First dates kiss?

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Anonymous #1
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When is the appropriate time to kiss is there like a genuine rule not to kiss a woman after a first date due to disrespect? Any tips of dating is appreciated too as i'm inexperienced.
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Lwexi12
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1. Put yourself out there
Meeting someone special becomes virtually impossible if you don’t put yourself out there.

Perhaps you’ve had your heart broken in the past or you struggle with shyness – whatever the reason for your hesitation, it’s important to get past your nerves and make a commitment to meeting new people.

By its very nature, dating is a little bit nerve-racking and risky. It requires you to be vulnerable and open to new experiences. But rather than running a mile from it all, try to embrace it. Remember that any dates you do meet up with will be in exactly the same boat.

2. Meet people online and in real life
If you’re from an older generation, you’re probably more inclined to meet people in person rather than wade into the unknown world of dating apps. But if you’re younger, the thought of striking up conversation with a stranger in person might be downright terrifying.

In truth, the best way to meet someone is to try a combination of the two. Sign up to some online dating services, and at the same time make an effort to be sociable and meet people in real life. If talking to strangers at a bar isn’t your thing, try taking up a new activity such as an exercise class or a book club.

Imagine you’re chatting with a friend or family member – this takes the pressure off
Online apps can become a crutch for people who struggle with social interactions so try not to rely on them too heavily – you need to practise feeling comfortable around people in real life. It does get easier the more you do it.

3. Don’t overthink your flirting technique
Flirting is not always easy, but in most cases it fails when you overthink it, or try “pick-up artist” cheats or tricks to impress someone, rather than relying on your natural charms.


A good tip when talking to someone new (whether online or in person) is to imagine you’re chatting with a friend or family member – this takes the pressure off, letting you relax and be yourself.

When meeting people in real life, make the effort to make good eye contact and smile. Listen carefully when they speak, and engage with their stories by offering similar anecdotes. It’s OK to be tactile when flirting, but don’t overdo it – a light touch on the shoulder or hand now and again is fine, but more than that might make them uncomfortable.

Finally, remember the golden rule: if they tell you they’re not interested, or politely take themselves out of the conversation, don’t keep pursuing them.

4. Plan date venues where you’ll be in your element
The typical first-date venue is a chic bar or an expensive restaurant but, while there’s nothing wrong with either of these, they’re not always conducive to having a good time.

If you meet your date in a noisy, busy bar, you might struggle to find seats or even hear the other person speaking. Expensive restaurants, meanwhile, can make you feel pressured and uncomfortable.

Instead of going for something “impressive”, opt for a place you know well – whether it’s that Victorian pub near your home or your favourite independent pizzeria. Also, remember that you can try something a bit different. Don’t be afraid to suggest a day date such as a picnic in the park or a stroll around an art gallery.

If it’s in a venue where you’ll be in your element, the date will automatically go more smoothly.

5. Make a good impression on your first date
It may seem obvious, but on an initial date first impressions are crucial. The first and easiest step in making a good impression is to look your best; so before you head out, take some time perfecting your appearance.

Have a shower, spend a bit of time on your hair and make sure you wear something clean (and preferably freshly ironed). There’s no specific rule when it comes to first-date outfits, but it’s hard to go wrong with a fresh white shirt, dark jumper, and smart jeans or trousers. Trainers are A-OK as long as they’re fairly box-fresh.

Other than your appearance, making a good first impression is about being relaxed, confident and friendly. Confidence isn’t always easy to muster – so if you’re struggling, fake it ’til you make it!

6. Ask lots of questions
A favourite first-date tip for men is to ask lots of questions. This is particularly good advice if you struggle with shyness.

Just remember not to delve too deep too soon – keep the conversation light and easy by focusing on work, hobbies and travel plans. If they bring up deeper topics, then great – but early on in your relationship, oversharing or being too nosy about someone’s private life can be a turn-off and seem too intrusive.

Even more important, make sure you listen to your date’s answers, and ask lots of follow-up questions. Make a mental note of significant details (for example, the name of their dog or their favourite food), and mention these things later on to show them you’re interested.

Lastly, make sure you talk and open up about yourself as well. You don’t want them to leave the date not knowing a single thing about you.

7. Avoid checking your phone
It’s common in this day and age to be overly reliant on your phone, but on a date, constantly scrolling and reading messages is a huge no-no. Not only can a phone become a crutch that leaves you less well equipped to deal with social situations, using one on a date also indicates to the other person that they don’t have your full attention.

When you’re with your date, turn your phone onto silent and put it away
When you’re with your date, turn your phone onto silent and put it away. Leaving it on the table – even if it’s flipped over – means it’s still within easy reach.

