The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

Hi everyone,

have ended up in an LDR; I'm in Oxford and she's in southampton. It's a bit tough atm; but we have all summer then she's at UCL so the Oxford tube is a nice, cheap way for weekend visits to work Hopefully it will work out, just a little bit worried about things atm... like, Is it natural to be a little nervous when she goes clubbing at home?

1hr 20 is an LDR now?

Hi everyone,

have ended up in an LDR; I'm in Oxford and she's in southampton. It's a bit tough atm; but we have all summer then she's at UCL so the Oxford tube is a nice, cheap way for weekend visits to work Hopefully it will work out, just a little bit worried about things atm... like, Is it natural to be a little nervous when she goes clubbing at home?

It is never about how long it takes you to see your other half. Its if the distance stops you seeing your other half as much as you would want to. Ultimately, it's up to the people in it. Someone coming from Australia/UK to a London/Oxford probably wouldn't look at the London/Oxford as a LDR as much as the Oz/UK. But, someone who met their other half in their hometown, or even at Uni or something, and spent most of their time with them (much like me) would view Yeovil/Bristol as LDR. It all depends on your perspective.

Yeah, I mean.. At first, I didn't feel that I was in a long-distance relationship. He had always lived in London, I had always lived in Bristol. But then my friends all kept saying how they couldn't hack being in a long-distance relationship like that so.. finally, I started to adopt the perspective that I was in a long-distance-relationship! I'm technically 2hrs 30mins away from my boyfriend but, we have to take public transport, which adds a minimum of 2hrs to our journey. Soon, we'll be around 5hrs 30mins away via public transport (Bristol/Leichester), I think. Not to bad but, quite some time to spend on a coach!

Hey I'm in a LDR - my boyfriend is a 6 hour drive away right now. We visit each other at least once a month, I was just wondering if others in long distant relationships could help me.

I've just returned him after us spending the weekend together. It didn't go as well as it usually does. He seems ....less close and one evening he said he just needed to be alone for a bit. We usually have sex lots, I mean like 8 times over the weekend but this weekend was twice, and that's because I pushed for it. I've tried asking him whats up, he says nothing. Is it normal to have 'off' weekends? I just feel so deflated, I have no ida when I will next see him and I just feel so depressed that this is how it is going to be from now on......

Hey I'm in a LDR - my boyfriend is a 6 hour drive away right now. We visit each other at least once a month, I was just wondering if others in long distant relationships could help me.

I've just returned him after us spending the weekend together. It didn't go as well as it usually does. He seems ....less close and one evening he said he just needed to be alone for a bit. We usually have sex lots, I mean like 8 times over the weekend but this weekend was twice, and that's because I pushed for it. I've tried asking him whats up, he says nothing. Is it normal to have 'off' weekends? I just feel so deflated, I have no ida when I will next see him and I just feel so depressed that this is how it is going to be from now on......

Hey hey, I have an Oxford/Leicester LDR, isn't Oxford lovely
Are you there at the uni or do you live there?
Also, what is this Oxford tube you speak of I am interested...

I get worried when my boyfriend goes clubbing/to the pub/near other girls but hey, that's just me. As long as you trust her and she is worth that trust (and she's not just going out to grind on other men) then I don't see any problem

Good luck

I obviously can't really say as I don't know you or him or your relationship, but this sounds really normal. One of the things I've noticed is that you build things up and get really excited for the weekend together and then you're bound to be disappointed! My best advice would be to just ask him if everything is alright, because you felt like he acted differently than normal. Maybe he felt the same about you?

Get a railcard! London/Bristol was actually my first choice for a LDR, but then changed my mind =P But yeah, railcard =) Costs a bit, but it will save you loads of money. Trains aren't as cheap as coaches, but lots quicker, and if you book in advance work out pretty well =) <3 my railcard

Corpus Christi College so uni...

Oxford Tube is a bus that goes London/Oxford for 13 quid return if you are a student...

I don't think she will, I trust her

Hey everyone, I have been in a LDR for a while now, well since january. Haven't seen my guy since the end of March and it's becoming really hard to deal with it. He is studying in Aberdeen and I'm here in Lithuania. I was thinking of going to study in Glasgow but at the end I decided to study in RGU, which is in Aberdeen. So I'm flying there on the 18th of July, so less than 2 months to wait. Sometimes I have these bad days when I'm all sad and tired of waiting and I start thinking whether I made the right decision, but at the end of the day I know that I really care for him and so does he, I know... What I don't know is whether my post had any point at all;D but I guess I just felt the need to post here:} Thanks to anyone who reads this.

Hello there, I'm really stuck in a rut and thought you guys could give me a bit of advice regarding my boyfriend (who lives 100 miles away and I've been with for 1 and a half years.
I did post this on another forum, but I think seeing as most of your are in ldrs, you would give more relevant advice. So here goes: its a long post, sorry.

Basically, all my friends say to me that my boyfriend treats me like crap...and I think I'm starting to believe them. But I'd still like an outsiders view.
I'll give you a few examples of the things he has done to make me cry.
2 months into the relationship he asked me to introduce him to one of my friends, so I did. I later found out from her that he flirted with her and didn't tell her he had a girlfriend (she didn't know i was with him at the time). I broke up with him, cus at the time I wasn't into him that much. He emotionally blackmailed me (fainting at school, starving himself, begging at my door etc), and we got back together. After that, we had a pretty much perfect relationship for 9 months. He was great.

It all started going downhill when he went to university. In December, he went on holiday with these three American girls to spain, and didn't tell me until 2 days before. I felt a bit hurt that he didn't think to consult me, but eventually got over it when he came back for Christmas.
In his second term, he started neglecting to call me (we had planned before he went to uni that we would speak once a day on the phone). He would often ignore me for up to 4 days. I told him off for this, but he keeps doing it!
Valentines day - I get no card or gift...but I at least expected a phonecall. At one am on feb 15th i get a text from him saying that he wont be able to call me. I ask him why and he tells me that he wanted to go to a party with some americans in his halls common room. wtf?!

Around April time, he again neglected to call me for a period of 4 days. When he came back for Easter, I did a bad thing and looked at his phone. what I found was a lengthy text conversation with a girl from his uni, during the period when he was ignoring me. In this conversation he admitted to this girl that he wanted to '**** around' yet wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. What the hell? He then asked her how she gives good blowjobs, and told her I was only average at them (what does he expect? he is my first, I'm young and not experienced). Then she told him she would take him out to spearmint rhino to get rid of his frustrations, and that she would bring round some porn videos for him. This isn't normal friend behaviour surely?! Also, why does he think its okay to have a long late night text convo with this girl, yet ignore his own girlfriend?
Thing is, him and this other guy are gonna be living with this girl next year, which means I will eventually have to meet her. I really dread this, cus she knows so much private stuff about me, it's gonna be so awkward for me. Argh!

If you read all that I congratulate you.

Hey everyone, I have been in a LDR for a while now, well since january. Haven't seen my guy since the end of March and it's becoming really hard to deal with it. He is studying in Aberdeen and I'm here in Lithuania. I was thinking of going to study in Glasgow but at the end I decided to study in RGU, which is in Aberdeen. So I'm flying there on the 18th of July, so less than 2 months to wait. Sometimes I have these bad days when I'm all sad and tired of waiting and I start thinking whether I made the right decision, but at the end of the day I know that I really care for him and so does he, I know... What I don't know is whether my post had any point at all;D but I guess I just felt the need to post here:} Thanks to anyone who reads this.