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how do you deal with a break up??

my girlfriend broke up with me because she said she didnt have feelings for me anymore . she said that i did nothing wrong and i was a good partner but i think she broke up with me because we were long distance and i stopped sexting with her because i felt uncomfortable. basically i feel like if i just could suck it up we'd still be together. ive never gone through a break up before because this was my first relationship and i want to know how do i get past this feeling of being heart broken and guilt so i could still be friends with her .

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 1

Drea2

Erm if you don’t mind me asking, how long were you guys together ? If you really truly love her fight for your relationship, by don’t push too hard, you could push her away

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 2

okalright

Original post by Drea2

Erm if you don’t mind me asking, how long were you guys together ? If you really truly love her fight for your relationship, by don’t push too hard, you could push her away

we've been together for 7 months.She just said that its best for both of us to breakup because she doesnt want it to be one sided etc and i dont want to put pressure on her if she really does want to break up because i guess i gotta respect that .she also have been saying stuff like oh people look so different after you dont care about them anymore on twitter so i guess that settles it. anyways i wanna know how do we still be friends without being it awkward and everything if thats even possible asdfdshj.

Reply 3

Abcdefghijk123

Cut off communication with her. Sounds so hard because obviously you still have feelings for her but trust me, you won’t be able to move on if you continue talking to her/seeing her post new pics on Facebook. I went through this a couple of months back so I can relate. Unfriend, unfollow, block etc. Read about the ‘no contact rule’.

Keep busy with friends, work, interests etc. to keep your mind off of it.

Cry, wallow, get your feelings out. Write letters/texts that you’ll never send. Scream in fields/your pillow. Don’t pretend to be fine when you’re not.

Then, in a few months when you feel better about it all, you could consider being friends. But just a word of warning. If you start a friendship, feelings may come back and then you may end up having to go through this all over again. Just something to consider.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 4

Drea2

Original post by okalright

Well I mean talk to her and tell her that you just want to be friends, in simple words. “Hey I understand right things are a bit awkward however I would love for us to be friends, you know I want to be that person you can call on when you need things or f you need advice” something like that

Reply 5

canadaman815

You might not end up being the best of friends with her, and that's alright. It will take a while to accept that, but if she didn't have feelings for you anymore, know that there will likely be someone down the road who is more passionate and caring about you. Don't blame yourself for this, because it really won't do any good. Emotions are fleeting, and sometimes we simply can't help peoples' feelings changing. Long distance is also a very trying test for a lot of relationships.

As to how to get over it, time will do a lot for you. For now, do you have friends you can spend more time with? Any sort of new hobby or passion you can pursue? If it helps or if you feel like it, don't be afraid to seek out a counselor, doctor, or close family member just to talk things out and process it. Bottling it up inside can hurt terribly. Hoping for the best for your future.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Let yourself be sad for a bit, it’s perfectly normal and okay to feel the way you’re feeling and wishing those feelings away won’t help (neither will ignoring them). Remember that this too will pass and that time can heal almost everything. There are so many wonderful people out there that you haven’t even met yet.

Cut her off on everything. Sometimes social media really is a plague; seeing her pictures plastered on Instagram will only serve as a constant reminder. If her accounts aren’t private I recommend blocking her so you don’t end up going on a picture stalking spree.

If you do have to talk to her, stay the better person, keep it civil, this will avoid escalating anything.

Go out as much as you can, with family or friends or even on your own as long as it’s somewhere engaging. Alternatively something that’ll occupy your mind a little should help. Reading, watching tv, doing work etc.

Don’t jump into a rebound, you’ll regret it if you get in a new relationship with someone you don’t have many feelings for.

And remember everyone goes through a breakup, and most of them get through it. It’s not that you’ll never ever date again or find anyone better, as much as it may feel like it now. There are always better people out there :smile: