Choose to move to France to live with my boyfriend or accept Graduate Scheme job?
I was wondering if anyone could help me. I am in such a difficult situation and I just don't know what to do. I am a 22 year old girl just about to graduate from university in London this Summer with a degree in Business. I am moving to Montpellier in France in March to live with my boyfriend (we have flown back and forth to visit each other in Montpellier and London for the past year). I am in love with Montpellier and I love my boyfriend so much- I can't live without him. I can't wait to move there, but in graduating university I have also been offered an amazing job in London in an official graduate scheme. I applied for the graduate scheme just because I know its what a lot of students try to do after university, but never thought I'd actually get through all the stages and get the job. As I'm sure you all know, grad schemes are competitive and this job is good money, but my boyfriend has said that he couldn't do the long distance for any longer than a year, and that would mean us breaking up if I didn't move to Montpellier. He has his own business there and plays rugby so he can't just get up and leave and live here, whereas I'll have just finished university with a fresh life.
I speak very little French but I am going to a French school in the summer and plan on putting my everything into immersing myself in life in Montpellier, and hopefully finding the best job possible. I already have friends in Montpellier through my boyfriend and it is like a second home, but this job offer back in London is making me second guess my choices.
I feel so lost and I just don't know what to do. What if I move to France and it doesn't work out and I've turned down this job? But its so beautiful in the south of France, hot, sunny, with a better quality life. This is the guy I see myself being with and having family with but I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be so appreciated you have no idea
I speak very little French but I am going to a French school in the summer and plan on putting my everything into immersing myself in life in Montpellier, and hopefully finding the best job possible. I already have friends in Montpellier through my boyfriend and it is like a second home, but this job offer back in London is making me second guess my choices.
I feel so lost and I just don't know what to do. What if I move to France and it doesn't work out and I've turned down this job? But its so beautiful in the south of France, hot, sunny, with a better quality life. This is the guy I see myself being with and having family with but I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be so appreciated you have no idea
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A graduate scheme is ****ing hard to come by considering the amount of applicants. You seriously can't turn this opportunity down, take the job
Original post by Swanbow
I'd take the job, see if I enjoyed it, and just maintain a long distance relationship for around 8 months to see how I feel.
Thanks for the advice, but that's the problem. My boyfriend has already said he couldn't do the long distance for any longer because we already have flown back and forth for the past year every 2 weeks- its so hard. Especially if I was to be working monday to friday, sometimes finishing at 8.30 at night on Fridays- I'd be flying to spend just one day with him and vice versa.
I have to decide either or, and I know if I choose the job I will spend my time in this job heartbroken.
Original post by Loafing.Charizard
A graduate scheme is ****ing hard to come by considering the amount of applicants. You seriously can't turn this opportunity down, take the job
Thanks so much for the advice, and I know. I remember on the assessment day there were about 50 of us and that was just one day- there were about 7 assessment days. But I know that I don't think I want to live with my parents, in expensive London, on a dirty tube travelling to work every day paying thousands on travel when I can be happy in the south of France with the person I love- maybe on less money... but does that matter? I don't know how I will ever be able to make this decision
I don't know, it's not really a choice between a great job or your boyfriend... It's a choice between a great job and your boyfriend&probably a good job and new opportunities around there... It's your choice sure but you've invested years and feelings in him and you feel like you could share a life together, why throw it all away? I'd say it's better to earn a lot together than earn a ****pile of money alone (if you're happy in the relationship and you seem to be so)
It depends how hot he is. If he is a 9 or 10 out of 10 definitely choose him. If he's any less than a 7 go with the graduate scheme.
Original post by TheEccentric
It depends how hot he is. If he is a 9 or 10 out of 10 definitely choose him. If he's any less than a 7 go with the graduate scheme.
He's 10/10.. model material! Which isn't the most important thing but it certainly doesn't help!
Original post by bethany-x-
I was wondering if anyone could help me. I am in such a difficult situation and I just don't know what to do. I am a 22 year old girl just about to graduate from university in London this Summer with a degree in Business. I am moving to Montpellier in France in March to live with my boyfriend (we have flown back and forth to visit each other in Montpellier and London for the past year). I am in love with Montpellier and I love my boyfriend so much- I can't live without him. I can't wait to move there, but in graduating university I have also been offered an amazing job in London in an official graduate scheme. I applied for the graduate scheme just because I know its what a lot of students try to do after university, but never thought I'd actually get through all the stages and get the job. As I'm sure you all know, grad schemes are competitive and this job is good money, but my boyfriend has said that he couldn't do the long distance for any longer than a year, and that would mean us breaking up if I didn't move to Montpellier. He has his own business there and plays rugby so he can't just get up and leave and live here, whereas I'll have just finished university with a fresh life.
I speak very little French but I am going to a French school in the summer and plan on putting my everything into immersing myself in life in Montpellier, and hopefully finding the best job possible. I already have friends in Montpellier through my boyfriend and it is like a second home, but this job offer back in London is making me second guess my choices.
I feel so lost and I just don't know what to do. What if I move to France and it doesn't work out and I've turned down this job? But its so beautiful in the south of France, hot, sunny, with a better quality life. This is the guy I see myself being with and having family with but I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be so appreciated you have no idea
I speak very little French but I am going to a French school in the summer and plan on putting my everything into immersing myself in life in Montpellier, and hopefully finding the best job possible. I already have friends in Montpellier through my boyfriend and it is like a second home, but this job offer back in London is making me second guess my choices.
