Unsure what to do with university, life
I don't really like talking to people about my problems so I thought I'd take a shot here, I'm 20, turning 21 in March. I went to university as I finished A-Levels and I dropped out because I wasn't really enjoying it but it was also me being lazy and just overall burn out and since I wasn't too interested in my course, I thought I'd just take a break and try think about what I really want to do. So, psychology didn't work out.Fast forward to the next September and I find myself doing computer science, and yet again, it's something that I didn't enjoy and so I didn't pursue it any further even though I was passing my classes and doing overall good just like I was with psychology, I just wasn't interested in it at all. But I did enjoy Psychology much more than computer science.And now here I am, 20 with two years of nothing at university, I do still want to go in the upcoming September but I constantly just find myself short, I don't know, I've tried thinking about what I'd like to do but nothing stands out as a passion to me, I always ask people what they want to be or why did they pick their course and their reasoning never resonates with me, I can't find what I want to do or what I'm passionate about and I've tried endless ways of trying new things, quizzes, thinking about career paths and I just always find myself stuck.I do hope to go back to university in September and I'll be 21 which isn't the end of the world, I know but it does feel like it. All my classmates from school are graduating and here I am just starting again and I still haven't figured out what I want to do. I'm generally pretty hard on myself so this all has been really suffocating and as I said since I don't like talking to people, I thought I'd take a chance on here for some advice.
Hey there
First thing - you're not alone, either in being burned out or in not knowing what you want to do. I know how you feel. I did Law at a good uni and got a decent 2:1, but it felt like a waste of time because I just did not enjoy the course or find any value in it. I tell you this to let you know that you don't lose anything by leaving a course that you know isn't right for you. Don't be so hard on yourself. IMO, we are asked to decide what we want to do WAY too early in life. How the hell is a 17 year old A Level student supposed to know what they want to do for the rest of their life? Trust me, you did the right thing by stopping if you knew it wasn't right for you. I ploughed on through my undergrad, masters, postgrad training, qualifying as a lawyer, almost having a mental breakdown and almost trapping myself in a bad relationship with marriage and a house before finally admitting to myself that I hate law and don't want to do it anymore. Think about it; would you really want to be like me? Of course not, you did the right thing dude.
So what do you do know? Well, here's some advice if it helps you (and it's okay if it doesn't, the right answer is out there and it will come):
1) DON'T PANIC. Repeat, DO NOT PANIC. You're not even 21. This is the absolutely prime of your life. So bloody well enjoy yourself. It's totally okay to not know what you want to do yet. The brain doesn't even fully develop until like 26, and apparently one of the last things to develop is the ability to do long-term planning. So just relax a little. Worrying about what you want to do for the rest of your life at age 21 is like worrying about what you will buy for Christmas presents in 2030.
2) Get some perspective. Perhaps you might like to re-evaluate what matters to you in life. Work is not everything. Don't define your life by your career or by what you study at uni. Uni and work are one part of life. Don't listen to that stupid little voice that says you absolutely MUST know this second what you want to do until you retire or die! Think about yourself and where you are now. What things outside of work and uni are you looking for? Maybe with covid dying down (hopefully) you can travel? Find some hobbies and make friends. Read some good books that challenge how you see your life. Learn a language, an instrument or a skill. Why not learn to kayak, blacksmith, give CPR or learn the lifecycle of stars? Basically focus on the other areas of your life and do the fun stuff while you're young. There's time for serious stuff later - put it off as long as you can!
3) Look after yourself. Make sure you eat 3 healthy meals a day, don't or stop smoking. Don't drink too much. Exercise 3 times a week, socialise at least once a week and get 8 hours of sleep. Drink two litres of water a day, have one good laugh a day and do one fun thing at least every day. It might sound basic, but if you don't get the basics right, you're not in any places to decide the higher level stuff. This isn't basic, it's the fundamental, the foundation your whole life is built on. So get it right and don't compromise your health or happiness for anything.
4) Think about this: What do YOU want to do. Not mum and dad, not partner, not friends, not society, not professors, not employers, not what looks good or sounds impressive or pays well or has high social status or any of that BS. What do YOU actually want to do? What do you like doing? Brainstorm but do it in a fun way. Don't put a time limit on it or think you need to find a right answer. Dude, you have YEARS to decide this. Let yourself dream and dream big. Be creative as you like or not, but don't limit yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. I believe in you.
