of Band 3 and some parts of Band 4 (for content), so I would give you a 13 for content and, due to the punctuation mistakes, I would give a 6/7 for the accuracy, though I would go for the 6. Hence, 19/24 marks.

Aha, thanks, I appreciate that comment - hopefully, in the future, my students will say the same

Well, I'll go by the November 2013 boundaries, as I think they're quite reasonable:

Unit 3:

You got 68/80, which is equivalent to 101 UMS.

Unit 1:

So, an A requires you to have 240 UMS overall, which means that you need to obtain (240 - 101 =) 139 UMS in the exam.

Since last year's exams were out of 120 UMS, let's convert this to UMS out of 120:

$\frac{139}{180} \times 120 = 93$

93 UMS last year would be achieved by 53 marks. Hence, I would say getting 54-55 marks in the exam will secure it for you.

For an A*:

You need 270 UMS overall, which means you'd need (270-101=) 169 UMS in the exam. So let's convert this to UMS out of 120, so we can judge by last year's boundaries:

$\frac{169}{180} \times 120 = 113$

113 UMS last year would be achieved by 64 marks. So, I would say getting about 65/66 marks in the exam would secure that for you.

Hence overall:

You need 53 (though I would say 54-55) marks for an A overall or 64 (but 65/66 to be on the safe-side) marks for an A*. Obviously, this depends on if the boundaries stay the same.

Hope it helps

Dear Governors,

I am writing in order to inform you of the recently discussed issues, which have been brought up in our meetings. I am writing with the fervent hope that you may eliminate these issues, and bring around the needed renaissance.

Firstly, I would like to make you aware of the atrocious state of our canteen. I understand if you are not aware of this, but to bring down the obesity rate in children we should impose more sport, not provide food which is immediately regurgitated. Now, I understand that it is hard to keep the canteen clean, as part of the problem is the student’s attitude. However, surely there could be a way to have food supplied which is not overdue or reeking of the harsh disinfectant that is used to clean the dishes.A good paragraphthough I'm not too sure on your vocabulary use, with 'regurgitated', for example.

Another issue which I would like to raise is the constant changing of teachers. This carousel-like rotation system leaves not only the student but also the staff, with a weak relationship and understanding of each other.*Convincing description of the problem Do you want our grades to go down? As a student currently taking my GCSEs, I fully understand the importance of diversity, and benefit of a variety of teaching styles. But you are taking away one of our needs as a human: the need for constancy and predictability. Without these I am afraid that staff may feel a lack of comprehension about each student’s individual needs and learning abilities. As our school motto states ‘community comes first’.*Incorrect punctuation use, as without a comma somewhere in there, it's just a subordinate clause, and they can't stand alone.This, however, is a good paragraph with the correct tone and a clear employment of linguistic techniques

Thirdly, it has come to our attention that the front school garden is being occupied by two large skips. We realise that the staff room is receiving some TLC, but would it be possible to refrain from it disrupting the students*There should be a question mark here . Many in the past have frequently enjoyed the green prosperity of the garden, with its abundance of the majestic pigeon, and the comfort of being ‘at one with the nature’. However, now we have arrived back from our half term to find our winged friends gone, and the grass cut up with tyre tracks: like earthquake induced cracks. All that we are imploring for you to do is to instigate for the trucks to remove the skip to another place, and provide us with the tools to revive our sanctuary. Already, we have a gargantuan list of volunteers.Great! Just be sure to be careful with punctuation, like with the question mark and the use of the colon

Overall, we are asking for the simple courtesy of a sanitary canteen; a sense of stability from constant teachers; and the removal of those tin boxes from our garden of Eden. I hope that you instigate these changes as soon as possible, and I thank you for reading this. As ever: ‘community comes first.’I like the ending

Yours sincerely,
Aleks D,
A concerned student.

Would it be worth putting an address at the top for a letter or would that be too pedantic?

Thanks again for your great help

Are you starting with Section B? and is there any chance you could answer my 2nd question? I'll write it again just in case you missed it:

2) Like you said for my question 5 answer, I should've used longer, better words. Do you have a list of some of these words with their meanings? And can you put them into context?
Thanks so much man.

I need this question answering aswell. In the examiners report for one year it said 'some students attempted a letter frame but the majority failed' so I have no clue if it gets you makrs. Can anybody answer this question? ^^^

I got 63 on my coursework for English Language. I wanted to know how many marks it was on the paper to get a C and a B overall. English is my worst subject!

Sorry, I totally forgot about that question, but - yes - I do. My teacher gave us this file, so I'll attach it here.

I need this question answering aswell. In the examiners report for one year it said 'some students attempted a letter frame but the majority failed' so I have no clue if it gets you makrs. Can anybody answer this question? ^^^