Is this right

Is it okay to go clubbing while your in a relationship and explain why (btw only comment if u know how it's like at clubs where you can get touched and intentions arent usually right)
Someone help below

Reply 1

Surnia

20

Yes, it's fine to go clubbing in a relationship if you're not going out with the intention of seriously flirting or getting stupidly drunk. If it's for a fun night out, you should be trusted by your partner as you can't control other people's behaviour, but you can brush it off.

Stopping someone going clubbing because of how other people might behave is controlling.

Reply 2

username5133584

14

Original post by Anonymous

Is it okay to go clubbing while your in a relationship and explain why (btw only comment if u know how it's like at clubs where you can get touched and intentions arent usually right)
Someone help below

Yes! I go clubbing with my mates all the time and am in a 3 year relationship, and two of my other friends also have boyfriends (one’s been with hers longer than me). My boyfriend prefers going to the pub with his friends as clubbing isn’t really their thing but hoping to convert them! I understand your concern because in my experience we’ve been followed around and borderline harrassed by men, including from one club to another...
My advice to be as safe as possible would be to go in a big group. You shouldn’t have to, but it makes you feel more safe. When they’re drunk some lads seem to think it’s ok to touch girls and it’s not, luckily there’s been some nice groups of lads who have looked out for us. It’s good that there are lads out there who dislike that sort of behaviour as much as girls do.
Personally, if your boyfriend is stopping you going out with friends clubbing that’s wrong. Especially since, I don’t know about you, but when I’m drunk all I want is my man and food 😂 Other people will do what other people do unfortunately, it should only matter to him that he trusts you x

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

yes to say otherwise would be controlling. just have to be cautious of other people's behaviour

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by shauna.gx

Yes! I go clubbing with my mates all the time and am in a 3 year relationship, and two of my other friends also have boyfriends (one’s been with hers longer than me). My boyfriend prefers going to the pub with his friends as clubbing isn’t really their thing but hoping to convert them! I understand your concern because in my experience we’ve been followed around and borderline harrassed by men, including from one club to another...
My advice to be as safe as possible would be to go in a big group. You shouldn’t have to, but it makes you feel more safe. When they’re drunk some lads seem to think it’s ok to touch girls and it’s not, luckily there’s been some nice groups of lads who have looked out for us. It’s good that there are lads out there who dislike that sort of behaviour as much as girls do.
Personally, if your boyfriend is stopping you going out with friends clubbing that’s wrong. Especially since, I don’t know about you, but when I’m drunk all I want is my man and food 😂 Other people will do what other people do unfortunately, it should only matter to him that he trusts you x

I'm the type to kiss others and flirt so

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

He doesnt trust me as I've kissed others during our breakup and when I'm drunk I am bad behaved

Reply 6

username5133584

14

Original post by Anonymous

I'm the type to kiss others and flirt so

But, why? Don’t you love your boyfriend enough to y’know.. not do that?
When I’m out, there’s plenty of other men sure. Plenty of men that have approached me too. But even in terms of them asking me for my snapchat and ****, it’s always been ‘I have a boyfriend’. If I can tell a boy’s intentions is to move to me they’re the first words out of my mouth.
You can go clubbing and not flirt or kiss people. But if this is something you have a problem with, I think you need to take responsibility for your own actions. If you don’t feel you can go out and not cheat on your boyfriend, don’t go out. I think it’s controlling of him to demand that you don’t go out clubbing, but from what you’ve said I think you need to take some personal responsibility for it. You have control over your own behaviour even when you’re drunk (unless you are pass out drunk, obviously). To be honest, when clubbing my best advice would not to be get so hammered that you can’t think straight because you IMMEDIATELY put your own safety at risk, never mind anything else.
I think you need to have an open conversation with your boyfriend about it, but if you don’t feel grown up enough to not behave badly when you’re out you shouldn’t be going out in my honest opinion. I hope you and your bf can work things out and come to a mutual agreement about it x

Reply 7

kekedoyouloveme?

21

yes its fine to go clubbing with your friends... I think I only got upset once when my Bf wanted to go as he was planning on going with a girl he used to have a crush on. And in my head, I was like ahh hormones+alcohol+ex-crush who knew how it could have turned out luckily before I threw a tantrum he asked me to come with him too, and we didnt end up going at all so 😭😂

but aside that, I think its fine if your other half goes clubbing, so long as they're responsible and know their limit and drink responsibly. I sound like a 42 year old mum saying that but hey ho.

Reply 8

Surnia

20

Original post by Anonymous

He doesnt trust me as I've kissed others during our breakup and when I'm drunk I am bad behaved

Whoa! That is a complete 180 from what you hinted at, with the 'you can get touched and intentions arent usually right'. So it's you that your boyfriend has to worry about doing the touching and having bad intentions, and not other people!

If you have broken up with someone, fine. In a relationship, you need to show some respect for your partner; how would you feel if he behaved like that? On a more serious note, if you really care not only for him, but for yourself as well, you don't go putting yourself in risky situations. When there's drinking and flirting going on, you don't know how things will develop, whether there will be a bad reaction from someone or you'll end up ill or injured from being drunk.

Either don't put temptation in your way or go with friends who know to keep you on a tight leash; can't you go clubbing to enjoy their conpany with a dance and a drink? The alternative is if you want to act single, be single and leave your boyfriend. (Warnings still apply about risky situations though.)

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

He doesnt trust me as I've kissed others during our breakup and when I'm drunk I am bad behaved

well I'm sorry if you behave like this in a relationship, then you need to end it. If you respected them you wouldn't do that. A relationship is foundationed on trust.

Reply 10

fsh420

3

Original post by Anonymous

I'm the type to kiss others and flirt so

If you’re the type to kiss and flirt with other people I’d suggest maybe not being in a relationship until you’re ready to commit to just one person-otherwise it’s never going to be a healthy relationship.

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