The Student Room Group

do any other girls feel unlovable?

i'm 18, female. have never been in a relationship. no guy has admitted to having feelings for me for about 5 years now. strangely i get a fair bit of female attention lol. i just really struggle to see any guy wanting to be in a relationship with me, ever. i dress nicely and wear makeup, perfume, i do my hair and nails but i'm not very beautiful. i think my voice is annoying too. i'd say i'm fairly smart and have a good sense of humour but i think guys maybe just aren't physically attracted and they can't get over that. i've had guy friends tell me they love having conversations with me and like my style and feel an emotional bond but not one of them has actually liked me in that way. i'm at the point where all of my friends (and they're mostly nerds) have had some dating or relationship experience but i haven't, and it just feels like i never will. it doesn't feel like there is much more i could do at this point to try and make guys interested. i mean, i dont mind it terribly, i could probably find happiness some other way but sometimes it feels like im missing out on a fairly big part of life. anyone in the same boat?
Reply 1
same age but I dont think I even care anymore it use to crush me but i just moved on
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
same age but I dont think I even care anymore it use to crush me but i just moved on


that's fair enough. idk though its difficult for me to move past the idea entirely, i mean i do hopefully wanna have kids some day but you cant really do that without a partner lmao
Reply 3
I’m a guy but I get a lot of female attention. 😆 😄
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
that's fair enough. idk though its difficult for me to move past the idea entirely, i mean i do hopefully wanna have kids some day but you cant really do that without a partner lmao

tbh there probably would be someone for you i just gave up all that questioning brought me unhappiness and i focus on myself
Reply 5
OMG, you remind me of myself at 18...
It took me some time to accept that I am cute (not more than that) and that I need to socialize more and show more of my personality so guys will more than like me. At 18, they are still full of hormones and the thing they call "attractiveness" is more like "I want to f*** it", this is not what you are looking for in a relationship. When they get older they will pay more attention to the personality and here, even from your own words, you have a great advantage. Most of the guys at 18 still want a dildo an not a girlfriend, they are not ready for a relationship that is not around sex, so you are not loosing much. You prefer being their friend and not f***body. Not everyone is like that, but most are, and to be honest, guys would treat you better as a close friend and when they are ready for a real relationship they will slowly fall in love with you for your personality. If you have fun with them as a friend it is the best for you now...
:smile:
Problem could be easily solved if you people decided to be theone to approach the men you are interested in.
But since 'oh, i am a princess, i cannot risk rejection. It is too humiliating. Men are robots anyway, i am sure they love getting rejected. Plus they are used to getting rejected, so why should i risk something so humiliating'

Or 'what? men expect women to approach first? GROSS!real men showtheir interest in women by chasing them.'

Anyway, op and all the girls on here who complain about feeling unwanted and allthe what not. Do not worry. Just stay still. Do nothing.
one day your prince will come your way, chase you and ask you out.
Reply 7
Original post by Ackhnologia
Problem could be easily solved if you people decided to be theone to approach the men you are interested in.
But since 'oh, i am a princess, i cannot risk rejection. It is too humiliating. Men are robots anyway, i am sure they love getting rejected. Plus they are used to getting rejected, so why should i risk something so humiliating'

Or 'what? men expect women to approach first? GROSS!real men showtheir interest in women by chasing them.'

Anyway, op and all the girls on here who complain about feeling unwanted and allthe what not. Do not worry. Just stay still. Do nothing.
one day your prince will come your way, chase you and ask you out.

it's a bit more complicated when the guys you have liked have all started dating another girl before you get the chance to say anything...
what do you mean female as in lesbians
Reply 9
Original post by karl pilkington
what do you mean female as in lesbians

yeah. which i am not so it's not exactly a suitable alternative lol
do you think you dress in a masculine way have you ever approached guys you think are hot?
Listen, I know you're not alone feeling like this, there will be a ton of other girls in the same boat. The thing is relationships are difficult and hard, you'll find the one, it'll take time but you'll find him. Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? My advice is try to push yourself out there more like go clubbing, you are young, have some fun. If you aren't a sort of clubbing person maybe go and volunteer at places where they help people you're age.

Just take your time and be cautious.
Original post by Anonymous
i'm 18, female. have never been in a relationship. no guy has admitted to having feelings for me for about 5 years now. strangely i get a fair bit of female attention lol. i just really struggle to see any guy wanting to be in a relationship with me, ever. i dress nicely and wear makeup, perfume, i do my hair and nails but i'm not very beautiful. i think my voice is annoying too. i'd say i'm fairly smart and have a good sense of humour but i think guys maybe just aren't physically attracted and they can't get over that. i've had guy friends tell me they love having conversations with me and like my style and feel an emotional bond but not one of them has actually liked me in that way. i'm at the point where all of my friends (and they're mostly nerds) have had some dating or relationship experience but i haven't, and it just feels like i never will. it doesn't feel like there is much more i could do at this point to try and make guys interested. i mean, i dont mind it terribly, i could probably find happiness some other way but sometimes it feels like im missing out on a fairly big part of life. anyone in the same boat?


