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    This distance thing is poo.

    How does one get a half decent nights sleep without the infuriatingly annoying hair in eyes/mouth, rustling around waking you up, poking you with elbows etc etc...
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    Hey guys.

    I've been with my boyfriend 9 months and we've just had to go our separate ways for the summer as we met at uni. We're only two hours apart but I'm working 5 days a week and neither of us drive. I realise it's not as far or as permanent as many of you but I am really down about the whole thing. I keep seeing 3 months as this huge solid block and the thought of going that long without seeing him very often terrifies me. I'd happily see him every weekend but he doesn't want that as he doesn't have much money and he i'm not really sure why but i think he'd feel like a bit of a wimp if he saw me every weekend. Maybe he thinks he's be a bit less manly or something and his dad or friends would take the mick.

    I'm just really scared about the whole thing. Most of my friends from home are staying in their uni cities or are working over the summer aswell so my social life probably isn't going to be jumping either. I'd just like some tips on how to cope without him really I'm not as dependent on him as it might sound, I'm just really down and missing him. Doesn't help that I don't feel like this summer is going to be much fun anyway with the long hours and lack of friends.
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    (Original post by iloveyou_xx)
    Hey guys.

    I've been with my boyfriend 9 months and we've just had to go our separate ways for the summer as we met at uni. We're only two hours apart but I'm working 5 days a week and neither of us drive. I realise it's not as far or as permanent as many of you but I am really down about the whole thing. I keep seeing 3 months as this huge solid block and the thought of going that long without seeing him very often terrifies me. I'd happily see him every weekend but he doesn't want that as he doesn't have much money and he i'm not really sure why but i think he'd feel like a bit of a wimp if he saw me every weekend. Maybe he thinks he's be a bit less manly or something and his dad or friends would take the mick.

    I'm just really scared about the whole thing. Most of my friends from home are staying in their uni cities or are working over the summer aswell so my social life probably isn't going to be jumping either. I'd just like some tips on how to cope without him really I'm not as dependent on him as it might sound, I'm just really down and missing him. Doesn't help that I don't feel like this summer is going to be much fun anyway with the long hours and lack of friends.
    I know just how you feel, me and my boyfriend have been together almost two years now and he's suddenly off to Africa for seven weeks I think the best part about simply going home though is the fact you'll probably be able to talk on the phone/msn/facebook etc everyday. In my case we only talk 20 minutes or so once a week (I've already run up a bill of £150 and he's only been gone three weeks!) and he has no internet. I know for me that's sufficent, he texts me every so often saying he misses me etc, and these three weeks have flown by (despite the lack of social life I have!)

    Like you I was terrified, but you've got to realise that being apart will only make you stronger as a couple You're probably lucky in that you'll be working so much it should keep you busy, and may also make up for the lack of social life! My main thing is just to not dwell on him too much, arrange times to talk and then it should break up the amount of time you're apart. I use revision as a distraction... I think it's the only reason I might pass sixth form :p:
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    (Original post by Waiting.)
    Before i moved home for summer i'd see him every day as he lived in the building right next to mine. We're now 3 hours and £50 away from eachother and i always seem to get really upset and cry whenever i have to leave him - we met up in london yesterday and spent the day together, but when it got to the time we had to leave eachother as usual i cried. Does it get easier as time goes on?
    Seriously, some days are harder than others. The thing that works for my LDR is making proper plans for days when we can meet up. For example, I work in a school atm, so knowing when half term was made it easier to plan a whole week together, and it gave me something to look forward to. I know how hard it is to go from seeing each other every single day to being 3 hours away (I live in London, my boyfriend in Sheffield), but the thing I've taken from being in an LDR is to appreciate the time you do have together, and then when you are apart, plan your next visit as it gives you something to look forward to. You'll find days, weeks etc will go quicker when you know when you're going to see him next Communication is also extra important, i talk to my boyfriend in the evening so we chat about our days and stuff and it means I get to hear his voice every day . I always tend to cry when my boyfriend leaves, or I go home from his, but I think that's a natural reaction, don't worry too much about that.
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    (Original post by manx1991)

    but you've got to realise that being apart will only make you stronger as a couple
    This is perfect in describing what's good about an LDR.