5) Try stuff out. Too often we get stuck in the abstract with jobs and uni. But you can't theorise about whether you will like stuff. You need to try it out. Try different jobs and see what clicks with you. Your 20s is the best time to do that. Try stuff out. Change your mind as many times as you like and forget what other people want you to do. It's your life and you only get one. It can end at any time, so don't waste it living another person's life. Do what you want to do. Just do what you feel and know that you can always change your mind. What you like doing now, you might not like in 5 years AND THAT IS TOTALLY OKAY. Just do the right as you see the right and go with your gut.
I hope that helps dude. Much love and good luck. You're gonna be fine man. I'm doing a whole other degree at 28 so you got no worries.
First thing - you're not alone, either in being burned out or in not knowing what you want to do. I know how you feel. I did Law at a good uni and got a decent 2:1, but it felt like a waste of time because I just did not enjoy the course or find any value in it. I tell you this to let you know that you don't lose anything by leaving a course that you know isn't right for you. Don't be so hard on yourself. IMO, we are asked to decide what we want to do WAY too early in life. How the hell is a 17 year old A Level student supposed to know what they want to do for the rest of their life? Trust me, you did the right thing by stopping if you knew it wasn't right for you. I ploughed on through my undergrad, masters, postgrad training, qualifying as a lawyer, almost having a mental breakdown and almost trapping myself in a bad relationship with marriage and a house before finally admitting to myself that I hate law and don't want to do it anymore. Think about it; would you really want to be like me? Of course not, you did the right thing dude.
So what do you do know? Well, here's some advice if it helps you (and it's okay if it doesn't, the right answer is out there and it will come):
1) DON'T PANIC. Repeat, DO NOT PANIC. You're not even 21. This is the absolutely prime of your life. So bloody well enjoy yourself. It's totally okay to not know what you want to do yet. The brain doesn't even fully develop until like 26, and apparently one of the last things to develop is the ability to do long-term planning. So just relax a little. Worrying about what you want to do for the rest of your life at age 21 is like worrying about what you will buy for Christmas presents in 2030.
2) Get some perspective. Perhaps you might like to re-evaluate what matters to you in life. Work is not everything. Don't define your life by your career or by what you study at uni. Uni and work are one part of life. Don't listen to that stupid little voice that says you absolutely MUST know this second what you want to do until you retire or die! Think about yourself and where you are now. What things outside of work and uni are you looking for? Maybe with covid dying down (hopefully) you can travel? Find some hobbies and make friends. Read some good books that challenge how you see your life. Learn a language, an instrument or a skill. Why not learn to kayak, blacksmith, give CPR or learn the lifecycle of stars? Basically focus on the other areas of your life and do the fun stuff while you're young. There's time for serious stuff later - put it off as long as you can!
3) Look after yourself. Make sure you eat 3 healthy meals a day, don't or stop smoking. Don't drink too much. Exercise 3 times a week, socialise at least once a week and get 8 hours of sleep. Drink two litres of water a day, have one good laugh a day and do one fun thing at least every day. It might sound basic, but if you don't get the basics right, you're not in any places to decide the higher level stuff. This isn't basic, it's the fundamental, the foundation your whole life is built on. So get it right and don't compromise your health or happiness for anything.
4) Think about this: What do YOU want to do. Not mum and dad, not partner, not friends, not society, not professors, not employers, not what looks good or sounds impressive or pays well or has high social status or any of that BS. What do YOU actually want to do? What do you like doing? Brainstorm but do it in a fun way. Don't put a time limit on it or think you need to find a right answer. Dude, you have YEARS to decide this. Let yourself dream and dream big. Be creative as you like or not, but don't limit yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. I believe in you.
5) Try stuff out. Too often we get stuck in the abstract with jobs and uni. But you can't theorise about whether you will like stuff. You need to try it out. Try different jobs and see what clicks with you. Your 20s is the best time to do that. Try stuff out. Change your mind as many times as you like and forget what other people want you to do. It's your life and you only get one. It can end at any time, so don't waste it living another person's life. Do what you want to do. Just do what you feel and know that you can always change your mind. What you like doing now, you might not like in 5 years AND THAT IS TOTALLY OKAY. Just do the right as you see the right and go with your gut.