8. Don’t come on too strong
It can be tricky to strike the perfect balance on a first date. You want to come across as confident but not arrogant, interested but not nosy, and polite but not old-fashioned. The same balance needs to be struck when it comes to showing romantic interest in your date.

Even if you’re already hearing wedding bells, you shouldn’t be too forward or assume that your date feels the same. Don’t be afraid to give a few compliments and tell them you’ve had a great time – but don’t expect too much. If you want to see them again, ask for a second date, but don’t be pushy if they seem hesitant or simply say no.

The old advice regarding playing hard to get isn’t a relationship rule to live by, but there’s certainly a benefit to holding some of your feelings back until you’ve got to know a person better.

9. Debrief with friends
One of the best things to do post-date is to talk it over with one or two trusted friends – whether or not it went well, and so on. Generally a pal who’s in a committed and happy long-term relationship is more likely to be helpful than one who’s into serial one-night stands.

If the date went well, you can talk to your friends about how to proceed – and get their advice on how to craft that perfect follow-up text. And if the date went badly? They’ll be guaranteed to cheer you up.
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chlamydia9000
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There's no rule that you shouldn't kiss on the first date. Every date I've been on has ended in a kiss. Main tips:
Get her drunk. Everything is easier when your drunk.
Don't seem over eager.
Establish some form of physical contact towards the end of the date. Like a small hug or brush against her leg.
Let her waffle and pretend to be very interested in what she's saying.
Talk a bit, but be mysterious. Don't splurge out everything on the first date.
Don't text her afterwards. Let her work for your approval (like training a dog).
Last edited by chlamydia9000; 1 month ago
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Foxehh
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Depends on how well the date went. Dont go with the intent of kissing her after the first date, but its not bad if thats where it ends up leading.
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Foxehh
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(Original post by 4Skin)
Get her drunk. Everything is easier when your drunk.
Sounds a bit rapey...
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Lwexi12
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(Original post by Foxehh)
Sounds a bit rapey...
i was gonna say that, but i didn't wanna sound rude hahaha
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the_pharaoh
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(Original post by Lwexi12)
1. Put yourself out there
Meeting someone special becomes virtually impossible if you don’t put yourself out there.

Perhaps you’ve had your heart broken in the past or you struggle with shyness – whatever the reason for your hesitation, it’s important to get past your nerves and make a commitment to meeting new people.

By its very nature, dating is a little bit nerve-racking and risky. It requires you to be vulnerable and open to new experiences. But rather than running a mile from it all, try to embrace it. Remember that any dates you do meet up with will be in exactly the same boat.

2. Meet people online and in real life
If you’re from an older generation, you’re probably more inclined to meet people in person rather than wade into the unknown world of dating apps. But if you’re younger, the thought of striking up conversation with a stranger in person might be downright terrifying.

In truth, the best way to meet someone is to try a combination of the two. Sign up to some online dating services, and at the same time make an effort to be sociable and meet people in real life. If talking to strangers at a bar isn’t your thing, try taking up a new activity such as an exercise class or a book club.

Imagine you’re chatting with a friend or family member – this takes the pressure off
Online apps can become a crutch for people who struggle with social interactions so try not to rely on them too heavily – you need to practise feeling comfortable around people in real life. It does get easier the more you do it.

3. Don’t overthink your flirting technique
Flirting is not always easy, but in most cases it fails when you overthink it, or try “pick-up artist” cheats or tricks to impress someone, rather than relying on your natural charms.


A good tip when talking to someone new (whether online or in person) is to imagine you’re chatting with a friend or family member – this takes the pressure off, letting you relax and be yourself.

When meeting people in real life, make the effort to make good eye contact and smile. Listen carefully when they speak, and engage with their stories by offering similar anecdotes. It’s OK to be tactile when flirting, but don’t overdo it – a light touch on the shoulder or hand now and again is fine, but more than that might make them uncomfortable.

Finally, remember the golden rule: if they tell you they’re not interested, or politely take themselves out of the conversation, don’t keep pursuing them.

4. Plan date venues where you’ll be in your element
The typical first-date venue is a chic bar or an expensive restaurant but, while there’s nothing wrong with either of these, they’re not always conducive to having a good time.

If you meet your date in a noisy, busy bar, you might struggle to find seats or even hear the other person speaking. Expensive restaurants, meanwhile, can make you feel pressured and uncomfortable.

Instead of going for something “impressive”, opt for a place you know well – whether it’s that Victorian pub near your home or your favourite independent pizzeria. Also, remember that you can try something a bit different. Don’t be afraid to suggest a day date such as a picnic in the park or a stroll around an art gallery.

If it’s in a venue where you’ll be in your element, the date will automatically go more smoothly.

5. Make a good impression on your first date
It may seem obvious, but on an initial date first impressions are crucial. The first and easiest step in making a good impression is to look your best; so before you head out, take some time perfecting your appearance.

