Why is this the social stereotype for 'loser'?
Original post by Smiley face. YAY
I'm a 23 year old male, never had a paid job, left college at 19 doing useless course, never had a girlfriend, never had sex, never kissed, still live with my Mum
your thoughts.... go....
your thoughts.... go....
Not to say you are one OP, at all (rather you sound situationally depressed, so
) you re not a loser, this is some nasty stereotype. We all progress in different ways at different times and we all have something that makes us unique and meaningful. You may just not have found it yet 
)I'm curious what narrative we are told to be led, like OP, to believe this is failure.
To deconstruct
'23 and
•
never had a paid job
•
left college at 19 doing useless course
•
never had a girlfriend
•
never had sex
•
never been kissed
•
still live with my mum
Why are all these things so bad? I mean
1) Why is our self-worth dependent on whether we have been in a relationship or lost our virginity?
2) Who exactly is well-off enough to scold anyone who just can't afford to move out in the current economic climate?
3) something something qualifications the paper makes the man?
Curious
(edited 9 years ago)
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
Not to say you are one OP, at all (rather you sound situationally depressed, so ) you re not a loser, this is some nasty stereotype. We all progress in different ways at different times and we all have something that makes us unique and meaningful. You may just not have found it yet )
I'm curious what narrative we are told to be led, like OP, to believe this is failure.
To deconstruct
'23 and
Why are all these things so bad? I mean
1) Why is our self-worth dependent on whether we have been in a relationship or lost our virginity?
2) Who exactly is well-off enough to scold anyone who just can't afford to move out in the current economic climate?
3) something something qualifications the paper makes the man?
Curious
) you re not a loser, this is some nasty stereotype. We all progress in different ways at different times and we all have something that makes us unique and meaningful. You may just not have found it yet )I'm curious what narrative we are told to be led, like OP, to believe this is failure.
To deconstruct
'23 and
•
never had a paid job
•
left college at 19 doing useless course
•
never had a girlfriend
•
never had sex
•
never been kissed
•
still live with my mum
Why are all these things so bad? I mean
1) Why is our self-worth dependent on whether we have been in a relationship or lost our virginity?
2) Who exactly is well-off enough to scold anyone who just can't afford to move out in the current economic climate?
3) something something qualifications the paper makes the man?
Curious
You shouldn't have a problem with stereotypes since you stereotype on this forum yourself.
Original post by Catholic_
You shouldn't have a problem with stereotypes since you stereotype on this forum yourself.
I do? Can you please explain?
Actually I don't like them, there are only a few which I use as a shorthand for subjects I don't completely understand at present :/
It's not curious at all. Financial independence and having a serious relationship are the basis for being an adult.
It's not so different from animals in the wild. The infants learn techniques of survival from their parents so they can become independent from them and produce their own offspring. If an adult gorilla was still dependent on its parents, there'd be a problem. we're not so different. there are certain stepping stones we have to take to get to the next stage of life.
It's not so different from animals in the wild. The infants learn techniques of survival from their parents so they can become independent from them and produce their own offspring. If an adult gorilla was still dependent on its parents, there'd be a problem. we're not so different. there are certain stepping stones we have to take to get to the next stage of life.
(edited 9 years ago)
If you take these things to be what denotes a loser and despite your best efforts you cannot change them, then yeah. You're a loser. It's not hard to change this stuff if you have enough aptitude and willpower.
The most worrying thing for me is that people are simple enough to hear others say "x is bad" and instantly think "damn they're right I rly suck". Letting your selfworth be defined by arbitrary and subjective tick boxes like "I have a good job" is foolish.
The most worrying thing for me is that people are simple enough to hear others say "x is bad" and instantly think "damn they're right I rly suck". Letting your selfworth be defined by arbitrary and subjective tick boxes like "I have a good job" is foolish.
I know this is going to come across as harsh but what the hell:
A Loser suggests that there are winners and so the definition requires comparison to others. Compared to what I would percieve an average 23year old to achieve.. This person would have 'lost' in that comparison and therefore could be defined as a 'Loser'.
A Loser suggests that there are winners and so the definition requires comparison to others. Compared to what I would percieve an average 23year old to achieve.. This person would have 'lost' in that comparison and therefore could be defined as a 'Loser'.
Original post by Reue
I know this is going to come across as harsh but what the hell:
A Loser suggests that there are winners and so the definition requires comparison to others. Compared to what I would percieve an average 23year old to achieve.. This person would have 'lost' in that comparison and therefore could be defined as a 'Loser'.
A Loser suggests that there are winners and so the definition requires comparison to others. Compared to what I would percieve an average 23year old to achieve.. This person would have 'lost' in that comparison and therefore could be defined as a 'Loser'.
This is it.
They're people who have failed in achieving presumably what they want to achieve, i.e., the things that are valued by society, in comparison with the average person; e.g., love, recognition, sex, social status, wealth, independence, etc.
A little deeper than that we can say that society makes implicit value judgements on what are and are not worthwhile achievements. It might be that the person in question does not care about any of the things on that list of examples, but chances are they do, and those are what society respects.
Original post by Reue
I know this is going to come across as harsh but what the hell:
A Loser suggests that there are winners and so the definition requires comparison to others. Compared to what I would percieve an average 23year old to achieve.. This person would have 'lost' in that comparison and therefore could be defined as a 'Loser'.