I hope that helps dude. Much love and good luck. You're gonna be fine man. I'm doing a whole other degree at 28 so you got no worries.
Hey, thanks for the detailed reply.
I agree with a lot of what you said but also, it's just the pressure of family and other factors; I'm not even close to figuring out what I'd like to do, I feel like I'm wasting my life and nowhere near figuring anything out, whilst a lot of my peers that I finished sixth form will be graduating this academic year - so it does feel hopeless. I'm not usually one to overthink or panic but I would like to do much more with my life and I've just been having so much difficulty trying to find the right direction.
I like the point on perspective, there's such a heavy emphasis on work and academics and pressure from family and friends that it does seem like the end of the world when the academic side of it isn't going right but even so, I do feel like if I don't get back on the right track, I'll just be disappointing myself and everyone around me, I really do want to find out what I want to do as soon as possible instead of "wasting" more years. I do look after myself and regularly exercise, I feel like I do pretty well in most other things but academics is the one thing that I've been really struggling to find any sort of progression or path in.
How did you find out what degree you wanted to do at 28? Thanks again, I'm sure you'll crush whatever you're doing now.
I agree with a lot of what you said but also, it's just the pressure of family and other factors; I'm not even close to figuring out what I'd like to do, I feel like I'm wasting my life and nowhere near figuring anything out, whilst a lot of my peers that I finished sixth form will be graduating this academic year - so it does feel hopeless. I'm not usually one to overthink or panic but I would like to do much more with my life and I've just been having so much difficulty trying to find the right direction.
I like the point on perspective, there's such a heavy emphasis on work and academics and pressure from family and friends that it does seem like the end of the world when the academic side of it isn't going right but even so, I do feel like if I don't get back on the right track, I'll just be disappointing myself and everyone around me, I really do want to find out what I want to do as soon as possible instead of "wasting" more years. I do look after myself and regularly exercise, I feel like I do pretty well in most other things but academics is the one thing that I've been really struggling to find any sort of progression or path in.
How did you find out what degree you wanted to do at 28? Thanks again, I'm sure you'll crush whatever you're doing now.
No worries man, we all need a little kindness from time to time. If I'm reading you rightly, it seems like the pressure to pick a job is largely coming from outside of you, i.e. from family and friends, as well as your judgment of yourself. You've mentioned a few times that you're a bit worried because your peers will be graduating and you won't as if you're worried they will somehow be "ahead" of you. In fact, in some ways they are behind you - WAY behind. A lot of people stumble into a course, stumble into a job, stumble into a relationship and stumble into a life patter that allows them to safely tiptoe through their life all the way to their death - god forbid they should upset the applecart with things like what they actually want from life or questioning what the value in their contribution really is.
You're actually taking a mature look at what you want to do. That must be coming from somewhere. Somewhere deep down you're asking not a how question or a what question, but a why question. Those other guys and gals who are graduating don't have that why figured out, at least not all of them and probably not even half of them. You're asking why you should do a particular course or pursue a particular career, and that comes from you finding your own sense of value in it. And the only way to know whether there is value in something is to explore lots of career fields with an open, curious mind, to allow yourself to be excited by and reject ideas, and to ask questions about those careers. I have a pretty out there answer for you, but it is one that has helped me a great deal in trying to conceptualise my life and the path that I want to take.
Nietzsche, the philosopher, explained this in a good metaphor. He said that we all start our lives as sheep. We spend our lives safely in the paddock being told what to do by the shepherd. That can be our boss, our parents, our uni tutor or whatever. Most of the sheep will stay sheep forever, and will die in the paddock. However, a few of the sheep want more than that, and they transform themselves into camels. Why a camel? A camel is a beast of burden, it carries heavy loads on its back and walks out into the desert. That's what you're doing now. You're looking around this paddock, seeing these other sheep and thinking "why aren't I like that?" "how come I don't know what I want from my life?" "what is my passion?" "what is the right direction for me". It seems to you like the other sheep have already asked that question and found the answer; why can't you find the answer?! In fact, those sheep haven't found the answer - they haven't even begun asking the question! They aren't thinking about their passion or direction in life, they're just hoping to get another mouthful of grass. They go to uni because they're told to go to uni. They get a job because they're told to get a job. They don't change course, because they are told they can't or because it doesn't even occur to them. But you ARE asking these questions, because you're a camel. You want to know more about what you value from a career and a life plan.