Have a shower, spend a bit of time on your hair and make sure you wear something clean (and preferably freshly ironed). There’s no specific rule when it comes to first-date outfits, but it’s hard to go wrong with a fresh white shirt, dark jumper, and smart jeans or trousers. Trainers are A-OK as long as they’re fairly box-fresh.

Other than your appearance, making a good first impression is about being relaxed, confident and friendly. Confidence isn’t always easy to muster – so if you’re struggling, fake it ’til you make it!

6. Ask lots of questions
A favourite first-date tip for men is to ask lots of questions. This is particularly good advice if you struggle with shyness.

Just remember not to delve too deep too soon – keep the conversation light and easy by focusing on work, hobbies and travel plans. If they bring up deeper topics, then great – but early on in your relationship, oversharing or being too nosy about someone’s private life can be a turn-off and seem too intrusive.

Even more important, make sure you listen to your date’s answers, and ask lots of follow-up questions. Make a mental note of significant details (for example, the name of their dog or their favourite food), and mention these things later on to show them you’re interested.

Lastly, make sure you talk and open up about yourself as well. You don’t want them to leave the date not knowing a single thing about you.

7. Avoid checking your phone
It’s common in this day and age to be overly reliant on your phone, but on a date, constantly scrolling and reading messages is a huge no-no. Not only can a phone become a crutch that leaves you less well equipped to deal with social situations, using one on a date also indicates to the other person that they don’t have your full attention.

When you’re with your date, turn your phone onto silent and put it away
When you’re with your date, turn your phone onto silent and put it away. Leaving it on the table – even if it’s flipped over – means it’s still within easy reach.

8. Don’t come on too strong
It can be tricky to strike the perfect balance on a first date. You want to come across as confident but not arrogant, interested but not nosy, and polite but not old-fashioned. The same balance needs to be struck when it comes to showing romantic interest in your date.

Even if you’re already hearing wedding bells, you shouldn’t be too forward or assume that your date feels the same. Don’t be afraid to give a few compliments and tell them you’ve had a great time – but don’t expect too much. If you want to see them again, ask for a second date, but don’t be pushy if they seem hesitant or simply say no.

The old advice regarding playing hard to get isn’t a relationship rule to live by, but there’s certainly a benefit to holding some of your feelings back until you’ve got to know a person better.

9. Debrief with friends
One of the best things to do post-date is to talk it over with one or two trusted friends – whether or not it went well, and so on. Generally a pal who’s in a committed and happy long-term relationship is more likely to be helpful than one who’s into serial one-night stands.

If the date went well, you can talk to your friends about how to proceed – and get their advice on how to craft that perfect follow-up text. And if the date went badly? They’ll be guaranteed to cheer you up.
Great advice 👀

Altho I think he was talking about kissing on the first date explicitly not how to get a date 😂
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Lwexi12
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(Original post by the_pharaoh)
Great advice 👀

Altho I think he was talking about kissing on the first date explicitly not how to get a date 😂
well he did ask the bolded....

(Original post by Anonymous)
When is the appropriate time to kiss is there like a genuine rule not to kiss a woman after a first date due to disrespect? Any tips of dating is appreciated too as i'm inexperienced.
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the_pharaoh
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(Original post by Lwexi12)
well he did ask the bolded....
Oh ye my bad
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Lwexi12
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(Original post by the_pharaoh)
Oh ye my bad
mhm silly boy :rolleyes:
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Anonymous #2
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On the first date should you ask to kiss or just move in for a kiss?
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nathan1403
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(Original post by Anonymous)
On the first date should you ask to kiss or just move in for a kiss?
I don't think there's anything wrong with asking, in fact I think that's quite a nice thing to do, but some people might not find it romantic. What I'd recommend doing is move in and see whether the other person moves in too, give them a chance to back away if they don't want to kiss, don't just go in and stick your tongue down their throat

I've only ever been on one first date but we did have a kiss
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Baby_Stitch
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(Original post by Foxehh)
Sounds a bit rapey...
Agreed, I think having a drink on a first date is fine but set the limits.
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kaimcgyver
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(Original post by 4Skin)
There's no rule that you shouldn't kiss on the first date. Every date I've been on has ended in a kiss. Main tips:
Get her drunk. Everything is easier when your drunk.
Don't seem over eager.
Establish some form of physical contact towards the end of the date. Like a small hug or brush against her leg.
Let her waffle and pretend to be very interested in what she's saying.
Talk a bit, but be mysterious. Don't splurge out everything on the first date.
Don't text her afterwards. Let her work for your approval (like training a dog).
This dude is right, she needs some alcohol in her to make her more relax ( no bad intention here, I think just even 1 is ok).....I brought a girl on a date at my place, she didn't drink, so only I drank, near the end of the date, I went in for the kiss.....she turned her face and said No.....that's the worst, my heart sunk, it was all over.
Last edited by kaimcgyver; 1 month ago
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Dunnig Kruger
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There are various strategies for kissing. For example:

1 Get it over and done with. Kiss her on the lips when you first meet. Maybe give her a 2nd kiss straight away after the first, then get on with the date. If she pulls away you can say "I just wanted to whisper something to you." Or "You've clearly made a lot of effort before coming out tonight. I just wanted to give you a little reward and thank-you for doing so."