A Loser suggests that there are winners and so the definition requires comparison to others. Compared to what I would percieve an average 23year old to achieve.. This person would have 'lost' in that comparison and therefore could be defined as a 'Loser'.
Haha fair enough
What would you expect of the average 23 year old then?Original post by Kaiju
If you take these things to be what denotes a loser and despite your best efforts you cannot change them, then yeah. You're a loser. It's not hard to change this stuff if you have enough aptitude and willpower.
The most worrying thing for me is that people are simple enough to hear others say "x is bad" and instantly think "damn they're right I rly suck". Letting your selfworth be defined by arbitrary and subjective tick boxes like "I have a good job" is foolish.
The most worrying thing for me is that people are simple enough to hear others say "x is bad" and instantly think "damn they're right I rly suck". Letting your selfworth be defined by arbitrary and subjective tick boxes like "I have a good job" is foolish.
isn't this an extension of h8rs gonna h8?
Idk I just wonder if it's a bit narcissistic to make up a value system entirely your own so as not to be judged in comparison to others with equal opportunity and ability to you
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
Haha fair enough What would you expect of the average 23 year old then?
What would you expect of the average 23 year old then?Employed
Had a girlfriend
Not dropped out of college
Had sex
Not living with parents
In order of importance, top to bottom.
Original post by Catholic_
You shouldn't have a problem with stereotypes since you stereotype on this forum yourself.
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
I do? Can you please explain?
Actually I don't like them, there are only a few which I use as a shorthand for subjects I don't completely understand at present :/
Actually I don't like them, there are only a few which I use as a shorthand for subjects I don't completely understand at present :/
bump!
Original post by Reue
Employed
Had a girlfriend
Not dropped out of college
Had sex
Not living with parents
In order of importance, top to bottom.
Had a girlfriend
Not dropped out of college
Had sex
Not living with parents
In order of importance, top to bottom.
fair enough, thanks for your input
Original post by miser
This is it.
They're people who have failed in achieving presumably what they want to achieve, i.e., the things that are valued by society, in comparison with the average person; e.g., love, recognition, sex, social status, wealth, independence, etc.
A little deeper than that we can say that society makes implicit value judgements on what are and are not worthwhile achievements. It might be that the person in question does not care about any of the things on that list of examples, but chances are they do, and those are what society respects.
They're people who have failed in achieving presumably what they want to achieve, i.e., the things that are valued by society, in comparison with the average person; e.g., love, recognition, sex, social status, wealth, independence, etc.
A little deeper than that we can say that society makes implicit value judgements on what are and are not worthwhile achievements. It might be that the person in question does not care about any of the things on that list of examples, but chances are they do, and those are what society respects.
Should we value what society values, as a whole, for survival purposes and assimilation at very least? Goes back to my asking Kaiju if it's narcissistic to create your own value system for protection from judgment
Original post by sherlockfan
It's not curious at all. Financial independence and having a serious relationship are the basis for being an adult.
It's not so different from animals in the wild. The infants learn techniques of survival from their parents so they can become independent from them and produce their own offspring. If an adult gorilla was still dependent on its parents, there'd be a problem. we're not so different. there are certain stepping stones we have to take to get to the next stage of life.
It's not so different from animals in the wild. The infants learn techniques of survival from their parents so they can become independent from them and produce their own offspring. If an adult gorilla was still dependent on its parents, there'd be a problem. we're not so different. there are certain stepping stones we have to take to get to the next stage of life.
so you don't feel that it's possible to be a fulfilled adult without having had a serious relationship?
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
Idk I just wonder if it's a bit narcissistic to make up a value system entirely your own so as not to be judged in comparison to others with equal opportunity and ability to you
I wouldn't argue with this. I'm sort of a fringe example though.
I don't see narcissism as a negative, at least in terms of excessive self-interest - in a world where the only person you can be sure is truly looking out for you is yourself, not placing yourself as nr1 seems counterproductive.
Disagree with the red on grounds that comparison to anyone else is irrelevant. The only person who can decide whether you've truly failed at life is yourself.
(presuming you didn't tell people "I'm going to do X before Y" and then messed up, where it's easy to see that u fkd up)
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
so you don't feel that it's possible to be a fulfilled adult without having had a serious relationship?
Not really no. Human beings have a basic need to be loved.
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
Should we value what society values, as a whole, for survival purposes and assimilation at very least? Goes back to my asking Kaiju if it's narcissistic to create your own value system for protection from judgment
On this subject I'd say: don't accept it completely; don't reject it completely. People often say things like, "you shouldn't care what other people think of you." That's not good advice and isn't realistic in my opinion. I would say something a little less catchy, which is, "you should care what people think to the degree that it affects you." So yes, I'd say you should be accommodating of society's values to the degree that it's helpful to do that, but also work out what you yourself value. There's a middle-ground between being uncompromisingly contentions and a meek sheep.
But note that I said be accommodating of society's values - you don't have to actually value these things yourself.
Original post by sherlockfan
Not really no. Human beings have a basic need to be loved.
Disagree.
Or I'm not human; that's possible too.
Original post by M !
Disagree.
Or I'm not human; that's possible too.
Or I'm not human; that's possible too.
Youre not human then
Its been proven that people who form meaningful relationships live longer.
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