I feel so lost and I just don't know what to do. What if I move to France and it doesn't work out and I've turned down this job? But its so beautiful in the south of France, hot, sunny, with a better quality life. This is the guy I see myself being with and having family with but I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be so appreciated you have no idea
Sounds to me you already made your choice and you are now asking us to validate it.
He said he can do the LDR for a year. So take the job, work for a year, if you still are in love with your bf after a year and he turns out to be alright, leave the job and go to France. So you will have a) money from the job b) experience from the job c) a bf waiting for you
Take your cake and eat it.
Original post by Juichiro
Sounds to me you already made your choice and you are now asking us to validate it.
He said he can do the LDR for a year. So take the job, work for a year, if you still are in love with your bf after a year and he turns out to be alright, leave the job and go to France. So you will have a) money from the job b) experience from the job c) a bf waiting for you
Take your cake and eat it.
He said he can do the LDR for a year. So take the job, work for a year, if you still are in love with your bf after a year and he turns out to be alright, leave the job and go to France. So you will have a) money from the job b) experience from the job c) a bf waiting for you
Take your cake and eat it.
Thiiiis.
Original post by Juichiro
Sounds to me you already made your choice and you are now asking us to validate it.
He said he can do the LDR for a year. So take the job, work for a year, if you still are in love with your bf after a year and he turns out to be alright, leave the job and go to France. So you will have a) money from the job b) experience from the job c) a bf waiting for you
Take your cake and eat it.
He said he can do the LDR for a year. So take the job, work for a year, if you still are in love with your bf after a year and he turns out to be alright, leave the job and go to France. So you will have a) money from the job b) experience from the job c) a bf waiting for you
Take your cake and eat it.
Thanks so much for the advice
but I think you mis-read my thread just a little. I said that he said he can't do the long distance for longer than a year (because we have already done it for a year), so he means after this summer if I didn't move there he couldn't do it any longer. And to be honest neither could i, I love him too much it's too hard. Even now we are in the middle of the two week gap of not seeing each other, so I had a crying session on the phone to him because its too hard- if i was working in a full time job seeing him just once every 2 weeks for just one day, it would be impossibleAnd also, this may seem irrelivent, but what makes me so sure of how important this guy is, is the fact of last summer. We met on holiday by chance, I gave him my Facebook (but it was the wrong one because I was drunk - stupid me), but then the next night we bumped into each other again randomly in the street. He took my number this time and the rest is then history. That same summer I went on holiday to Croatia with a group of girlfriends, and he got in contact with them without me knowing and drove 11 hours from Montpellier to Croatia and surprised me at the front row of a concert we were at (incase you are wondering why he drove- there were no flights left to that destination). Who else am i going to meet who would ever do anything as romantic as that ever again?
Of course from then on, we have flown back and forth from London and Montpellier for the past year.
Of course from then on, we have flown back and forth from London and Montpellier for the past year.
Original post by lolaaks
You seem to have made your mind up already, however what will you if it doesnt work out when you move?
No job AND no boyfriend?
can you handle that? a double loss?
No job AND no boyfriend?
can you handle that? a double loss?
Double loss can happen anyway. Graduate schemes only last a year or 2. So after the end of it, she would have no job and no love. She can have love experience of work experience. I think we already know what experience she wants.
Take the job.
Initially i would say in this modern age, all relationships between people under 30 crumble within 5 years.
If youve known him less than 2 years, take the job definitely. Guaranteeing your future is far more important.
Plus, absence makes the heart fonder. (it is VERY true.)
Do you want him to start accusing you of living off him?
Do you want him to start resenting you for taking up a lot of his time being unproductive.
What about in 10 years when you divorce, what do you have that you can call your own?
Take the job.
Initially i would say in this modern age, all relationships between people under 30 crumble within 5 years.
If youve known him less than 2 years, take the job definitely. Guaranteeing your future is far more important.
Plus, absence makes the heart fonder. (it is VERY true.)
Do you want him to start accusing you of living off him?
Do you want him to start resenting you for taking up a lot of his time being unproductive.
What about in 10 years when you divorce, what do you have that you can call your own?
Take the job.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Juichiro
Double loss can happen anyway. Graduate schemes only last a year or 2. So after the end of it, she would have no job and no love. She can have love experience of work experience. I think we already know what experience she wants.
It can, but her job is certain for that time frame (most often promote you /give you good exit options), if she moves and its **** within say 2months she has neither.
i also asked her, i wanted to offer a differing opinion to 'take a chance on love' she was in the thread a few minutes ago.
I almost didnt take a job where i had to move because of my then boyfriend, i took the job we did long distance and then i realized he wasnt for me and neither was the job. i now have a better offer on both fronts.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Number1Nolanite
Take the job.
Initially i would say in this modern age, all relationships between people under 30 crumble within 5 years.
If youve known him less than 2 years, take the job definitely. Guaranteeing your future is far more important.
Plus, absence makes the heart fonder. (it is VERY true.)
Do you want him to start accusing you of living off him?
Do you want him to start resenting you for taking up a lot of his time being unproductive.
What about in 10 years when you divorce, what do you have that you can call your own?
Take the job.
Initially i would say in this modern age, all relationships between people under 30 crumble within 5 years.
If youve known him less than 2 years, take the job definitely. Guaranteeing your future is far more important.
Plus, absence makes the heart fonder. (it is VERY true.)
Do you want him to start accusing you of living off him?
Do you want him to start resenting you for taking up a lot of his time being unproductive.
What about in 10 years when you divorce, what do you have that you can call your own?
Take the job.
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