Long distance bf falling asleep without calling

Am I childish for getting mad at my boyfriend for constantly falling asleep without calling me?
We are long distance and we have this thing where we call each other at the end of the day. That’s the only time we speak on the phone.
He fell asleep so many times and didn’t end up calling which is making me think he doesn’t even wanna talk. The first few times I didn’t get mad bc I’m aware people can just fall asleep accidentally, but it literally happens a few times a week. Makes me feel so disconnected from him since that’s the only time we can actually speak properly as during the day we’re both busy so texting is limited.
He fell asleep 2 nights ago again and I told him it really bothers me and he apologised and said it won’t happen again. Last night he fell asleep again. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t call me when he feels like he’s getting tired? He just waits to fall asleep. If I call him then he won’t, but sometimes I just wish he would call me.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I understand how fustrating it can be when this happens. My bf has done it a few times but i have also done it a few times. And everytime we done have done it is because we were just really really tired. I cant describe how it was for my bf but usually me, i rest my head because im so tired, i have no plans on sleeping through the night, just resting, but i ended up falling asleep.

If your bf is really tired, although it can be annoying because that's the only time you guys get to speak on the phone and spend time together, you just have to be understanding that he's really tired. Maybe call him a little earlier, or during the day if u can, or in the mornings. Just call whenever you can.

but i do get how hard it is, it makes you feel like they don't want to spend time with you or talk to you, for me, i just had to get over it and learn to understand.
if you guys both go to uni, maybe you can study on call together, that's what me and my bf do. or watch movies and youtube on discord together.

If you have expressed your concerns and he's still not putting effort into change, or find a solution then you might need to rethink ur relationship in terms of, if he ever makes scarfices for you, or just lives selfishly everyday. if he only spends time with u when its convenient for him then you guys need to talk about it

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

If it bothers you, talk to him about your feelings and why falling asleep on the phone with him is so important to you. But please be aware that he is an individual that sometimes maybe doesn't want to talk after a long, tiring day. Doesn't mean he loves you any less, but personal space is important for a healthy relationship (imo). Maybe he just needs some "me-time" after his stressful work day.

Reply 3

StriderHort

21

If you're both too busy all day to talk then maybe he's regularly knackered and doesn't want to sit on the phone at night.

Reply 4

Meheraj

19

Original post by Anonymous

Am I childish for getting mad at my boyfriend for constantly falling asleep without calling me?
We are long distance and we have this thing where we call each other at the end of the day. That’s the only time we speak on the phone.
He fell asleep so many times and didn’t end up calling which is making me think he doesn’t even wanna talk. The first few times I didn’t get mad bc I’m aware people can just fall asleep accidentally, but it literally happens a few times a week. Makes me feel so disconnected from him since that’s the only time we can actually speak properly as during the day we’re both busy so texting is limited.
He fell asleep 2 nights ago again and I told him it really bothers me and he apologised and said it won’t happen again. Last night he fell asleep again. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t call me when he feels like he’s getting tired? He just waits to fall asleep. If I call him then he won’t, but sometimes I just wish he would call me.

One thing you can do is talk to him when it's daytime for both of you. It might be challenging to do, but make sure you try. Or just ask him about your relationship since he's not showing his efforts towards you. The last sentence is a great one, and I would love to see someone does that for me. No matter how busy your boyfriend is, he should make some effort to balance everything.

Reply 5

StriderHort

21

Original post by Meheraj

One thing you can do is talk to him when it's daytime for both of you. It might be challenging to do, but make sure you try. Or just ask him about your relationship since he's not showing his efforts towards you. The last sentence is a great one, and I would love to see someone does that for me. No matter how busy your boyfriend is, he should make some effort to balance everything.

That could be a stones in glass houses scenario since the OP doesn't seem to be making much effort to balance their day either if it's 'End of night or nothing'.

Reply 6

Meheraj

19

Original post by StriderHort

That could be a stones in glass houses scenario since the OP doesn't seem to be making much effort to balance their day either if it's 'End of night or nothing'.

Perhaps it could be. But hopefully, that doesn't happen.

Reply 7

black tea

19

Can you not arrange to speak at an earlier time? You can't both be busy from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep... If you have time to text, you have time to speak to each other.

Reply 8

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous

Am I childish for getting mad at my boyfriend for constantly falling asleep without calling me?
We are long distance and we have this thing where we call each other at the end of the day. That’s the only time we speak on the phone.
He fell asleep so many times and didn’t end up calling which is making me think he doesn’t even wanna talk. The first few times I didn’t get mad bc I’m aware people can just fall asleep accidentally, but it literally happens a few times a week. Makes me feel so disconnected from him since that’s the only time we can actually speak properly as during the day we’re both busy so texting is limited.
He fell asleep 2 nights ago again and I told him it really bothers me and he apologised and said it won’t happen again. Last night he fell asleep again. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t call me when he feels like he’s getting tired? He just waits to fall asleep. If I call him then he won’t, but sometimes I just wish he would call me.

Tell him, but he's showing a huge lack of interest and taking you for granted not giving value to your time and attention. I would dump him, so disrespectful.

Reply 9

Anonymous #5

You should be able to speak to him about this, and he should be willing to listen, because after all he is your bf..

Reply 10

Fab0lousBabe

I have the same issue with my long distance boyfriend. We speak throughout the day however I value our conversation at night a lot. And he tends to fall asleep a lot. I understand he is an individual and isn’t always going to be able to speak to me but I have every right to feel upset about it if it is a reoccurring issue, which he isn’t willing to fix. I would say you should let him know how you feel about it and hopefully he does what he can to make you feel better because I’m sure if he had an issue you’d do what you could to make things better. It’s all about understanding eachother’s wants and needs. And relationships aren’t about 50/50 it should be 100% from both partners.

Reply 11

Zarek

21

It some mixture of his body clock being different and not valuing this routine as much as you. Maybe find an early time or reduce the number of scheduled evening calls

Long distance bf falling asleep without calling

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