In Nietzsche's metaphor, the camel then walks out into the wilderness, which is where you're heading now. The camel is supposed to wander off by itself, taking on the burdens on gaining knowledge. What does that mean? It means taking on the responsibility and hard task of trying out things, reading the words of clever and interesting people, of failing and trying again and of accumulating knowledge and life experience. The problem is, that you're still trying to get back into the paddock with the sheep, but you're not a sheep. So don't try to be one. Get out into the wilderness and try some jobs, try some shorter courses, try reading books on a subject before picking a degree, try volunteering in that field, try it in a new place or even a new country if you can. You need to give yourself that room to grow. What's really "wasting" years: going back to the paddock, or having the courage to search the wilderness, where you very well might make your fortune? The downside is yes it is dangerous in the Wilderness. You can get hurt, lost or even die. But isn't that risk worth the chance of finding the right life for you instead of wasting it in a safe little paddock? For me it is, but only you can make that decision for yourself. That's all part of being a camel.
Now, if you do this, you will take on a lot of knowledge and experience that will transform you. But that's not playing by the rules of society, like the sheep are supposed to. So sooner or later, in Nietzsche's metaphor, a Dragon is going to turn up. That Dragon will be called "Thou Shalt". On each scale of the Dragon's armour, there will be an admonition etched into it: - PICK A JOB - PICK A COURSE - PICK A CAREER - CATCH UP WITH THE OTHER STUDENTS - SETTLE DOWN - BUY A HOUSE - FALL IN LINE - FORGET YOUR PASSION - and so on. And Thou Shalt is going to demand that you bow down and obey all these commands, and that you get your arse back into the paddock with the sheep.
What the hell is this all about? Well, the Dragon represents an authority figure or figures. That could be your parents, tutors or whoever. It could even be the negative part of yourself, that little nagging voice of "I should have picked a job by now". Nietzsche says we have a choice here. You can either bow down, and obey the Dragon. That's game over. Or, you can kill the Dragon (figuratively, don't actually kill anyone haha). If the Camel decides it is brave enough to take on the Dragon, it transforms itself into a Lion. And the Lion has two weapons - 1) 'NO!" and 2) "I WILL!". The first one, the NO, is to reject the claims that these arbitrary authorities make on you. "You need to decide" Answer? NO! "Your friends have graduated, you need to hurry up and do the same". Answer? NO! "You have to do what we want you to do". Answer? NO!. The Second one, the "I WILL" is just that - you express YOUR own will. You make the decisions, no one else. You don't care about their opinion, because it isn't important. You make your own choices, and carve out your own destiny.
If you do this, you win. You kill the Dragon and now you rule the Wilderness. What now? Well, now the Lion can finally make the final transformation - into the Child. Why a child? The Child represents our curiosity, our innate wisdom, our freedom and our ability to play, learn, enjoy, explore, grow, mature and make our decisions. At this point, you can change your mind and it won't matter. You're the ruler of wilderness, so no one can challenge you. And you have the wisdom of the child, so you don't judge yourself.
I know that's all a little abstract, but it worked for me. I hope that helps.
You're actually taking a mature look at what you want to do. That must be coming from somewhere. Somewhere deep down you're asking not a how question or a what question, but a why question. Those other guys and gals who are graduating don't have that why figured out, at least not all of them and probably not even half of them. You're asking why you should do a particular course or pursue a particular career, and that comes from you finding your own sense of value in it. And the only way to know whether there is value in something is to explore lots of career fields with an open, curious mind, to allow yourself to be excited by and reject ideas, and to ask questions about those careers. I have a pretty out there answer for you, but it is one that has helped me a great deal in trying to conceptualise my life and the path that I want to take.