2 touch her. As you're talking. Starting with innocent places, like her arms or shoulders. Then take the touch away. Then touch her again and gauge her reaction. The kiss will come naturally. If she's telling you something like how her ex cheated on her, that's a good time to hold her hands as she's telling you this and look into her eyes and listen well.

3 At what seems like an appropriate time ask her "Would you like to kiss me?" If she says yes or is silent, kiss her. If she says "I'm not sure." reply with "Well let's find out" and go ahead and kiss. If she says "No." say "Yeah we probably don't know each other well enough yet. And I'm not sure if I'd have the self control right now not to get carried away."

4 If you've been talking well with each other; shut up and look at her eyes, nose, mouth, eyes. Let the tension build. then lean in. If she pulls away, follow the steps from 1.

I'm sure there are other valid strategies.

Overall kissing is no big deal. If you treat it as no big deal and something you do naturally, she's more likely to treat it as no big deal.

As a general tip how you have a conversation is more important than what you talk about. For example, if she tells you she's a shop assistant, most guys would say something like "That's interesting. Which shop do you work at?... Oh yeah, my mum shops there..." A better response would be something cheeky and off the wall, like "Let me guess which shop you work at?... I know, it's Ann Summers isn't it? I bet you love trying on all the costumes and playing with all those sex toys... Nah, just kidding, I think you're a meat and two veg kind of gal..."
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Baby_Stitch
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
There are various strategies for kissing. For example:

1 Get it over and done with. Kiss her on the lips when you first meet. Maybe give her a 2nd kiss straight away after the first, then get on with the date. If she pulls away you can say "I just wanted to whisper something to you." Or "You've clearly made a lot of effort before coming out tonight. I just wanted to give you a little reward and thank-you for doing so."

2 touch her. As you're talking. Starting with innocent places, like her arms or shoulders. Then take the touch away. Then touch her again and gauge her reaction. The kiss will come naturally. If she's telling you something like how her ex cheated on her, that's a good time to hold her hands as she's telling you this and look into her eyes and listen well.

3 At what seems like an appropriate time ask her "Would you like to kiss me?" If she says yes or is silent, kiss her. If she says "I'm not sure." reply with "Well let's find out" and go ahead and kiss. If she says "No." say "Yeah we probably don't know each other well enough yet. And I'm not sure if I'd have the self control right now not to get carried away."

4 If you've been talking well with each other; shut up and look at her eyes, nose, mouth, eyes. Let the tension build. then lean in. If she pulls away, follow the steps from 1.

I'm sure there are other valid strategies.

Overall kissing is no big deal. If you treat it as no big deal and something you do naturally, she's more likely to treat it as no big deal.

As a general tip how you have a conversation is more important than what you talk about. For example, if she tells you she's a shop assistant, most guys would say something like "That's interesting. Which shop do you work at?... Oh yeah, my mum shops there..." A better response would be something cheeky and off the wall, like "Let me guess which shop you work at?... I know, it's Ann Summers isn't it? I bet you love trying on all the costumes and playing with all those sex toys... Nah, just kidding, I think you're a meat and two veg kind of gal..."
I’m ngl the Ann Summers line would be a turn-off and I’m not even a girl. It sounds corny af
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Baby_Stitch)
I’m ngl the Ann Summers line would be a turn-off and I’m not even a girl. It sounds corny af
A lot of humour is cliched and corny.

And it's part of the idea, to sometimes say something that will possibly result in a negative emotion from the woman. Instead of just coming out with stuff to please her all the time. All without being excessively obnoxiously rude and insulting. Where the boundaries are between teasing a woman and insulting her, will depend on the woman and the circumstances.

And there is a big difference between reading something on a forum vs it being said to you during a date. Because of the tone of voice, facial expression etc.
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GoldHeart
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(Original post by Lwexi12)
i was gonna say that, but i didn't wanna sound rude hahaha
There is nothing wrong with being rude, if it is necessary.
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Zarek
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If you clearly mutually fancy the pants of each other first date kiss is no problem. Indeed the kissing may precedes the date. If it’s more testing the waters and hoping for a 2nd date then I would wait till that one.
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