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Crushes make me miserable and depressed Watch

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    Hi

    I had a crush that lasted about 1 year. I had never felt so bad for a girl. She became one of my best friends, then I started to have a crush on her and she rejected me. We stayed friends for a while after but I cut her out of my life about 6 months ago. She had a pretty bad temper sometimes and what I accepted from her when I thought I had a chance with her I couldn't accept it after she rejected me.

    Anyway, I met another girl a few months later. Right from the start I knew I could easily like her. She became a good friend of mine too. It's a stupid idea to be friends with a crush but it's not like I really had the choice. Basically those 2 girls I met them with a group of friends and they kind of joined us.

    I invited her to my place yesterday evening with another (female, not that it really matters) mutual friend. They slept there and we had a really fun weekend. But now that she's gone, I don't feel so great. It's like the other crush, she will never want to date me. I just know it. Should I tell her all that, even though she will most likely reject me, just like the other girl? I was in the exact same situation 2 years ago with her and I still don't know after all that time if it was a good idea to tell her or not. It didn't do any harm but it didn't help me at all either. If I tell her it will be the same. She will say no and we will probably stay friends until I decide it's not worth it to feel so bad just to keep 1 friend and cut her out of my life.

    Thank you
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    Noone?

    I think I have 3 options:
    1. I don't tell her. I'll feel like **** till I find someone else (it could take years) or till I cut her out of my life
    2. I tell her. She will say no (99.9%) and best case scenario we stay friends. Worst we don't. Or miraculously she says yes (0.1%)
    3. I tell the other girl I invited too this weekend. I know her way better and I'm more comfortable around her. She knows the girl well, she would tell me what I should do. But she can't keep a secret so she'll tell her...
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    Just tell her yourself.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi

    I had a crush that lasted about 1 year. I had never felt so bad for a girl. She became one of my best friends, then I started to have a crush on her and she rejected me. We stayed friends for a while after but I cut her out of my life about 6 months ago. She had a pretty bad temper sometimes and what I accepted from her when I thought I had a chance with her I couldn't accept it after she rejected me.

    Anyway, I met another girl a few months later. Right from the start I knew I could easily like her. She became a good friend of mine too. It's a stupid idea to be friends with a crush but it's not like I really had the choice. Basically those 2 girls I met them with a group of friends and they kind of joined us.

    I invited her to my place yesterday evening with another (female, not that it really matters) mutual friend. They slept there and we had a really fun weekend. But now that she's gone, I don't feel so great. It's like the other crush, she will never want to date me. I just know it. Should I tell her all that, even though she will most likely reject me, just like the other girl? I was in the exact same situation 2 years ago with her and I still don't know after all that time if it was a good idea to tell her or not. It didn't do any harm but it didn't help me at all either. If I tell her it will be the same. She will say no and we will probably stay friends until I decide it's not worth it to feel so bad just to keep 1 friend and cut her out of my life.
    Thank you
    I've been in that situaton before. We must be twins or something... Learn from your mistakes. If you feel that you're just "good friends" with a girl, then that's all you will be. I'm afraid when you get too close to a girl, the window of opportunity is getting smaller and smaller. If you keep doing friend things with her, you've confined yourself to the "friendzone". I suggest you keep the friendship but stay distant a bit, I feel that telling her will only result in the same outcome. Tell her and the friendship is dead.

    2 years ago I lost a friend because she rejected me and this time I didn't ask out another girl who also happens to be my friend. We're still friends to this day and i don't have any feelings for her anymore.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    I've been in that situaton before. We must be twins or something... Learn from your mistakes. If you feel that you're just "good friends" with a girl, then that's all you will be. I'm afraid when you get too close to a girl, the window of opportunity is getting smaller and smaller. If you keep doing friend things with her, you've confined yourself to the "friendzone". I suggest you keep the friendship but stay distant a bit, I feel that telling her will only result in the same outcome. Tell her and the friendship is dead.

    2 years ago I lost a friend because she rejected me and this time I didn't ask out another girl who also happens to be my friend. We're still friends to this day and i don't have any feelings for her anymore.
    Thank you for your story. I'm glad you managed to stay friends with a crush. I know how hard it is! Do you know why you don't have feelings for her anymore?

