The Student Room Group

No Friends at Uni - International Student

Hi,I am an international student and i am in my third year of studies out of 4. In these years, i didn’t make any friends, even though I kept going out with university societies for a while and I only stopped recently. In fact, in these years, I didn’t build any friendship and I’m not in any group. It’s more I have few acquaintances than friends. In fact, rarely we meet each others in those few societies’ events and out of that we are like strangers. I think it’s also because there’s a barrier between me and them as I am a foreigner, so I’m not similar to anyone. As a result, I always spend my evenings and weekends alone in my room watching Netflix and using my laptop. I’m homesick because at least in my home country, I had my family or someone to spend the evening with, even with a cinema night or anything at home. Now, I have no one even to talk about anything or to simply take a coffee with.Moreover, my university doesn’t have many societies and those fews are also not really active or dead. As a result, I can’t try other societies and meet new people, especially international students as me who could be in my same situation.
Original post by laRoyalBlood_
Hi,I am an international student and i am in my third year of studies out of 4. In these years, i didn’t make any friends, even though I kept going out with university societies for a while and I only stopped recently. In fact, in these years, I didn’t build any friendship and I’m not in any group. It’s more I have few acquaintances than friends. In fact, rarely we meet each others in those few societies’ events and out of that we are like strangers. I think it’s also because there’s a barrier between me and them as I am a foreigner, so I’m not similar to anyone. As a result, I always spend my evenings and weekends alone in my room watching Netflix and using my laptop. I’m homesick because at least in my home country, I had my family or someone to spend the evening with, even with a cinema night or anything at home. Now, I have no one even to talk about anything or to simply take a coffee with.Moreover, my university doesn’t have many societies and those fews are also not really active or dead. As a result, I can’t try other societies and meet new people, especially international students as me who could be in my same situation.

I recommend to find friends online, sounds really vague. But my best friends came from people I met online with similar mind sets to me , and it eased the load on uni . It makes ya more socially active and feel happier. And yeah its really hard sometimes to find friends and covid made it even worse. So I recommend to find communities online , if you do have a pc or even mobile. Make new friends that like what ever subject your doing or any interests
Is there a society for international students at your university?
Hes said that the societies are basically dire. And at the year he's at would likely be better to find a permanent society of friends online. Instead of a physical one? Means he can connect with others and still enjoys the things he likes , but if its a physical thing my best advice is finding it outwith uni. Sometimes that's the best way now , somewhat unis and colleges feel like a individual doing their own stuff rather than interacting. Seen alot here in Scotland
Original post by laRoyalBlood_
Hi,I am an international student and i am in my third year of studies out of 4. In these years, i didn’t make any friends, even though I kept going out with university societies for a while and I only stopped recently. In fact, in these years, I didn’t build any friendship and I’m not in any group. It’s more I have few acquaintances than friends. In fact, rarely we meet each others in those few societies’ events and out of that we are like strangers. I think it’s also because there’s a barrier between me and them as I am a foreigner, so I’m not similar to anyone. As a result, I always spend my evenings and weekends alone in my room watching Netflix and using my laptop. I’m homesick because at least in my home country, I had my family or someone to spend the evening with, even with a cinema night or anything at home. Now, I have no one even to talk about anything or to simply take a coffee with.Moreover, my university doesn’t have many societies and those fews are also not really active or dead. As a result, I can’t try other societies and meet new people, especially international students as me who could be in my same situation.

I’m a home student, in the second year and I have absolutely no friends a whatsoever. :smile:
Original post by Linesdrawn
I recommend to find friends online, sounds really vague. But my best friends came from people I met online with similar mind sets to me , and it eased the load on uni . It makes ya more socially active and feel happier. And yeah its really hard sometimes to find friends and covid made it even worse. So I recommend to find communities online , if you do have a pc or even mobile. Make new friends that like what ever subject your doing or any interests

You’re right, i think I should start from online communities maybe with my interests because usually there are people from any part of the world
Original post by rosy_posy
Is there a society for international students at your university?

Yes, in my university there is an international student society but it’s not really active. The meetings are held once every two months
Original post by Linesdrawn
Hes said that the societies are basically dire. And at the year he's at would likely be better to find a permanent society of friends online. Instead of a physical one? Means he can connect with others and still enjoys the things he likes , but if its a physical thing my best advice is finding it outwith uni. Sometimes that's the best way now , somewhat unis and colleges feel like a individual doing their own stuff rather than interacting. Seen alot here in Scotland

True but out of uni would be more challenging, especially because as a foreign student, i don’t know where to start meeting people outside university and especially alone. Probably online it’s possible
Reply 8
Honestly, keeping contact with people is a tough job but I am incredibly lucky to have met good friends. I don't think that being a 'foreigner' is a real issue to be honest, especially since the UK is quite diverse.
Original post by laRoyalBlood_
Hi,I am an international student and i am in my third year of studies out of 4. In these years, i didn’t make any friends, even though I kept going out with university societies for a while and I only stopped recently. In fact, in these years, I didn’t build any friendship and I’m not in any group. It’s more I have few acquaintances than friends. In fact, rarely we meet each others in those few societies’ events and out of that we are like strangers. I think it’s also because there’s a barrier between me and them as I am a foreigner, so I’m not similar to anyone. As a result, I always spend my evenings and weekends alone in my room watching Netflix and using my laptop. I’m homesick because at least in my home country, I had my family or someone to spend the evening with, even with a cinema night or anything at home. Now, I have no one even to talk about anything or to simply take a coffee with.Moreover, my university doesn’t have many societies and those fews are also not really active or dead. As a result, I can’t try other societies and meet new people, especially international students as me who could be in my same situation.

