why does my heart sink everytime a guy says this ( I feel so childish and dumb)

So I have never been in a relationship and im nearly 22. I am very insecure but I get told im pretty when I look good. I say im too ugly but if I wanted to Icouldve been in one I guess however im too fussy and find it hard to find anyone just attractive. So due to my lack of relationships I have never done anything with anyone and now that Im looking for a relationship I am dating apps.Every single guy has been in a relationship and when they tell me my heart always sinks. Id rather them have experience but without being in a relationshop because then that way they dont have that connection to somoene. I dont know what it is. I dont know if their experience of doing stuff scares me or if them being close to another girl emotionally scare me and that I dont want to be compared to another girl. I always get this feelingand I try to brush it off because theyre talking to me for a reason and they do like me and fancy me but I still get it.Does anyone else feel like this

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

So I have never been in a relationship and im nearly 22. I am very insecure but I get told im pretty when I look good. I say im too ugly but if I wanted to Icouldve been in one I guess however im too fussy and find it hard to find anyone just attractive. So due to my lack of relationships I have never done anything with anyone and now that Im looking for a relationship I am dating apps.Every single guy has been in a relationship and when they tell me my heart always sinks. Id rather them have experience but without being in a relationshop because then that way they dont have that connection to somoene. I dont know what it is. I dont know if their experience of doing stuff scares me or if them being close to another girl emotionally scare me and that I dont want to be compared to another girl. I always get this feelingand I try to brush it off because theyre talking to me for a reason and they do like me and fancy me but I still get it.Does anyone else feel like this?

Lol you have this easy as a girl, guys suffer much more from this sort of thing. If you feel like having some sexual experience would benefit you, find someone to hookup with and if desired never see them again. Your 22 and I think this sort of feeling is a bit childish, many people have had girlfriends by that age its not an insult to you lol.

Reply 2

Satori Tendō

19

You want to find a guy who's attractive and has never been in a relationship? You need to sacrifice one or the other, the two rarely coexist lol

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

You know, sometimes I feel a bit similar with my boyfriend. We’re both 19, but when he was 16 he had a 2 year on off relationship with a girl who is still somewhat a friend of a friend now to someone in his friendship group so there’s a connection.
However -
I remind myself that I’m at the stage of my life where 90% of people including you have had /someone/. Whether it be a relationship, hook up, talking stage, even a silly crush.
Letting this hold you back from dating someone isn’t going to do any favours :smile:

It’s best to understand that there’s a reason they’re not dating them anymore, and if it does seem that they are hung up on someone - take that as a red flag and find someone else (for eg, if they mention them numerous times on one of the first few dates)

Reply 4

Darksilver

13

Original post by Anonymous

Lol you have this easy as a girl, guys suffer much more from this sort of thing. If you feel like having some sexual experience would benefit you, find someone to hookup with and if desired never see them again. Your 22 and I think this sort of feeling is a bit childish, many people have had girlfriends by that age its not an insult to you lol.

This is not good advice.

Reply 5

Darksilver

13

Original post by Anonymous

So I have never been in a relationship and im nearly 22. I am very insecure but I get told im pretty when I look good. I say im too ugly but if I wanted to Icouldve been in one I guess however im too fussy and find it hard to find anyone just attractive. So due to my lack of relationships I have never done anything with anyone and now that Im looking for a relationship I am dating apps.Every single guy has been in a relationship and when they tell me my heart always sinks. Id rather them have experience but without being in a relationshop because then that way they dont have that connection to somoene. I dont know what it is. I dont know if their experience of doing stuff scares me or if them being close to another girl emotionally scare me and that I dont want to be compared to another girl. I always get this feelingand I try to brush it off because theyre talking to me for a reason and they do like me and fancy me but I still get it.Does anyone else feel like this

First off, going into a relationship insecure is a big NO NO, it almost never turns out well for a plethora of reasons. I would say focus on yourself, do some research (YouTube is great) on how to be more confident before going into a relationship.

I am free to have a discussion or answer any questions :smile:

Reply 6

username4899406

21

You won't even recognise the difference as towhether a guy has previously been genuine with someone or not, because you are naïve (it's not your fault but it is the reality)
You will get your heart broken almost certainly, it is pretty much impossible to find the love of your life the first time round
And you will be all the better for it

By then you will realise what true love is and be in a good position to deal with the lows as well as highs
That's just the way life goes

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by Darksilver

This is not good advice.

She said her inexperience could cause her anxiety, so i suggested hooking up. She is 22, im not asking her to murder someone and its her choice?

Reply 8

Darksilver

13

Original post by Anonymous

She said her inexperience could cause her anxiety, so i suggested hooking up. She is 22, im not asking her to murder someone and its her choice?

Hooking up isn’t going to fix the problem which is mainly her insecurity. Simple.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Darksilver

Hooking up isn’t going to fix the problem which is mainly her insecurity. Simple.

yes its not something I would do. If I really wanted to lose it I could get with a fboy and do that easily but its not who I am and doesnt fit with my morals. You are right its my insecurity

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

You know, sometimes I feel a bit similar with my boyfriend. We’re both 19, but when he was 16 he had a 2 year on off relationship with a girl who is still somewhat a friend of a friend now to someone in his friendship group so there’s a connection.
However -
I remind myself that I’m at the stage of my life where 90% of people including you have had /someone/. Whether it be a relationship, hook up, talking stage, even a silly crush.
Letting this hold you back from dating someone isn’t going to do any favours :smile:

It’s best to understand that there’s a reason they’re not dating them anymore, and if it does seem that they are hung up on someone - take that as a red flag and find someone else (for eg, if they mention them numerous times on one of the first few dates)

Thank you girl. I also try to thnik teh same of you that most of use have had someone. Even though I am not someone with experience I have had a lot of talking stages, phone calls, crushes etc <3

Reply 11

username4449440

21

Original post by Anonymous

So I have never been in a relationship and im nearly 22. I am very insecure but I get told im pretty when I look good. I say im too ugly but if I wanted to Icouldve been in one I guess however im too fussy and find it hard to find anyone just attractive. So due to my lack of relationships I have never done anything with anyone and now that Im looking for a relationship I am dating apps.Every single guy has been in a relationship and when they tell me my heart always sinks. Id rather them have experience but without being in a relationshop because then that way they dont have that connection to somoene. I dont know what it is. I dont know if their experience of doing stuff scares me or if them being close to another girl emotionally scare me and that I dont want to be compared to another girl. I always get this feelingand I try to brush it off because theyre talking to me for a reason and they do like me and fancy me but I still get it.Does anyone else feel like this

Then just find a guy who's never been in a relationship then 😂
which is extremely hard but not impossible

Reply 12

SlaveofAll

21

Original post by Anonymous

So I have never been in a relationship and im nearly 22. I am very insecure but I get told im pretty when I look good. I say im too ugly but if I wanted to Icouldve been in one I guess however im too fussy and find it hard to find anyone just attractive. So due to my lack of relationships I have never done anything with anyone and now that Im looking for a relationship I am dating apps.Every single guy has been in a relationship and when they tell me my heart always sinks. Id rather them have experience but without being in a relationshop because then that way they dont have that connection to somoene. I dont know what it is. I dont know if their experience of doing stuff scares me or if them being close to another girl emotionally scare me and that I dont want to be compared to another girl. I always get this feelingand I try to brush it off because theyre talking to me for a reason and they do like me and fancy me but I still get it.Does anyone else feel like this