Nietzsche, the philosopher, explained this in a good metaphor. He said that we all start our lives as sheep. We spend our lives safely in the paddock being told what to do by the shepherd. That can be our boss, our parents, our uni tutor or whatever. Most of the sheep will stay sheep forever, and will die in the paddock. However, a few of the sheep want more than that, and they transform themselves into camels. Why a camel? A camel is a beast of burden, it carries heavy loads on its back and walks out into the desert. That's what you're doing now. You're looking around this paddock, seeing these other sheep and thinking "why aren't I like that?" "how come I don't know what I want from my life?" "what is my passion?" "what is the right direction for me". It seems to you like the other sheep have already asked that question and found the answer; why can't you find the answer?! In fact, those sheep haven't found the answer - they haven't even begun asking the question! They aren't thinking about their passion or direction in life, they're just hoping to get another mouthful of grass. They go to uni because they're told to go to uni. They get a job because they're told to get a job. They don't change course, because they are told they can't or because it doesn't even occur to them. But you ARE asking these questions, because you're a camel. You want to know more about what you value from a career and a life plan.
In Nietzsche's metaphor, the camel then walks out into the wilderness, which is where you're heading now. The camel is supposed to wander off by itself, taking on the burdens on gaining knowledge. What does that mean? It means taking on the responsibility and hard task of trying out things, reading the words of clever and interesting people, of failing and trying again and of accumulating knowledge and life experience. The problem is, that you're still trying to get back into the paddock with the sheep, but you're not a sheep. So don't try to be one. Get out into the wilderness and try some jobs, try some shorter courses, try reading books on a subject before picking a degree, try volunteering in that field, try it in a new place or even a new country if you can. You need to give yourself that room to grow. What's really "wasting" years: going back to the paddock, or having the courage to search the wilderness, where you very well might make your fortune? The downside is yes it is dangerous in the Wilderness. You can get hurt, lost or even die. But isn't that risk worth the chance of finding the right life for you instead of wasting it in a safe little paddock? For me it is, but only you can make that decision for yourself. That's all part of being a camel.
Now, if you do this, you will take on a lot of knowledge and experience that will transform you. But that's not playing by the rules of society, like the sheep are supposed to. So sooner or later, in Nietzsche's metaphor, a Dragon is going to turn up. That Dragon will be called "Thou Shalt". On each scale of the Dragon's armour, there will be an admonition etched into it: - PICK A JOB - PICK A COURSE - PICK A CAREER - CATCH UP WITH THE OTHER STUDENTS - SETTLE DOWN - BUY A HOUSE - FALL IN LINE - FORGET YOUR PASSION - and so on. And Thou Shalt is going to demand that you bow down and obey all these commands, and that you get your arse back into the paddock with the sheep.
What the hell is this all about? Well, the Dragon represents an authority figure or figures. That could be your parents, tutors or whoever. It could even be the negative part of yourself, that little nagging voice of "I should have picked a job by now". Nietzsche says we have a choice here. You can either bow down, and obey the Dragon. That's game over. Or, you can kill the Dragon (figuratively, don't actually kill anyone haha). If the Camel decides it is brave enough to take on the Dragon, it transforms itself into a Lion. And the Lion has two weapons - 1) 'NO!" and 2) "I WILL!". The first one, the NO, is to reject the claims that these arbitrary authorities make on you. "You need to decide" Answer? NO! "Your friends have graduated, you need to hurry up and do the same". Answer? NO! "You have to do what we want you to do". Answer? NO!. The Second one, the "I WILL" is just that - you express YOUR own will. You make the decisions, no one else. You don't care about their opinion, because it isn't important. You make your own choices, and carve out your own destiny.
If you do this, you win. You kill the Dragon and now you rule the Wilderness. What now? Well, now the Lion can finally make the final transformation - into the Child. Why a child? The Child represents our curiosity, our innate wisdom, our freedom and our ability to play, learn, enjoy, explore, grow, mature and make our decisions. At this point, you can change your mind and it won't matter. You're the ruler of wilderness, so no one can challenge you. And you have the wisdom of the child, so you don't judge yourself.
I know that's all a little abstract, but it worked for me. I hope that helps.
(edited 2 years ago)
Thanks again for the insight, I really do learn a lot from reading what you write.
