Need advice on a guy I like

Okay so 2 years ago I met a guy that was really into me at the time but 16 year old me didn't notice so we kinda drifted for a bit because he thought that I didn't like him but I honestly didn't know he liked me.
Anyway, last summer he had a girlfriend for a bit and then they broke up. He came to me for help as it was a really bad break up for him. It was getting to the point where he was suicidal and I was there the whole time. Feelings gradually came to me and he said he was into me at the time so we were good. Then we drifted again when school started but I found out he had a new girlfriend which didn't make me feel great.
But yeah you guessed it, he came back to me when they broke up and I was extremely hesitant at first so I was blunt to him. Ever since we have been on and off seeing each other but I am not sure if he is just stringing me along until he finds someone new...
Someone help me with this :smile:

Reply 1

username4055638

11

Hey, sorry to hear about this.
My friend is going through something similar. The guy she likes treats her like a therapist rather than a friend. I would recommend just trying to distance yourself even though it is hard because he's going to be quite dependant on you and that will stress you out and damage you emotionally and mentally. If he does like you in a romantic way he will tell you eventually but if he doesn't your feelings will go away. It may seem very hard to ignore him but you can do it. Don't let anyone take advantage of you like that. 💗

Reply 2

username3981416

17

Original post by ZainabJassim

Hey, sorry to hear about this.
My friend is going through something similar. The guy she likes treats her like a therapist rather than a friend. I would recommend just trying to distance yourself even though it is hard because he's going to be quite dependant on you and that will stress you out and damage you emotionally and mentally. If he does like you in a romantic way he will tell you eventually but if he doesn't your feelings will go away. It may seem very hard to ignore him but you can do it. Don't let anyone take advantage of you like that. 💗

agreed^

leave him
even when in your busy he should make an effort to talk to you
he seems to only talk to you when he "needs" you
YOUR WORTH MORE THAN THAT X

Aelin x

Reply 3

Neverspark7776

13

Is he the sort of guy that makes the first move? If so I'm a bit confused why he's not said anything unless he thinks you've friendzoned him which you obviously haven't. If he's like me and doesn't really like to make many moves (I'm a bit antisocial though) then he's probably waiting for you to say something. Just work it into a conversation, you obviously get along so just be truthful and hope he says yes. However be aware of the other peeps here who say he may be using you as a therapist - if he still doesn't seem to like you but comes to you for help then it's probably time to take his training wheels (you) off and let him find out how he should deal with life on his own.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ZainabJassim

Hey, sorry to hear about this.
My friend is going through something similar. The guy she likes treats her like a therapist rather than a friend. I would recommend just trying to distance yourself even though it is hard because he's going to be quite dependant on you and that will stress you out and damage you emotionally and mentally. If he does like you in a romantic way he will tell you eventually but if he doesn't your feelings will go away. It may seem very hard to ignore him but you can do it. Don't let anyone take advantage of you like that. 💗

You're so right, this is so cute thank you!! It's going to be hard for me because I like fixing people if that makes sense and the fact that hes always there...

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by AelinSardothein

agreed^

leave him
even when in your busy he should make an effort to talk to you
he seems to only talk to you when he "needs" you
YOUR WORTH MORE THAN THAT X

Aelin x

Hey Aelin, this means so much thank you!!x

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Neverspark7776

Is he the sort of guy that makes the first move? If so I'm a bit confused why he's not said anything unless he thinks you've friendzoned him which you obviously haven't. If he's like me and doesn't really like to make many moves (I'm a bit antisocial though) then he's probably waiting for you to say something. Just work it into a conversation, you obviously get along so just be truthful and hope he says yes. However be aware of the other peeps here who say he may be using you as a therapist - if he still doesn't seem to like you but comes to you for help then it's probably time to take his training wheels (you) off and let him find out how he should deal with life on his own.

He has said that he likes me and has tried it on me so many times... I have said I liked him once but its not something we say often to each other. However I wouldn't be surprised if he was waiting for me to speak about my feelings because I am not one to voice them as I think if I did that he would be with me then leave then we wouldnt be friends. If that were to happen I would be scared of him being alone :frown:

Reply 7

username3981416

17

Original post by Anonymous

Hey Aelin, this means so much thank you!!x

glad my 2 pence worth of **** helps someone hahaha

your welcome x
feel free to message me btw anytime for anything you ever need x

Reply 8

Neverspark7776

13

Original post by Anonymous

He has said that he likes me and has tried it on me so many times... I have said I liked him once but its not something we say often to each other. However I wouldn't be surprised if he was waiting for me to speak about my feelings because I am not one to voice them as I think if I did that he would be with me then leave then we wouldnt be friends. If that were to happen I would be scared of him being alone :frown:

I'd say just say what you feel and if he starts to pull away then, if anything, try to act like you're over it while directing him to some professional help. If he can't be left alone for at least a few months if not a year without suicidal feelings then in all honesty a therapist may be the better option here as most of the time, a friend is not always substitute for someone who can give him professional help. If he ends up with another girlfriend after you've talked to him, then breaks up and runs back to you then you may want to try and give him tips on how to stay in a relationship long-term, and if the cycle keeps continuing find an end point on your own after a while. Honestly this one's a hard one and I'm not a physchoanalyst, but good luck anyway

Reply 9

username3941996

22

Original post by abbie4216

This is such good advice and honestly i might have to just leave him on his own to see if he copes... Thank you so much for your help x

Don’t let him continue to mess with your feelings. Be strong and let him deal with his problems. You’ll find someone soon. 😊

Reply 10

cheesecakelove

20

It sounds like he just turns to you when he is feeling lonely. I wouldn't be so quick to get into a relationship with him - let him find himself and the ability to be alone and independent. When he has done that, you can be sure that he genuinely wants to be with you.