AQA GCSE English Language Paper 2 8700/2 - 10 Jun 2022 [Exam Chat]

i suck at article writing, anyone got any tips????

Mr everything English on YouTube. He made an amazing video on it.

can someone mark this for me please and tell me where to improve

Salvage your sleep
Sleeping is vital for young people

Student Consensus has long seen sleeping as unnecessary and frivolous, something health professionals meaninglessly ramble on about. This seems somewhat unfair on both the hardworking medical sector and our own well-being. Far from meaningless, sleep offers a solution: it rejuvenates our bodies from the merciless pressure teachers exert upon us. Sleep has the power to energise and prepare us for our upcoming exams - so why are we desperately trying to stay awake?

During this vital exam period, it has become increasingly essential that we sleep enough. Sleeping for 6 hours a day rather than the recommended 10, can reduce exam performance by 20%. Another statistic also shows that 50% of 13-16 year olds sleep for under 5 hours a day - that means half of our student population are willingly sacrificing their possibility of a 9 filled report card. Why are we committing self sabotage and relegating our grades when we could be could easily be pursuing our best exams yet.

Moreover, our ability to study is heinously hindered by a lack of sleep; it’s wrong to let our precious minutes, hours and days of studying all be washed away by our reduced retention. We all have days where we feel terribly tired but still determinedly still avow to study - and I applaud you for that, but when this routine becomes quotidian - it in turn evolves into a detrimental one.

Show me a jubilant student, and ill show you a student who sleeps well. Many of my schoolmates have been desolated by Satan's contemporary cauldron which is depression, unknowing that this is the consequence of their lack of sleep. As i look around my class, I see pupils dozing off into their textbooks that they toil themselves into, illuminated by the dim, flickering lights. They flinch awake as the teacher hopelessly reminds them that we are at school not at home. And to these pupils i am desperately hoping read this : get some sleep.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a supermodel, but what i didnt know was how much sleep affected growth. Now, i am stuck at 4’11, and any of my previous dreams now remain as a flinting memory, a reminder of my time spent awake, endlessly scrolling on my phone rather than energizing and giving back to my hard working body. At least I had realised the consequences before it lead to my death- which an insufficiency of sleep is able to cause.

This message is vital for all of us studying, typing, reading and scrolling on our phones all night : lets all make sure that tonight, and in the nights to come we rest our inured bodies.

Firstly, the whole response seems to be great but there are a couple of issues I would change:
1. The statistics are exaggerated, 50%? I'd say it's unrealistic.
2. You've overused the word "sleep" so maybe try other alternative synonyms like nap, doze, rest, slumber, trance, dormancy, hibernate, drowsy etc.
3. "but still determinedly still avow to study" this sentence is grammatically incorrect.
4. " and I applaud you for that," isn't incorrect, but it seems out of place to me. It gives me an awkward vibe when reading so maybe you could edit that to make it more fitting and smooth.
5. "And to these pupils i am desperately hoping read this : get some sleep." Doesn't make sense imo
6. Lastly, the entire response seems to be a little off. It alternates from extremely formal to casual to formal to casual which causes it to seem 'off' So maybe stick to one way of writing it?

Overall, it's definitely impressive and I'm sure it would receive a decent mark. Well done.

Hey peeps, when writing my article i have been advised to put myself in the shoes of someone else, although I am a male would it be okay if i were to act if i was a female as it would benefit my answer and would the examiner judge that?

Hey so just to check, Q2 it's inferences right? But no methods? And then is question 4 the same but with methods included? (With comparison included ofc)