Gap Year Lonely Advice Help!
I’m currently on my gap year. I ended up re applying to uni because I changed my mined about course last minute. I am still waiting around for 4 offers, hoping if I do get a place at these unis then I would want to attend the offer holder open days. However these dates are all spread out so I can’t go travelling like I would want to.
I feel like I am failing because I’m not travelling on my gap year, but am just working in Tesco. I am going to do Camp America in May but feel like I need to do something before this.
I have looked at going on a group trip as I have no one to travel with but I would only be able to go for 2 weeks, depending on these uni offer days. So I wonder if it would be worth it??
Do I go on a trip for 2 weeks? But then I would have to quit my job and wouldn’t have anything to do up until May (other than some odd dates for unis etc).
So I basically don’t know what to do abs just keep wishing I was at uni this year so I didn’t feel so lonely and like I failed because I am not living the aesthetic of a “gap year”.
Any advice would be appreciated.
I feel like I am failing because I’m not travelling on my gap year, but am just working in Tesco. I am going to do Camp America in May but feel like I need to do something before this.
I have looked at going on a group trip as I have no one to travel with but I would only be able to go for 2 weeks, depending on these uni offer days. So I wonder if it would be worth it??
Do I go on a trip for 2 weeks? But then I would have to quit my job and wouldn’t have anything to do up until May (other than some odd dates for unis etc).
So I basically don’t know what to do abs just keep wishing I was at uni this year so I didn’t feel so lonely and like I failed because I am not living the aesthetic of a “gap year”.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Hi, I am also on a gap year so I understand, to a good extent, how you feel.
I think the main problem here is how you view a gap year should be. For instance, I went on my gap year not exactly by choice, and I felt so "behind" and lonely the whole time. To be honest (and maybe this is because of a cultural difference since I'm not from the UK), I didn't feel the need to travel in my gap year. There's never been a time when the word gap year = travelling for me. I had the fear that being in a gap year, I would be disadvantaged in my applications to uni later on so I made it a point to "add" to my skills and learning. I spent 90% of my gap year alone, working my internship and volunteering, but I was quite okay with that because I was working towards my own goal and paid no mind to what others thought of my journey (besides, my other classmates were more than busy with their own uni work to care about what I was doing). Of course, this is different for everyone.
Don't worry about not travelling during your gap year. You're not failing just because you're not meeting the aesthetics of a gap year. It really is such a privilege to travel that way and don't feel pressured to travel just for those 2 weeks just to make your gap year "aesthetic". I promise you it's not that big a deal once you actually get to uni. Everyone has their own journey and you don't need to follow a path others take just for the sake of taking it or because you're worried about how you're perceived. Just as you said, if you take a trip for 2 weeks, you wouldn't have anything else to do until May. Unless you can figure out how to fill that time (perhaps another job/internship/volunteering/etc), I think you should give it a real hard think again. Just do what makes sense to you with what you have, according to your own terms. As long as you're genuinely happy by the end of it, then that choice was worth it.
I think the main problem here is how you view a gap year should be. For instance, I went on my gap year not exactly by choice, and I felt so "behind" and lonely the whole time. To be honest (and maybe this is because of a cultural difference since I'm not from the UK), I didn't feel the need to travel in my gap year. There's never been a time when the word gap year = travelling for me. I had the fear that being in a gap year, I would be disadvantaged in my applications to uni later on so I made it a point to "add" to my skills and learning. I spent 90% of my gap year alone, working my internship and volunteering, but I was quite okay with that because I was working towards my own goal and paid no mind to what others thought of my journey (besides, my other classmates were more than busy with their own uni work to care about what I was doing). Of course, this is different for everyone.
Don't worry about not travelling during your gap year. You're not failing just because you're not meeting the aesthetics of a gap year. It really is such a privilege to travel that way and don't feel pressured to travel just for those 2 weeks just to make your gap year "aesthetic". I promise you it's not that big a deal once you actually get to uni. Everyone has their own journey and you don't need to follow a path others take just for the sake of taking it or because you're worried about how you're perceived. Just as you said, if you take a trip for 2 weeks, you wouldn't have anything else to do until May. Unless you can figure out how to fill that time (perhaps another job/internship/volunteering/etc), I think you should give it a real hard think again. Just do what makes sense to you with what you have, according to your own terms. As long as you're genuinely happy by the end of it, then that choice was worth it.
Thank you for the advice, I’m glad to know I’m not alone!
Original post by dyinglawstudent
Hi, I am also on a gap year so I understand, to a good extent, how you feel.
I think the main problem here is how you view a gap year should be. For instance, I went on my gap year not exactly by choice, and I felt so "behind" and lonely the whole time. To be honest (and maybe this is because of a cultural difference since I'm not from the UK), I didn't feel the need to travel in my gap year. There's never been a time when the word gap year = travelling for me. I had the fear that being in a gap year, I would be disadvantaged in my applications to uni later on so I made it a point to "add" to my skills and learning. I spent 90% of my gap year alone, working my internship and volunteering, but I was quite okay with that because I was working towards my own goal and paid no mind to what others thought of my journey (besides, my other classmates were more than busy with their own uni work to care about what I was doing). Of course, this is different for everyone.
Don't worry about not travelling during your gap year. You're not failing just because you're not meeting the aesthetics of a gap year. It really is such a privilege to travel that way and don't feel pressured to travel just for those 2 weeks just to make your gap year "aesthetic". I promise you it's not that big a deal once you actually get to uni. Everyone has their own journey and you don't need to follow a path others take just for the sake of taking it or because you're worried about how you're perceived. Just as you said, if you take a trip for 2 weeks, you wouldn't have anything else to do until May. Unless you can figure out how to fill that time (perhaps another job/internship/volunteering/etc), I think you should give it a real hard think again. Just do what makes sense to you with what you have, according to your own terms. As long as you're genuinely happy by the end of it, then that choice was worth it.