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder, it really does! Being in an LDR is a real test of the strength of a relationship.:o:
    • #211
    #211

    Anybody else struggle with the lack of intimacy and sex in a LDR? Me and my partner see each other one weekend every month and we end up 'wasting' the weekend making up for the lack of sexytime which doesn't leave time for doing much else. We both have a high sex drive and this is something I really struggle with How do you deal with it?
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    I'be been in a moderately long distance relationship for nearly 2 months now. We live 50 miles apart, but it's only a 1hr 20 train ride, so we see each other once or twice a week if we can. The only thing that is starting to grate on me is his inability to communicate.

    He is possibily the worst texter I have ever encountered. He takes hours to reply to a text message, or simply just doesn't text back at all, and as he is quite closed up about his feelings, he never goes into emotional depth about anything on the phone, so I have absolutely no idea how he feels about me most of the time. To be fair to him, he doesn't not text me back on purpose, he is generally really bad at operating a phone - even his friends complain at him about it - I just thought that if he likes me a lot and doesn't get to see me very often he would make the effort.

    He only recently opened up to me and told me that he was serious about me and liked me a lot - until then I genuinely just assumed he wasn't that into me and only wanted a casual 'seeing each other' kind of relationship. Since he opened up about his feelings, I feel like he should be treating me more as his girlfriend, and less like just a girl he knows.

    In the time we don't see each other we drift apart, and I feel upset because he doesn't make the effort to talk to me during the day and doesn't ever say anything that I perceive as emotionally meaningful. I am kind of worried that I scared him off by telling him how I feel about him.

    Basically, my relationship is a constant state of flux - when I'm with him I am ecstatic, then when I leave him the feeling gradually degrades into annoyance and worry. I need help with this mess of a problem.
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    (Original post by hannahf1987)
    This is perfect in describing what's good about an LDR.

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder, it really does! Being in an LDR is a real test of the strength of a relationship.:o:
    And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” - Kahlil Gibran
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    (Original post by clarehistory101)
    I'be been in a moderately long distance relationship for nearly 2 months now. We live 50 miles apart, but it's only a 1hr 20 train ride, so we see each other once or twice a week if we can. The only thing that is starting to grate on me is his inability to communicate.

    He is possibily the worst texter I have ever encountered. He takes hours to reply to a text message, or simply just doesn't text back at all, and as he is quite closed up about his feelings, he never goes into emotional depth about anything on the phone, so I have absolutely no idea how he feels about me most of the time. To be fair to him, he doesn't not text me back on purpose, he is generally really bad at operating a phone - even his friends complain at him about it - I just thought that if he likes me a lot and doesn't get to see me very often he would make the effort.

    He only recently opened up to me and told me that he was serious about me and liked me a lot - until then I genuinely just assumed he wasn't that into me and only wanted a casual 'seeing each other' kind of relationship. Since he opened up about his feelings, I feel like he should be treating me more as his girlfriend, and less like just a girl he knows.

    In the time we don't see each other we drift apart, and I feel upset because he doesn't make the effort to talk to me during the day and doesn't ever say anything that I perceive as emotionally meaningful. I am kind of worried that I scared him off by telling him how I feel about him.

    Basically, my relationship is a constant state of flux - when I'm with him I am ecstatic, then when I leave him the feeling gradually degrades into annoyance and worry. I need help with this mess of a problem.
    I don't really know what to say here, but have you tried talking to him? My boyfriend is an awful texter as well, which really bugs me... but since you KNOW that about him, maybe try not texting him... call him instead?
    • #225
    #225

