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what to do to be attractive to girls?

Like building a great body?

I am already well groomed and dress conservative but classic. I don't know how to style or cut my hair or whether it's better to have a beard or not for example. I don't wish to look "feminine" but I look a bit youthful in that I don't have like chiseled looks but more boyish ones I guess (face fat like buccal fat did not go away after puberty, so I guess it's just how my face is although I assume if I reach low enough body fat, I might look more masculine?)

JUST to be clear: I don't want to be popular, I don't want random girls to like me. I want to be attractive for my girl (I am monogamous, not interested in having affairs but am currently single).
Focus on your body is definetley an improvement. And you should do what suits you to be honest. Cuts and styles really depend on the person. Try out different things. And also personality really does matter so it’s fine if your not the best looking
Not much, genetics determine your looks. Looks are everything for girls
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous #3
Not much, genetics determine your looks. Looks are everything for girls

But like clearly, one can look radically different if they do certain things as opposed to if they don't, right? you can not shower or trim your nails and so on and that would make a difference wouldnt it

You can't change your face shape or like your symmetry yeah but I am not talking about those obviously
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous #1
Like building a great body?

I am already well groomed and dress conservative but classic. I don't know how to style or cut my hair or whether it's better to have a beard or not for example. I don't wish to look "feminine" but I look a bit youthful in that I don't have like chiseled looks but more boyish ones I guess (face fat like buccal fat did not go away after puberty, so I guess it's just how my face is although I assume if I reach low enough body fat, I might look more masculine?)

JUST to be clear: I don't want to be popular, I don't want random girls to like me. I want to be attractive for my girl (I am monogamous, not interested in having affairs but am currently single).

Stop thinking attraction is all about looks and be an interesting and interested personality.
Lose weight, Plastic surgery and a good haircut realistically all you can do
Original post by Anonymous #1
Like building a great body?

I am already well groomed and dress conservative but classic. I don't know how to style or cut my hair or whether it's better to have a beard or not for example. I don't wish to look "feminine" but I look a bit youthful in that I don't have like chiseled looks but more boyish ones I guess (face fat like buccal fat did not go away after puberty, so I guess it's just how my face is although I assume if I reach low enough body fat, I might look more masculine?)

JUST to be clear: I don't want to be popular, I don't want random girls to like me. I want to be attractive for my girl (I am monogamous, not interested in having affairs but am currently single).


Being confident in yourself is the most important
Original post by Surnia
Stop thinking attraction is all about looks and be an interesting and interested personality.

Not sure what is your point here. If OP wants to be more attractive to girls, he better exercise, eat "right", sleep enough, etc. A guy's weight and body shape (like being slim but also having wide shoulders and some visible muscle) are literally everything.

Being interesting as a person might make you a good friend but that's all. Not denigrating it.

And being interested in girls, showing your interest won't make you anything, they will either not care and ignore you or, if they see you're overly eager and anxious to please, use you.

Either way, not a good advice.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous #5
Not sure what is your point here. If OP wants to be more attractive to girls, he better exercise, eat "right", sleep enough, etc. A guy's weight and body shape (like being slim but also having wide shoulders and some visible muscle) are literally everything.

Being interesting as a person might make you a good friend but that's all. Not denigrating it.

And being interested in girls, showing your interest won't make you anything, they will either not care and ignore you or, if they see you're overly eager and anxious to please, use you.

Either way, not a good advice.

It's excellent advice, because who wants a relationship with a well-groomed bore?
Original post by Surnia
It's excellent advice, because who wants a relationship with a well-groomed bore?

Your advice would be more excellent if you gave specific advice that the original poster could deploy. As in how he should be interesting and how he should be interested. 🍿
Reply 10
Original post by Surnia
Stop thinking attraction is all about looks and be an interesting and interested personality.

