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Please I am a handsome guy but I can't get girls I'm very shy to approach them

Please I am a handsome guy but I can't get girls I'm very shy to approach them. Please what can I do to do away with this fear inorder to get a girl friend
Reply 1
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
Generally the desire to get what you want becomes a big enough incentive to have a go. Unfortunately there is no easy answer, it’s about taking a risk and trying things outside your comfort zone. Being good looking, if your self assessment is correct, is an advantage though, you might be met half way and suffer a few less rejections along the way
Reply 2
Avatar for the bear
the bear
20
95% of success with the Ladies is down to body language. forget about cheesy dialogue and pick up lines.
work on your non verbal comms.
you can also buy pheromone sprays which will attract females without them knowing why.
Original post by Ayew30
Please I am a handsome guy but I can't get girls I'm very shy to approach them. Please what can I do to do away with this fear inorder to get a girl friend


If you are a handsome guy as in above average looks then you wouldn't have to approach them, they would approach you shy or not. My guess is that you are everyday looking and that generally adds no bonus to attracting women. If you are shy/introvert as in not great socially particularly with women then that will put a lot of women off you, hence why you don't have a woman.

I would say you need a big positive to offset that, gym bod, wealth, etc or be left waiting around a long time.
Reply 4
Avatar for Teresa09
Teresa09
10
If you really like them then just go with your gut instinct and talk to them because if I works it means you’re supposed to be together but if it doesn’t it means you’re not.this probably isn’t what you want to hear from me just be careful about who they are because you could either be really happy with them or they could break your heart just don’t build you hopes up before you talk to them.

I hope this helps.


I know exactly how this feels I’m a similar situation that you are in so if you want to talk privately about this or about a certain topic or whatever just dm me.
Original post by Ayew30
Please I am a handsome guy but I can't get girls I'm very shy to approach them. Please what can I do to do away with this fear inorder to get a girl friend


You've answered your own problem... work on your shyness!

As a (presumably) straight guy, then shyness will be more detrimental to you than any other "type" of person (e.g. girls, gay guys etc.), as it's your job to make the initial approach. This is how things work, ok... and no amount of moaning "Boo Hoo, Why don't girls approach guys blah blah blah etc." :cry::nopity::cry2: will change that. So the onus is on you to take charge of it.

I would suggest you research something called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). It's not an overnight fix, but it does work if you're committed to it. To give you a heads up, it involves taking baby steps out of your comfort zone to confront your fears, phobias (N.B. In this context, shyness or social anxiety can be considered a fear / phobia). It's something you can derive a training program yourself if you wanted to.

To get you started, what's going to realistically happen if you approach a girl? The worst that can happen is that she's not interested and gives some excuse (e.g. the old "My boyfriend's over there" line). I know you probably hear horror stories of really harsh rejections (e.g. "f**k off, loser", or maybe even being pushed), but normally that's because of the way the guy has approached her (e.g. groping her on the dancefloor, opening with a cheesy chat-up line, talking to her chest etc.). If you just approach with a smile and a simple, "Hey, how's it going?", the worst you'll probably get is a "Thanks, but no thanks" type rejection. If so, get a shot down your face, and find the next girl.

Ignore the Anonymous post, it's very rare for girls to approach guys, even if the guy is very good looking. The most they'll do is put themselves in a position where you're likely to notice them and / or display obvious signs of attraction / interest. At the end of the day, it's still your responsibility to actually approach them... but at least you know your approach is likely to be well received (as opposed to uncertainty of a complete "cold" approach).

Apart from that, just don't be too put off by rejections. Happens to all of us, but as that old saying goes, "if you take enough shots at a goal, you're going to score eventually."
(edited 5 months ago)
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Reply 7
Avatar for idkm
idkm
4
Original post by Ayew30
Please I am a handsome guy but I can't get girls I'm very shy to approach them. Please what can I do to do away with this fear inorder to get a girl friend

I’m going through the same thing right now but I am slowly getting out of this just be friendly relaxed break the barrier but learn through friendship. That way you will know which women best suits you.
Reply 8
Avatar for Ayew30
Ayew30
OP
3
Original post by Zarek
Generally the desire to get what you want becomes a big enough incentive to have a go. Unfortunately there is no easy answer, it’s about taking a risk and trying things outside your comfort zone. Being good looking, if your self assessment is correct, is an advantage though, you might be met half way and suffer a few less rejections along the way

Thank you so much for such a kind advice
Reply 9
Avatar for Ayew30
Ayew30
OP
3
Original post by Teresa09
If you really like them then just go with your gut instinct and talk to them because if I works it means you’re supposed to be together but if it doesn’t it means you’re not.this probably isn’t what you want to hear from me just be careful about who they are because you could either be really happy with them or they could break your heart just don’t build you hopes up before you talk to them.

I hope this helps.


I know exactly how this feels I’m a similar situation that you are in so if you want to talk privately about this or about a certain topic or whatever just dm me.

Thank you for the advice
Original post by Ayew30
Please I am a handsome guy but I can't get girls I'm very shy to approach them. Please what can I do to do away with this fear inorder to get a girl friend

The best way to start is to become their friend or get to know them a bit. Don't suddenly ask to go out with them because they may not like that. If you are casual around them they will feel more comfortable. If you get to know them a bit and decide you don't actually like their character it's not to late! The whole process takes time.
Hold on a second, what about the rest of us who offered you advice (in between random French conversations lol) , don't we get a thank you?!? 😕

More importantly, it's been over 4 months since you posted this, what have you done to improve since then? What's changed?

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