Hi there,
I am very sorry to hear you have had difficulty with making friends at university, I know the pandemic also made it a lot more difficult to stay in touch with classmates for a lot of students so I understand the feeling of isolation that you have. :frown:
One thing you could try is to message any of the people you have made acquaintances with and just ask them if they would like to do something like get a coffee or watch a movie. Most people would not say no to the chance of improving a friendship and having fun, so you may find they agree and this gives you an opportunity to make a stronger bond. I know a lot of other students who have said they also feel lonely, so there is a chance they may be feeling the same and looking for a friend too. This year I felt like I finally found my group of friends at uni, but I only did this through making myself go and sit with and talk to new people who I didn't know well in my class. It can seem intimidating to do this at first but I found they were really friendly and I am very glad that I did!
If you don't feel able to do this, you could also look and see if there are any social media groups that have been created for your university, such as groups for international students. This could be a good way to get in contact with people who you share interests with, and may be an alternative to meeting people in societies, as you have said they are quite inactive at your university.
If you do feel lonely in the evenings can you video call your family at home? I know sometimes when you feel homesick family can be a real comfort, even if not in person, so you might feel a little better just being able to speak to somebody from home.
Do you live alone currently or do you have flatmates that you could try to spend some time with?

Anna (Fashion Design student)
Original post by laRoyalBlood_
Hi,I am an international student and i am in my third year of studies out of 4. In these years, i didn’t make any friends, even though I kept going out with university societies for a while and I only stopped recently. In fact, in these years, I didn’t build any friendship and I’m not in any group. It’s more I have few acquaintances than friends. In fact, rarely we meet each others in those few societies’ events and out of that we are like strangers. I think it’s also because there’s a barrier between me and them as I am a foreigner, so I’m not similar to anyone. As a result, I always spend my evenings and weekends alone in my room watching Netflix and using my laptop. I’m homesick because at least in my home country, I had my family or someone to spend the evening with, even with a cinema night or anything at home. Now, I have no one even to talk about anything or to simply take a coffee with.Moreover, my university doesn’t have many societies and those fews are also not really active or dead. As a result, I can’t try other societies and meet new people, especially international students as me who could be in my same situation.

I know it's been an year but I am exactly going through this right now and it's been only an year but feels like forever. How did u get passed that feeling?
Original post by Anonymouforver
I know it's been an year but I am exactly going through this right now and it's been only an year but feels like forever. How did u get passed that feeling?

Unfortunately, I ended up making no friends at uni. Now I’m a graduate and working, however I don’t have any friends from when I was still attending university. After reflecting for long on the reasons I
why I wasn’t able to make any friends, I realised that it was also because I was attending university during the COVID-19 pandemic. Moreover, in my university, all the societies were dead, especially those designed for international students. Therefore, I wasn’t even able to meet international students who were going through the same. I also been following many advices and tips on how to make friends in university but nothing was working.

Now I’m out from any university education system and in this phase of my life now it’s more difficult to meet new people and make friends - as an adult, year by year it becomes so hard, people are always busy and have their lives. I think that university, in adulthood, is a good way to make friends as people have the chance to meet each other through classes and societies. However, in my case, I wasn’t lucky enough.
Hello,

I am really sorry that it’s been quite difficult. I know how you feel because I am also an international student and I sometimes feel quite homesick.

A few out of the box ideas:

Try checking out if there’s a community page for your country of origin on Facebook you might find there are people your age there.

There are a few apps that can help you meet people nearby like Peanut

I found that the library and the gym are two great places to meet people? Maybe try there?

If your university has a Facebook or a forum page, maybe drop a message there and see if any other international students might be interested in hanging out ?


Best of luck,
Haya - MBBS V
Original post by laRoyalBlood_
Hi,I am an international student and i am in my third year of studies out of 4. In these years, i didn’t make any friends, even though I kept going out with university societies for a while and I only stopped recently. In fact, in these years, I didn’t build any friendship and I’m not in any group. It’s more I have few acquaintances than friends. In fact, rarely we meet each others in those few societies’ events and out of that we are like strangers. I think it’s also because there’s a barrier between me and them as I am a foreigner, so I’m not similar to anyone. As a result, I always spend my evenings and weekends alone in my room watching Netflix and using my laptop. I’m homesick because at least in my home country, I had my family or someone to spend the evening with, even with a cinema night or anything at home. Now, I have no one even to talk about anything or to simply take a coffee with.Moreover, my university doesn’t have many societies and those fews are also not really active or dead. As a result, I can’t try other societies and meet new people, especially international students as me who could be in my same situation.

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you are struggling at university. You could try asking those who you have made acquaintances with if they would like to meet for a drink, coffee or a meal and try and get to know them better? If not, try continuing to go out with the societies.

I hope this helps,

Ellen
Y4 Medical Student
Uni of Sunderland

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