I agree with the idea that I don't just want to do something for the sake of doing it, I'm generally pretty competitive and if I'm doing something I want to be the best at it and give it my all and so, I don't just want to pick any random subject and graduate for the sake of doing it, I really do want to leave an impact and be good but my issue has always been just trying to figure out exactly what it is I want to put my efforts into. I like the metaphor and I guess I'll try to embrace the wilderness as I've been stuck here for a while trying to understand myself and what I want to do.
Do you have any suggestions on what I should to help myself try figure out what it is? Look for part time jobs? Read into different courses? I'm not too sure as I feel like I've tried various things with little success.
Thanks again, hope you're doing well!
I agree with the idea that I don't just want to do something for the sake of doing it, I'm generally pretty competitive and if I'm doing something I want to be the best at it and give it my all and so, I don't just want to pick any random subject and graduate for the sake of doing it, I really do want to leave an impact and be good but my issue has always been just trying to figure out exactly what it is I want to put my efforts into. I like the metaphor and I guess I'll try to embrace the wilderness as I've been stuck here for a while trying to understand myself and what I want to do.
Do you have any suggestions on what I should to help myself try figure out what it is? Look for part time jobs? Read into different courses? I'm not too sure as I feel like I've tried various things with little success.
Thanks again, hope you're doing well!
No problem.
Everyone has a different process. Mine is a little like this:
1) Do something fun. One thing I like to do is play video games, so I sit and play a game that's not too involved whilst I let my mind wonder. I might listen to a podcast on a walk, or this time of year sit by the fire with a whisky and a book or a good Netflix show. The point is to relax yourself. If you're all pent up and thinking "WHAT SHOULD I DO WHAT SHOULD I DO WHAT SHOULD I DO WHAT SHOULD I DO!" you won't really find an answer, or you'll clutch at one in desperation. Basically think of it like you're trying to read a map. If you're frantically trying to quickly find the right road (i.e. worried or panicked), with your face pressed right up against the map (i.e. lack of perspective, you need to take a step back) in the freezing wind and rain (i.e. distracted by the opinions of others and your worries about how others are judging you), then you can't read the map. You need to take a breathe, find some shelter and warmth and take your time to study the map properly, planning out several routes. So in a nutshell, step 1 for me is to just stop looking for a little while at first to let my thoughts settle. That helps things to become clearer. So fire up your computer or whatever it is you like doing and get to some relaxing.
2) Write down my ideas as they occur to me. So I'm playing my video games or reading my book or whatever, and bing, a thought pops into my mind about what I might like to do. Could be a good thought, an okay one or a terrible one. E.g. say I'm playing GTA and a cop show up. I might think hmm, I wonder if being a police officer is a good job. What about a firefighter, a soldier, or a paramedic? Just write it down on your pad and get back to relaxing, or do some googling if an idea excites you (if it does, and in a "That sounds awesome way", not a "finally at least this is something" way, then that's usually a good sign).
3) Do some research. So we've had our ideas come to us, now it's time to flesh them out. So say you wrote down astrophysics because you were listening to something about space and decided it might be cool. Research it. Prospects is a good website for that, since it gives you the normal entry requirements, what the job is like, the salary etc. (warning, DO NOT get seduced by a salary, no amount of money is worth being miserable for, and equally don't be put off by a low salary). This doesn't need to be reams and reams, just some basic profiles. So make a little table or spreadsheet for yourself and get down some details. Don't worry too much at this stage about which uni to go or where to live etc. Side note, if none of the ideas seem good, don't panic! Just repeat steps 1, 2 and 3 over the next few days or weeks until you get some ideas you at least find somewhat appealing (remember, you don't have to do this forever and you can change your mind later if you want to).
4) Shortlist. Now it's time you fleshed out your good ideas even more (and crossed off some more if you want to), so make a shortlist of the stuff that interests you. You can now do some more research on those ideas. So say you decide that being a carpenter sounds cool or a chemist or an engineer or a plumber or whatever, get some more details. How long is the degree or training. Are there any apprenticeships offered? What are the working conditions like? How long does it take to train. Where can you train? etc. If you still like one or more idea at this stage, good.
