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EE advice

Ok so my topic is Enviromental Systems but I'm not sure if my research question really goes with that so I'm look for some advice. Is this question any good:

What have been the effects of deforestation in the Amazonian Rainforest on the world's history and ecology?

And this is my introductory paragraph so far:

So am I on the right track?

Reply 1

HMSChocolate

frankly, I would not be writing the introduction right now. The introduction is MUCH better left off until the end to write (I know, a bit of an oxymoron). write the actual point of the essay first, like what points/arguments you've come up with during your research. during the writing, you might find that your essay title shifts a bit, which is fine.

because you're supposed to state briefly the conclusions of your essay in the introduction, it's better if you've written the body first so that you know what conclusions you will reach.

though looking at your question, I think it's a bit too broad. I mean, deforestations have A LOT of effects, especially on history and ecology. I would pick a specific country instead of the world, to be honest.

Reply 2

dan

Topic is, as HMS said, too broard.

Your argument in the introduction is, how can i put it, quite simple and not very well constructed. I suggest you have a look at the criteria for the Extended Essay and re-evaluate your opening paragraph :wink:

Good luck!

Reply 3

dannygator8498

Ok thanks for the advice :biggrin:

I revised the question, would this sound better or is it still broad? :

What have been the effects and causes of deforestation in the Amazonian Rainforest on South America's history and ecology and can anything be done to save it?

Reply 4

HMSChocolate

Still too broad because you added the "anything can be done" part. I'd do the effects and the solutions only, but even then I have a feeling it's still not narrow enough. It seriously depends on what kind of resources you have to write this essay on.

and your intro, BTW, sounds a bit too general. you have limited number of words so your intro have to give the main points of the essay. You're asking too many questions in your intro (which is not the point. The questions go into your research title/question). Your intro is supposed to state (very briefly) what the main effects actually are, which you would elaborate more on later in the essay. Which is why the intro is much better left off till after you finish the bulk of the essay to write.

Reply 5

dannygator8498

So this would be better:

What have been the effects and causes of deforestation in the Amazonian Rainforest on South America's ecology?

And I can write on ways of saving the rainforest later on in the essay, right? I'm just worried that I won't be able to get 3,000 words out of it :-p

Reply 6

HMSChocolate

'causes and effects' not 'effects and causes'. causes always comes before effects. :p:

Reply 7

Deus

""You see there is only one constant. One universal. It is the only real truth. Causality. Action, reaction. Cause and effect. ""

Reply 8

andy_cole2

see a teacher, the people on here have never seen the marking criteria for environmental systems IMO that question is still way to broad. bearing in mind this is a science subject i'm suprised your not encouraged to do something in which experimentation is possible, or maybe you are and you don't know it yet, see a teacher.

Reply 9

HMSChocolate

andy_cole2

see a teacher, the people on here have never seen the marking criteria for environmental systems

good point. yeah, best advice comes from teacher. not many people here do ES EEs.

that question is still way to broad

looking back at it, yeah, I think so too. Sth America is still rather broad. try a specific country.

bearing in mind this is a science subject i'm suprised your not encouraged to do something in which experimentation is possible, or maybe you are and you don't know it yet, see a teacher.