I think the main problem here is how you view a gap year should be. For instance, I went on my gap year not exactly by choice, and I felt so "behind" and lonely the whole time. To be honest (and maybe this is because of a cultural difference since I'm not from the UK), I didn't feel the need to travel in my gap year. There's never been a time when the word gap year = travelling for me. I had the fear that being in a gap year, I would be disadvantaged in my applications to uni later on so I made it a point to "add" to my skills and learning. I spent 90% of my gap year alone, working my internship and volunteering, but I was quite okay with that because I was working towards my own goal and paid no mind to what others thought of my journey (besides, my other classmates were more than busy with their own uni work to care about what I was doing). Of course, this is different for everyone.
Don't worry about not travelling during your gap year. You're not failing just because you're not meeting the aesthetics of a gap year. It really is such a privilege to travel that way and don't feel pressured to travel just for those 2 weeks just to make your gap year "aesthetic". I promise you it's not that big a deal once you actually get to uni. Everyone has their own journey and you don't need to follow a path others take just for the sake of taking it or because you're worried about how you're perceived. Just as you said, if you take a trip for 2 weeks, you wouldn't have anything else to do until May. Unless you can figure out how to fill that time (perhaps another job/internship/volunteering/etc), I think you should give it a real hard think again. Just do what makes sense to you with what you have, according to your own terms. As long as you're genuinely happy by the end of it, then that choice was worth it.
Original post by s__2000
Thank you for the advice, I’m glad to know I’m not alone!
No worries, all the best!
Original post by s__2000
I’m currently on my gap year. I ended up re applying to uni because I changed my mined about course last minute. I am still waiting around for 4 offers, hoping if I do get a place at these unis then I would want to attend the offer holder open days. However these dates are all spread out so I can’t go travelling like I would want to.
I feel like I am failing because I’m not travelling on my gap year, but am just working in Tesco. I am going to do Camp America in May but feel like I need to do something before this.
I have looked at going on a group trip as I have no one to travel with but I would only be able to go for 2 weeks, depending on these uni offer days. So I wonder if it would be worth it??
Do I go on a trip for 2 weeks? But then I would have to quit my job and wouldn’t have anything to do up until May (other than some odd dates for unis etc).
So I basically don’t know what to do abs just keep wishing I was at uni this year so I didn’t feel so lonely and like I failed because I am not living the aesthetic of a “gap year”.
Any advice would be appreciated.
I feel like I am failing because I’m not travelling on my gap year, but am just working in Tesco. I am going to do Camp America in May but feel like I need to do something before this.
I have looked at going on a group trip as I have no one to travel with but I would only be able to go for 2 weeks, depending on these uni offer days. So I wonder if it would be worth it??
Do I go on a trip for 2 weeks? But then I would have to quit my job and wouldn’t have anything to do up until May (other than some odd dates for unis etc).
So I basically don’t know what to do abs just keep wishing I was at uni this year so I didn’t feel so lonely and like I failed because I am not living the aesthetic of a “gap year”.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Hi, I was in a similar position to you before I came to university. I intended to take a gap year so I could travel but covid hit and I was unable to do this. Instead I worked at Lidl and I had a great time.
The expectations of travelling and getting you're life together during a gap year can be unrealistic and very daunting, so I feel for you. Though, you are in a great position as you have Camp America lined up and i'm sure you will have an amazing time. Try not to worry too much about what other people are doing or even what other people are thinking of you! Everyone is on different paths in life and just because someone else is doing something, it doesn't mean that will be right for you too.
I felt the struggles during my gap year too as although I physically couldn't travel due to covid, I felt like I should have been elsewhere and that I was wasting time too. Ultimately working in a supermarket does develop core skills which will help you in life and definitely skills which you can add to your CV. This is also time where you can focus on yourself and having free time can be a good thing as when you are at uni, workloads can build up, so make use of the free time you have now. Also working at the moment is going to help you save money for university, which is something I was so grateful for once I got to uni.
Regarding the 2 week holiday, do it if you think you will enjoy it! But if you need to quit your job for it, this is something you will have to weigh up and determine which means more to you. Although the 2 week holiday sounds great, you might appreciate having a job so you can fill your time and earn some money. But this is a choice you will have to weigh up and no one can make this decision for you. If you do decide to go on the holiday, you could always try and get a different job after, so it isn't the end of the world whichever option you chose.
My gap year ended up flying by- so if you do decide to keep working then this is fine! Don't give in to external pressures and expectations to travel the world if it isn't feasible as you'll be at uni in no time.
I hope this helps - good luck.
Scarlet - Sheffield Hallam Student Ambassador
Hi! Camp America sounds brill 
so does travelling, I would say maybe its worth sticking it out at the moment if you're considering quitting but hesitant about what you'd do until then! I hate the feeling of just waiting around, so I totally get that. If it helps, I don't think you've 'failed' a gap year at all, you've reapplied to uni, earnt some money from a job, signed up to Camp America for an adventure at the end of it all!
so does travelling, I would say maybe its worth sticking it out at the moment if you're considering quitting but hesitant about what you'd do until then! I hate the feeling of just waiting around, so I totally get that. If it helps, I don't think you've 'failed' a gap year at all, you've reapplied to uni, earnt some money from a job, signed up to Camp America for an adventure at the end of it all!Quick Reply
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