5) Start doing something. I like to pick my favourite idea now, and run with it. So for me, I've decided that I want to be a toxicologist. That requires a science degree, so I'm planning to start a chemistry degree part time in Sep 2023 and in the meantime I'm looking for lab-related jobs. I'm also looking at short courses to prepare me for the degree and am reading and watching videos about chemistry and toxicology. If you do this and decide you don't like it, don't worry! Try another short course, job or whatever. Just keep looking until you find the thing that you actually want to do. Since I left law, I've looked into all of the following: whisky maker, beer brewer, doctor, nurse, paramedic, cigar sommelier, spa worker, historian, philosopher, writer, journalist, physicist, carpenter, plumber, engineer, electrician, travel agent, barrister, police officer, military officer, farmer, university academic, researcher, charity worker, landlord, stockbroker, radio voice actor, economist, physician associate, airline pilot, trapper (yes, really), national trust worker, linguist, translator, political scientist, legal theorist, coffee aficionado, space writer (it goes on). So you see, I've looked at A LOT of career options.
So that's how I got started, if you want to try it out. Mainly I would say you need to forget how it looks or what other think, and that you have to actually do something before you decide if you like it. Don't jump into a degree without knowing what you want to do because you don't want to end up back in the same place (and also you only get so much funding from Student Finance so just need to bear that in mind).
Everyone has a different process. Mine is a little like this:
1) Do something fun. One thing I like to do is play video games, so I sit and play a game that's not too involved whilst I let my mind wonder. I might listen to a podcast on a walk, or this time of year sit by the fire with a whisky and a book or a good Netflix show. The point is to relax yourself. If you're all pent up and thinking "WHAT SHOULD I DO WHAT SHOULD I DO WHAT SHOULD I DO WHAT SHOULD I DO!" you won't really find an answer, or you'll clutch at one in desperation. Basically think of it like you're trying to read a map. If you're frantically trying to quickly find the right road (i.e. worried or panicked), with your face pressed right up against the map (i.e. lack of perspective, you need to take a step back) in the freezing wind and rain (i.e. distracted by the opinions of others and your worries about how others are judging you), then you can't read the map. You need to take a breathe, find some shelter and warmth and take your time to study the map properly, planning out several routes. So in a nutshell, step 1 for me is to just stop looking for a little while at first to let my thoughts settle. That helps things to become clearer. So fire up your computer or whatever it is you like doing and get to some relaxing.
2) Write down my ideas as they occur to me. So I'm playing my video games or reading my book or whatever, and bing, a thought pops into my mind about what I might like to do. Could be a good thought, an okay one or a terrible one. E.g. say I'm playing GTA and a cop show up. I might think hmm, I wonder if being a police officer is a good job. What about a firefighter, a soldier, or a paramedic? Just write it down on your pad and get back to relaxing, or do some googling if an idea excites you (if it does, and in a "That sounds awesome way", not a "finally at least this is something" way, then that's usually a good sign).
3) Do some research. So we've had our ideas come to us, now it's time to flesh them out. So say you wrote down astrophysics because you were listening to something about space and decided it might be cool. Research it. Prospects is a good website for that, since it gives you the normal entry requirements, what the job is like, the salary etc. (warning, DO NOT get seduced by a salary, no amount of money is worth being miserable for, and equally don't be put off by a low salary). This doesn't need to be reams and reams, just some basic profiles. So make a little table or spreadsheet for yourself and get down some details. Don't worry too much at this stage about which uni to go or where to live etc. Side note, if none of the ideas seem good, don't panic! Just repeat steps 1, 2 and 3 over the next few days or weeks until you get some ideas you at least find somewhat appealing (remember, you don't have to do this forever and you can change your mind later if you want to).
4) Shortlist. Now it's time you fleshed out your good ideas even more (and crossed off some more if you want to), so make a shortlist of the stuff that interests you. You can now do some more research on those ideas. So say you decide that being a carpenter sounds cool or a chemist or an engineer or a plumber or whatever, get some more details. How long is the degree or training. Are there any apprenticeships offered? What are the working conditions like? How long does it take to train. Where can you train? etc. If you still like one or more idea at this stage, good.
