Mixed Feelings!!!

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He is going off to Cambridge soon so we won't be able to see each other as often.

For whatever reason this has triggered loads of thoughts and doubt in mg head about if I should break up with him?? Sometimes I'll get thoughts about it at night and realise I don't really care about it and the next morning I'll be back to normal?

Any advice on how to soothe my worries and stop me from have these thoughts? Thanks :smile:

Reply 1

Analyst89

20

What are your thoughts and doubts in your head that wants to make you break up with him?

Reply 2

Joanna1.1

9

Original post by Anonymous

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He is going off to Cambridge soon so we won't be able to see each other as often.

For whatever reason this has triggered loads of thoughts and doubt in mg head about if I should break up with him?? Sometimes I'll get thoughts about it at night and realise I don't really care about it and the next morning I'll be back to normal?

Any advice on how to soothe my worries and stop me from have these thoughts? Thanks :smile:

Hey , I think that you should really try and see whats best for you, yes 3 years of a relationship is long and yes it would hurt if you would decide to brake up and after braking up you would get lots of thoughts thinking weather you did the right thing ,however just listen to your heart if you feel like you can’t deal with it or that your not happy that way it’s best to end it ( explain it and talk it through ) don’t think of the future just think about right here right now and how you feel . Your not going to stop the thoughts from coming if you don’t really know what you want.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Analyst89

What are your thoughts and doubts in your head that wants to make you break up with him?

I have read a lot about how most long-term couples break up before uni and it might just be better to do it now on mutual ground.

I also sometimes feel like I'm putting more effort in than he is; I always try to leave my lessons early for him and I always walk to see him and he doesn't really do it for me. I have confronted him on it and he says that he's too busy with Cambridge stuff (I try to understand but honestly it seems to be becoming an excuse?)

He doesn't really seem to really take an interest in my future career or what I do - I study Graphic Design which is a art based so it's not really taken seriously somewhat anyway, but everytime I try to talk to him about it he kind of doesn't listen or dismisses it. Sometimes I even feel like he kind of takes the mick.

The thing that really throws me off is that it's like he can read my mind? I'll be having these bad thoughts and a few days later he will do something that disproves them? Which is what causes my mixed feelings.

Oh and he's the only person I talk to outside of my family so there's that - if I lose him I have no one else, which I think kind of plays a big part of why I'm still with him, which is really bad, I try not to think about it too much because I don't know who's at fault.

If you read all of this thanks, I realise it's really long and rambly but this is the first time I've told anyone! Thank you!

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Joanna1.1

Hey , I think that you should really try and see whats best for you, yes 3 years of a relationship is long and yes it would hurt if you would decide to brake up and after braking up you would get lots of thoughts thinking weather you did the right thing ,however just listen to your heart if you feel like you can’t deal with it or that your not happy that way it’s best to end it ( explain it and talk it through ) don’t think of the future just think about right here right now and how you feel . Your not going to stop the thoughts from coming if you don’t really know what you want.

He is so integrated into my daily routine, he's the only friend I have, so it's not really an issue that I can't deal with it, because I've been with him since I was 14 so I'm more worried that I've gotten so used to it that I've gone blind if that makes sense? Honestly I don't think I know what I want at all, I'm just hoping someone can give me an outsider's perspective on my situation so that I can decide what I want! Thank you for you help :smile:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

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Mixed Feelings!!!

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