PRSOM! Looks are all well and good, but without a nice personality they're worth basically nothing, at least to anyone who you might actually want to be with.
Original post by Anonymous #1
But like clearly, one can look radically different if they do certain things as opposed to if they don't, right? you can not shower or trim your nails and so on and that would make a difference wouldnt it

You can't change your face shape or like your symmetry yeah but I am not talking about those obviously

Not much, to be a handsome guy you have to be born with the right genetics. If it was possible to become goodlooking then everyone would do it
Original post by Anonymous #3
Not much, genetics determine your looks. Looks are everything for girls

intelligence , respects your parents and sisters - my deals
An unconventional advice, but try a new haircut that both matches to your personality and attractiveness. A hairstyle is a bigger difference than people think!
Original post by Anonymous
Like building a great body?
I am already well groomed and dress conservative but classic. I don't know how to style or cut my hair or whether it's better to have a beard or not for example. I don't wish to look "feminine" but I look a bit youthful in that I don't have like chiseled looks but more boyish ones I guess (face fat like buccal fat did not go away after puberty, so I guess it's just how my face is although I assume if I reach low enough body fat, I might look more masculine?)
JUST to be clear: I don't want to be popular, I don't want random girls to like me. I want to be attractive for my girl (I am monogamous, not interested in having affairs but am currently single).

Stop choking your chicken
Original post by Sunia
Stop thinking attraction is all about looks and be an interesting and interested personality.


Original post by {Moss}
PRSOM! Looks are all well and good, but without a nice personality they're worth basically nothing, at least to anyone who you might actually want to be with.

Whilst I agree looks aren't the be all and end all... IMHO, they ARE important in the first instance.

Whenever we see / meet someone for the first time, we will make an initial judgement based purely on how they look (there's nothing wrong with this per se; it's human nature), and based on this, we will make a judgement on whether we do / don't like them and whether or not we will give them the time of day. A simple analogy is like a CV for a job interview... the recruiter will look at 000's of CV's and will only invite a select few for that interview that have the right look and key points in the right places... same principles here.

I'm not saying you have to be a model type with chiselled good looks to get anywhere, but you have to have the right sort of look / vibe / image that appeals to the person you're trying to interact with. If you do pass the "looks" test, then you need to have the personality to back it up. Please note, when I say "personality", I mean you actually have to have one; it's NOT a cliched response to try and make less attractive people feel better about themselves.

This is true for most social interactions in places like pubs, clubs etc... I admit it is different with situations like neighbours or work colleagues, where you have to interact with them; regardless of their look... and yes, if you meet people through things like evening classes or general networking (e.g. meeting friends of friends); the latter scenarios do allow much more opportunities for personalities to shine through; regardless of their attractiveness level.

Original post by Anonymous
Like building a great body?
I am already well groomed and dress conservative but classic. I don't know how to style or cut my hair or whether it's better to have a beard or not for example. I don't wish to look "feminine" but I look a bit youthful in that I don't have like chiseled looks but more boyish ones I guess (face fat like buccal fat did not go away after puberty, so I guess it's just how my face is although I assume if I reach low enough body fat, I might look more masculine?)
JUST to be clear: I don't want to be popular, I don't want random girls to like me. I want to be attractive for my girl (I am monogamous, not interested in having affairs but am currently single).

I'm not sure if you're still following this, but if you are, my advice would be to take note of the couples, where the girl is the type you'd like to attract... and then take a note of what the guy looks like, what sort of image / dress sense etc. If you take the time to do this, chances are you'll notice certain traits these guys have in common... and then those are the sort of attributes you want to aspire to obtain. No one here knows the kind of girls you like or want to attract, so no one can definitively tell you what you should do. Although, anyone looks better if it's clear they look after their body... so doing some kind of exercise is a good / safe start.


Original post by Anonymous
Not much, to be a handsome guy you have to be born with the right genetics. If it was possible to become goodlooking then everyone would do it

Rubbish!

The reason people don't do it is laziness... they either aren't serious about fixing their problems (and just want to moan), or they demand a miracle cure, that requires no effort from themselves. It's often said on here Asian guys are at the bottom of the dating tree (maybe they are, maybe they aren't)... but certainly the ones who DO TRAIN and /or look after themselves have no problems getting their fair share of attention from women.



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(edited 1 month ago)

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