Can you change your sexual imprinting / preferences (not LGBT related)
For all of my life, I have been ugly, low in social status. You can add poverty to the list too after adulthood. I have never had a girlfriend or "sex" not paid for and it's not really possible at all to even try because I can't even get aroused.
This is not because there is anything physically wrong with me at present, full spectrum blood hormone testing a few years back did show low testosterone (brain based, ie secondary, rather than primary, ie sexual organs), but medication solved that. cialis also had the desired physical effect, though it gives me a headache. i felt nothing inside during intercourse. I came, and I went.
It's simply that I have fetishes related to female domination / humiliation / pain. When I see an attractive girl, aside from the fetish impulses, I mostly just want to hug her like a teddy bear / pet and never let go. Normal loving sex not simply does not arouses me but makes me incredibly sad because I am unworthy.
I believe this is due to undesirable sexual imprinting during puberty. As the only time any attractive girl spoke to me at all in school was to make fun of me or make her disgust known, for example being sat next to in a new seating plan. There were no interactions with anyone attractive that were pleasant or loving, no cues indicative of desire, no touching, no kissing, no blowjobs, no sex.
Nothing in my later life has changed that. Though I am going back to university next month to retrain a different field. So i hope I will have more money in the future, which will raise my social status and allow procedures such as cosmetic dentistry to be funded, literally making me less ugly and allowing me to smile, which I have not done for the past 10 years.
But all of this will come to nothing if it is not possible to be aroused by normal sex. It is not just about physical copulation, but also relationships, both amorous and platonic. If sex is out of the equation, then things like going out / on the pull becomes pointless. Without any kind of sexual interaction, "banter" becomes non-existent. Going through life post-puberty without sex is like a 2D shape from Flatland attempting to navigate 3D Legoland, it is but a poor facsimile.
This is not because there is anything physically wrong with me at present, full spectrum blood hormone testing a few years back did show low testosterone (brain based, ie secondary, rather than primary, ie sexual organs), but medication solved that. cialis also had the desired physical effect, though it gives me a headache. i felt nothing inside during intercourse. I came, and I went.
It's simply that I have fetishes related to female domination / humiliation / pain. When I see an attractive girl, aside from the fetish impulses, I mostly just want to hug her like a teddy bear / pet and never let go. Normal loving sex not simply does not arouses me but makes me incredibly sad because I am unworthy.
I believe this is due to undesirable sexual imprinting during puberty. As the only time any attractive girl spoke to me at all in school was to make fun of me or make her disgust known, for example being sat next to in a new seating plan. There were no interactions with anyone attractive that were pleasant or loving, no cues indicative of desire, no touching, no kissing, no blowjobs, no sex.
Nothing in my later life has changed that. Though I am going back to university next month to retrain a different field. So i hope I will have more money in the future, which will raise my social status and allow procedures such as cosmetic dentistry to be funded, literally making me less ugly and allowing me to smile, which I have not done for the past 10 years.
But all of this will come to nothing if it is not possible to be aroused by normal sex. It is not just about physical copulation, but also relationships, both amorous and platonic. If sex is out of the equation, then things like going out / on the pull becomes pointless. Without any kind of sexual interaction, "banter" becomes non-existent. Going through life post-puberty without sex is like a 2D shape from Flatland attempting to navigate 3D Legoland, it is but a poor facsimile.
(edited 6 years ago)
What the **** is this.
Try no fap
Original post by Hugo Stiglitz
What the **** is this.
Any real advice?
There's different things people are aroused by. I almost get turned off by the slow "romantic" sex. Thankfully my boyfriend is into the same things as I am so we have no problem there but I've had sex with someone who was all vanilla and I was just waiting for him to be done since I was really bored of it.
So I don't think there's anything specifically wrong with that.
So I don't think there's anything specifically wrong with that.
Original post by Devify
There's different things people are aroused by. I almost get turned off by the slow "romantic" sex. Thankfully my boyfriend is into the same things as I am so we have no problem there but I've had sex with someone who was all vanilla and I was just waiting for him to be done since I was really bored of it.
So I don't think there's anything specifically wrong with that.
So I don't think there's anything specifically wrong with that.
Right, but the problem is that sex, in as sexual intercourse doesn't arouse me. That's a problem. I feel like I'm violating a flower, because I am unworthy. I guess it's the complete opposite of a rapist, I would be terrible at rape.
If normal sex doesn't do anything, then things like going out to clubs or flirting etc becomes essentially pointless. It only leads to disappointment and misery.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- What are your thoughts on rainbow washing?
- 𝐆𝐚𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧
- How do I come out as Bi to my friends/family?
- LGBT
- would you date a guy…
- LGBTQ+ Q and A Thread
- Being black (Somali), gay and Muslim
- Am I a lesbian or just traumatised?
- Preferred name
- LGBT+ Chat XIII
- hard time with gender and sexuality stuff
- do you shave your anus?
- Can I trust my bisexual boy friend to have any friends
- I’m straight but only watch lesbian porn
- How is the gay scence at Aber University?
- How to meet someone as a gay male teen
- struggling with my sexuality as i grow up
- is epq useful at all?
- gay/bi muslims
- What is it like as a bisexual guy at University?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about