Girllll i'm exactly the same situation as u!! Dw about it, ik it feels crushing and absolutely horrible at times but i think the best thing to do is to learn to be confident and love yourself. i have had this advice from so many people and it's honestly the same. you gotta love and find yourself first and have independance and individuality. it sounds so cheesy and stereotypical and trust me i thought this advice was so annoying and crap coz it came from ppl who are in relationships themselves and dont get u but now i get it. You gotta have some faith and love in urself. I get how u feel, u want a boyfriend to hang out with, do cute stuff with etc, i am exactly the same ! And u feel left out but being different doesnt mean it is a bad thing. All great things take time and i am sure u will find someone soon enough. appreciate the good things in life, your friends, hanging out, hobbies you do.... invest in those and it should be all good!
I hope this helps and just so u know, u r not alone! <3 there are millions of girls going through this and feel the same way, everyone in some point feels horrific about themselves. even the hottest girl and guy u know will look in the mirror and think they r horrible. it happens to everyone. But u must learn to accept urself and embrace life to the fullest.
I hope that helps! :smile: x
Reply 13
Original post by karl pilkington
do you think you dress in a masculine way have you ever approached guys you think are hot?


I'm very feminine on how i dress. I have tried flirting with the guys I like but they don't seem to acknowledge it as flirting, I don't think i'm very obvious or confident with it
Reply 14
Original post by Bournemouth24
Listen, I know you're not alone feeling like this, there will be a ton of other girls in the same boat. The thing is relationships are difficult and hard, you'll find the one, it'll take time but you'll find him. Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? My advice is try to push yourself out there more like go clubbing, you are young, have some fun. If you aren't a sort of clubbing person maybe go and volunteer at places where they help people you're age.

Just take your time and be cautious.


thank you. i'm fairly introverted although really trying hard to be more confident. i'm hoping to be able to mix with more people at uni and go out etc, maybe its just a matter of meeting enough people to find one where there is mutual attraction.
Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous
Girllll i'm exactly the same situation as u!! Dw about it, ik it feels crushing and absolutely horrible at times but i think the best thing to do is to learn to be confident and love yourself. i have had this advice from so many people and it's honestly the same. you gotta love and find yourself first and have independance and individuality. it sounds so cheesy and stereotypical and trust me i thought this advice was so annoying and crap coz it came from ppl who are in relationships themselves and dont get u but now i get it. You gotta have some faith and love in urself. I get how u feel, u want a boyfriend to hang out with, do cute stuff with etc, i am exactly the same ! And u feel left out but being different doesnt mean it is a bad thing. All great things take time and i am sure u will find someone soon enough. appreciate the good things in life, your friends, hanging out, hobbies you do.... invest in those and it should be all good!
I hope this helps and just so u know, u r not alone! <3 there are millions of girls going through this and feel the same way, everyone in some point feels horrific about themselves. even the hottest girl and guy u know will look in the mirror and think they r horrible. it happens to everyone. But u must learn to accept urself and embrace life to the fullest.
I hope that helps! :smile: x

tysm, those are all really good points :smile: good luck to you as well
Original post by Anonymous
it's a bit more complicated when the guys you have liked have all started dating another girl before you get the chance to say anything...

then learn to approach men as soon as you are interested. Men have no choice but to show their interest in a woman and be ready to facerejection and all. Because if they do not , they will never get a partner.
Same apply to women.at least the women who feel invisible to men (most men feeling invisible all their life, contrary to women)
(edited 11 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
it's a bit more complicated when the guys you have liked have all started dating another girl before you get the chance to say anything...


Lol, you are chasing the more popular guys and complaining that you are losing out. Perhaps the guys chasing the more popular girls and losing out are doing the same???

If you are not up to what the more popular guys are looking for then maybe try for the not so popular guys. Otherwise you are likely to keep hitting the same roadblock. The more popular guys are popular because they have traits that are seen as admirable so they are looking for partners that have admirable traits, it's only fair.

You've already told us you are introverted so may seem shy and that you may not be that attractive looking. That's two non admirable traits. Anything else? Not having a go here but you need to see it as it is or if you don't you aren't being fair to yourself. Either gender I think don't want to know if they aren't contemplating being with someone who balances out on a similar level with them one way or another.

We can't all be attractive, most people are just everyday average looking some less so. So you're not necessarily in any boat that is unusual but you're likely setting your sights too high. If you go after good looking and/or socialable guys, etc then most girls are attracted to them, so you're going to be out of luck unless you are also good looking, sociable, etc. So I would say just be more reasonable on who you go for, they're are a load of single guys who also aren't all that who are also feeling the same way you are.
(edited 11 months ago)

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