5) Start doing something. I like to pick my favourite idea now, and run with it. So for me, I've decided that I want to be a toxicologist. That requires a science degree, so I'm planning to start a chemistry degree part time in Sep 2023 and in the meantime I'm looking for lab-related jobs. I'm also looking at short courses to prepare me for the degree and am reading and watching videos about chemistry and toxicology. If you do this and decide you don't like it, don't worry! Try another short course, job or whatever. Just keep looking until you find the thing that you actually want to do. Since I left law, I've looked into all of the following: whisky maker, beer brewer, doctor, nurse, paramedic, cigar sommelier, spa worker, historian, philosopher, writer, journalist, physicist, carpenter, plumber, engineer, electrician, travel agent, barrister, police officer, military officer, farmer, university academic, researcher, charity worker, landlord, stockbroker, radio voice actor, economist, physician associate, airline pilot, trapper (yes, really), national trust worker, linguist, translator, political scientist, legal theorist, coffee aficionado, space writer (it goes on). So you see, I've looked at A LOT of career options.
So that's how I got started, if you want to try it out. Mainly I would say you need to forget how it looks or what other think, and that you have to actually do something before you decide if you like it. Don't jump into a degree without knowing what you want to do because you don't want to end up back in the same place (and also you only get so much funding from Student Finance so just need to bear that in mind).
(edited 2 years ago)
I guess that sounds about right, I've been trying quizzes and researching into a lot of different things. I was thinking of going into English, Sociology or back to Psychology.
Sounds weird to go back to Psychology considering I was in it in my first year of university but the burn out and laziness back then didn't really allow me to pursue it as much as I'd like to, I was thinking of applying to some of these courses but doesn't the personal statement have to be course specific?
Those are just the options for now, I feel like I wouldn't want to do anything maths related, I was decent at maths but I don't really see myself pursuing a degree or passion that's dependent on maths; it's more of I just have to do it thing rather than something I want to do, so I guess that's some sort of progress on the direction of where I'm headed but still very cloudy.
Again, thanks for the help, good luck in toxicology.
Sounds weird to go back to Psychology considering I was in it in my first year of university but the burn out and laziness back then didn't really allow me to pursue it as much as I'd like to, I was thinking of applying to some of these courses but doesn't the personal statement have to be course specific?
Those are just the options for now, I feel like I wouldn't want to do anything maths related, I was decent at maths but I don't really see myself pursuing a degree or passion that's dependent on maths; it's more of I just have to do it thing rather than something I want to do, so I guess that's some sort of progress on the direction of where I'm headed but still very cloudy.
Again, thanks for the help, good luck in toxicology.
Original post by confusedwanderer
I guess that sounds about right, I've been trying quizzes and researching into a lot of different things. I was thinking of going into English, Sociology or back to Psychology.
Sounds weird to go back to Psychology considering I was in it in my first year of university but the burn out and laziness back then didn't really allow me to pursue it as much as I'd like to, I was thinking of applying to some of these courses but doesn't the personal statement have to be course specific?
Those are just the options for now, I feel like I wouldn't want to do anything maths related, I was decent at maths but I don't really see myself pursuing a degree or passion that's dependent on maths; it's more of I just have to do it thing rather than something I want to do, so I guess that's some sort of progress on the direction of where I'm headed but still very cloudy.
Again, thanks for the help, good luck in toxicology.
Sounds weird to go back to Psychology considering I was in it in my first year of university but the burn out and laziness back then didn't really allow me to pursue it as much as I'd like to, I was thinking of applying to some of these courses but doesn't the personal statement have to be course specific?
Those are just the options for now, I feel like I wouldn't want to do anything maths related, I was decent at maths but I don't really see myself pursuing a degree or passion that's dependent on maths; it's more of I just have to do it thing rather than something I want to do, so I guess that's some sort of progress on the direction of where I'm headed but still very cloudy.
Again, thanks for the help, good luck in toxicology.
Doesn't sound weird, if that's what you think then sounds good. There's also related stuff like counselling and neuroscience. Yes the personal statement is subject specific I think, and if I'm 100% honest if you're thinking about applying to multiple subject then you're probably not ready to go to uni yet, it's better to wait until you really know what you'd like to study.
Hang in there and good luck. Let us know how you get on.
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