    I understand but for the friendzone thing I think it's too late. When we were together this weekend she asked me if I would go to her place if she invited me (we live quite far away from each other). She made the effort to come so of course I said yes because I'm willing to do the same (there will be other people, not just her and me). She also asked me if I would be interested in going abroad in November with them (the 2 girls). If I'm not friendzoned already I don't know what it is! What would you do? I do want to go to her place and then abroad with them but... That's not really 'staying distant' though is it?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you for your story. I'm glad you managed to stay friends with a crush. I know how hard it is! Do you know why you don't have feelings for her anymore?

    I understand but for the friendzone thing I think it's too late. When we were together this weekend she asked me if I would go to her place if she invited me (we live quite far away from each other). She made the effort to come so of course I said yes because I'm willing to do the same (there will be other people, not just her and me). She also asked me if I would be interested in going abroad in November with them (the 2 girls). If I'm not friendzoned already I don't know what it is! What would you do? I do want to go to her place and then abroad with them but... That's not really 'staying distant' though is it?
    It's because we kinda drifted apart. We're not at uni anymore so I don't see her now. We talk on FB/text every now and then but without the contact and seeing her, the feelings slowly dissipated.

    The thing is mate, you've just left it way too long. How long have you known this girl? Few months? A year? Tbh if you've developed a crush on her after you become good friends it's too late, if it was before you should have acted back then so it's also too late. People on TSR will tell you to "go for it" but I've been through the heartbreak before and it's not nice. I do feel for you and I want you to keep your friendship.

    Personally I wouldn't get too close with her. You could go on holiday, but stop going to her house lol. If you like a girl and she likes you, you'd go to her house to have a bit of fun :sexface: Anything else is just what friends do. Perhaps if you stop giving her attention she will see what she misses. But please don't do that just to play games, value your friendship Keep in contact but don't get too close, it's for your own good.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    It's because we kinda drifted apart. We're not at uni anymore so I don't see her now. We talk on FB/text every now and then but without the contact and seeing her, the feelings slowly dissipated.

    The thing is mate, you've just left it way too long. How long have you known this girl? Few months? A year? Tbh if you've developed a crush on her after you become good friends it's too late, if it was before you should have acted back then so it's also too late. People on TSR will tell you to "go for it" but I've been through the heartbreak before and it's not nice. I do feel for you and I want you to keep your friendship.

    Personally I wouldn't get too close with her. You could go on holiday, but stop going to her house lol. If you like a girl and she likes you, you'd go to her house to have a bit of fun :sexface: Anything else is just what friends do. Perhaps if you stop giving her attention she will see what she misses. But please don't do that just to play games, value your friendship Keep in contact but don't get too close, it's for your own good.
    Oh I see! It definitely helps if you stop seeing the girl. That's good since at least you were able to keep your friendship!

    The girl is the twin sister of one of my friends... I moved out in June and her sister lived in the city I moved in. I guess he talked to her about me because she added me on FB. I saw her for the first time a couple of weeks later, in July. I agree but I don't see what else I could have done tbh. She invited me 3 or 4 times and I went all the time because it was the only way for me to see her. It doesn't help that she's my friend's twin sister...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh I see! It definitely helps if you stop seeing the girl. That's good since at least you were able to keep your friendship!

    The girl is the twin sister of one of my friends... I moved out in June and her sister lived in the city I moved in. I guess he talked to her about me because she added me on FB. I saw her for the first time a couple of weeks later, in July. I agree but I don't see what else I could have done tbh. She invited me 3 or 4 times and I went all the time because it was the only way for me to see her. It doesn't help that she's my friend's twin sister...
    Well I guess just stay friends tbh, would be a bit weird dating your mate's sister but that's just how I see it, personally.

    As I said, don't attach yourself too much for this girl... Get too attached and you'll be pulled deeper into the friendzone lol.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    Well I guess just stay friends tbh, would be a bit weird dating your mate's sister but that's just how I see it, personally.

    As I said, don't attach yourself too much for this girl... Get too attached and you'll be pulled deeper into the friendzone lol.
    Doesn't really matter to me that she's my friend's sister but I think that could be awkward.

    Ok thanks, I will def try that. But it's easier said than done
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