The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

Hey guys.

I've been with my boyfriend 9 months and we've just had to go our separate ways for the summer as we met at uni. We're only two hours apart but I'm working 5 days a week and neither of us drive. I realise it's not as far or as permanent as many of you but I am really down about the whole thing. I keep seeing 3 months as this huge solid block and the thought of going that long without seeing him very often terrifies me. I'd happily see him every weekend but he doesn't want that as he doesn't have much money and he i'm not really sure why but i think he'd feel like a bit of a wimp if he saw me every weekend. Maybe he thinks he's be a bit less manly or something and his dad or friends would take the mick.

I'm just really scared about the whole thing. Most of my friends from home are staying in their uni cities or are working over the summer aswell so my social life probably isn't going to be jumping either. I'd just like some tips on how to cope without him really I'm not as dependent on him as it might sound, I'm just really down and missing him. Doesn't help that I don't feel like this summer is going to be much fun anyway with the long hours and lack of friends.

Before i moved home for summer i'd see him every day as he lived in the building right next to mine. We're now 3 hours and £50 away from eachother and i always seem to get really upset and cry whenever i have to leave him - we met up in london yesterday and spent the day together, but when it got to the time we had to leave eachother as usual i cried. Does it get easier as time goes on?

but you've got to realise that being apart will only make you stronger as a couple

I'be been in a moderately long distance relationship for nearly 2 months now. We live 50 miles apart, but it's only a 1hr 20 train ride, so we see each other once or twice a week if we can. The only thing that is starting to grate on me is his inability to communicate.

He is possibily the worst texter I have ever encountered. He takes hours to reply to a text message, or simply just doesn't text back at all, and as he is quite closed up about his feelings, he never goes into emotional depth about anything on the phone, so I have absolutely no idea how he feels about me most of the time. To be fair to him, he doesn't not text me back on purpose, he is generally really bad at operating a phone - even his friends complain at him about it - I just thought that if he likes me a lot and doesn't get to see me very often he would make the effort.

He only recently opened up to me and told me that he was serious about me and liked me a lot - until then I genuinely just assumed he wasn't that into me and only wanted a casual 'seeing each other' kind of relationship. Since he opened up about his feelings, I feel like he should be treating me more as his girlfriend, and less like just a girl he knows.

In the time we don't see each other we drift apart, and I feel upset because he doesn't make the effort to talk to me during the day and doesn't ever say anything that I perceive as emotionally meaningful. I am kind of worried that I scared him off by telling him how I feel about him.

Basically, my relationship is a constant state of flux - when I'm with him I am ecstatic, then when I leave him the feeling gradually degrades into annoyance and worry. I need help with this mess of a problem.

This is perfect in describing what's good about an LDR.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, it really does! Being in an LDR is a real test of the strength of a relationship.

I'm going mad at the moment and need to rant and some advice.

I'm committed to saying where I am till at least next July. My boyfriend knows this and always led me to believe that he would be looking for a job in the same town and would even be staying with me for a bit while he sorted a house out.

All the jobs he's been offered so far are at least 2 hours away though, and he seems to think this is fine. I'm not worried he'll cheat but I'll be on really long hours and the thought of only being able to see him every other weekend is really upsetting me. Obviously I can't say no you can't get a decent job and when I spoke to him, he said even if we were living 2 hours apart we'd be fine but I'm still very upset.

I literally can't move from where I am now till next July so there is no question of me moving down with him. How are we going to get through this?

It now even looks like we'll only be living near each other for the next few weeks, I haven't even got him with me till September.

I miss my girlfriend something rotten and i'm really worried I'm not going to see here for ages more. It's been too long already, I can't cope with it any more

I just want to be able to hold her.

All I can say is that it is do-able. If you're used to being together a lot of them time atm, then it will be hard to begin with, but you will adapt to it and appreciate the time you do have to spend together. Do either of you have a car? A car makes things much easier in my experience. My boyfriend and I have unlimited calls & texts to each other, and that makes it easier.

I suppose we do both have cars, although we will only be able to do every other weekend because of work/course pressures.

I suppose we do both have cars, although we will only be able to do every other weekend because of work/course pressures.