    I'm a bit down about my LDR at the moment, I don't really know what to do, I can never seem to have a proper chat with my boyfriend. It consists of one or two sentences via text or facebook every few days. Haven't spoken to him today, sent him one short message and got a reply the day before and thats it. He never seems to make the effort and I worry he's gone off me because he never picks up the phone and calls. And I feel like a nag when I text him
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    I want my boyfriend to come home argh! Just passed the half way point now (he left three weeks on Thursday, and now it's three weeks and 4 days until I see him...) and I've run up a (possibly) £150 phone bill so can't risk ringing him anymore he's sending me texts every so often but they're getting shorter and more vague... Either he's in a bad state again or he's having too much fun to miss me (I'd much prefer the latter!)
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    This is my situation. Im from Spain and this year i've been dating an american girl from university, she was here a whole year as an exchange student. She went back to the US a month ago and we both feel bad. We talk everyday on skype and she's always telling me how much she likes me and much she misses me (i feel exactly the same). Me and a friend of mine are going to the US next year for a party at her college, we're going to visit her and her 2 friends (we're staying there for 2 weeks). We've both agreed to stay single for when i go over there, but its easy, because i just dont feel like dating anyone else at the moment. I know that after i go over there ill probably wont see her for some years or probably wont see her again But im just thinking about those 2 weeks ill be over there, i dont want to think about what will happen after that. Is it possible for 2 people to still feel in love with eachother after a whole year without seeing eachother??
    As anyone been in a similar situation??
    Ps: im never going to date a girl that lives in another country, i dont want to go over this again
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    At the moment I am managing to see my fiance every 2 weeks or so but it costs me about £40 a time. *sigh* Can't wait til our holiday in August - we haven't spent more than 4 days in a row together since Easter

    Really hope he can find a job here soon, but I have a year contract on a lovely place and not sure if the landlady and my other housemates would allow a couple to share a room.

    I'm sick of people asking why he can't come and live with me - life is just not that easy especially in a recession!
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    Hi everyone...Me and Damon are been communicating for about 5 years now. But we never meet yet. I am hoping next month we will be together then.


    http://www.georgedreams.com/AnimationLoveKey.gif
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    (Original post by hannahf1987)
    This is perfect in describing what's good about an LDR.

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder, it really does! Being in an LDR is a real test of the strength of a relationship.:o:

    so trueee ! 7 weeks to go and our 5 months apart is up happy timesss
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    I miss my girlfriend something rotten and i'm really worried I'm not going to see here for ages more. It's been too long already, I can't cope with it any more

    I just want to be able to hold her.
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    PS Helper
    I'm going mad at the moment and need to rant and some advice.

    I'm committed to saying where I am till at least next July. My boyfriend knows this and always led me to believe that he would be looking for a job in the same town and would even be staying with me for a bit while he sorted a house out.

    All the jobs he's been offered so far are at least 2 hours away though, and he seems to think this is fine. I'm not worried he'll cheat but I'll be on really long hours and the thought of only being able to see him every other weekend is really upsetting me. Obviously I can't say no you can't get a decent job and when I spoke to him, he said even if we were living 2 hours apart we'd be fine but I'm still very upset.

    I literally can't move from where I am now till next July so there is no question of me moving down with him. How are we going to get through this?

    It now even looks like we'll only be living near each other for the next few weeks, I haven't even got him with me till September.
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    (Original post by bestie)
    I'm going mad at the moment and need to rant and some advice.

    I'm committed to saying where I am till at least next July. My boyfriend knows this and always led me to believe that he would be looking for a job in the same town and would even be staying with me for a bit while he sorted a house out.

    All the jobs he's been offered so far are at least 2 hours away though, and he seems to think this is fine. I'm not worried he'll cheat but I'll be on really long hours and the thought of only being able to see him every other weekend is really upsetting me. Obviously I can't say no you can't get a decent job and when I spoke to him, he said even if we were living 2 hours apart we'd be fine but I'm still very upset.

    I literally can't move from where I am now till next July so there is no question of me moving down with him. How are we going to get through this?

    It now even looks like we'll only be living near each other for the next few weeks, I haven't even got him with me till September.
    All I can say is that it is do-able. If you're used to being together a lot of them time atm, then it will be hard to begin with, but you will adapt to it and appreciate the time you do have to spend together. Do either of you have a car? A car makes things much easier in my experience. My boyfriend and I have unlimited calls & texts to each other, and that makes it easier.
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    (Original post by kexy)
    I miss my girlfriend something rotten and i'm really worried I'm not going to see here for ages more. It's been too long already, I can't cope with it any more

    I just want to be able to hold her.
    :console:
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    PS Helper
    (Original post by Lu-x)
    All I can say is that it is do-able. If you're used to being together a lot of them time atm, then it will be hard to begin with, but you will adapt to it and appreciate the time you do have to spend together. Do either of you have a car? A car makes things much easier in my experience. My boyfriend and I have unlimited calls & texts to each other, and that makes it easier.
    I suppose we do both have cars, although we will only be able to do every other weekend because of work/course pressures.
 
 
 
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