uni life - STDs

Say ur doing the deed w some guy at uni how do i politely ask a guy if he hasn't got any STDs or something without offending him. Cuz i've heard apparently some guys just don't even tell u that they have it . So i wanna know what to do if im ever put in a situation like this.

Reply 1

%Mel84

4

How would that offend him? It's for yours and his safety, peace of mind and above all to enjoy the deed without overthinking anything. It's both of your responsibility too to carry and use protection!!!

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by %Mel84

How would that offend him? It's for yours and his safety, peace of mind and above all to enjoy the deed without overthinking anything. It's both of your responsibility too to carry and use protection!!!

Yea but what if he choses to laugh it off and not give an answer or something. Ofc protection but none of them have a 100% chance right

Reply 3

nopey123

16

Lol don't ask it like that. A worrying amount of STIs don't have any symptoms and just because it displays symptoms in one person doesn't mean it will in another.

Just ask when he was last tested, (you should be testing now your sexually active too)

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by nopey123

Lol don't ask it like that. A worrying amount of STIs don't have any symptoms and just because it displays symptoms in one person doesn't mean it will in another.

Just ask when he was last tested, (you should be testing now your sexually active too)

dw im not sexually active im going uni this year I just remembered having this conversation w my friend and we were both like idk how to ask a guy that in a non awkward way so I'm just preparing in case there's a cute guy i like at uni lol. But what about the ones that u can't get rid of like i don;t wanna be stuck w one of those

Reply 5

nopey123

16

Original post by Anonymous

dw im not sexually active im going uni this year I just remembered having this conversation w my friend and we were both like idk how to ask a guy that in a non awkward way so I'm just preparing in case there's a cute guy i like at uni lol. But what about the ones that u can't get rid of like i don;t wanna be stuck w one of those

What about sex isn't awkward anyway? It should just be a more then reasonable thing to ask when they were last tested, and if they don't see that as resoanble you need to re-evaluate who your having sex with. It's just a normal thing to ask.

With regards to life long stis, that's why protection is always necessary. But its about risk. Protection isn't guaranteed to protect you from stis and there always is a small chance you'll get something.

You should absolutely minimise risk where ever you can but there comes a point where the only way to stop 100% of STIs it to not have sex, which at uni, just doesn't happen.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 6

jay2013

17

Just ask him. If he doesn't give you a straight answer then avoid him.

"You're clean, right?" is the one I've been asked most often. Wasn't offended.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 8

StriderHort

21

The sort of person who wouldn't be upfront about their sexual health is also the sort of person who would lie if you asked.

Reply 9

DarylO

18

I would take the clinical approach because my health is more important than feelings. Don't care about being awkward. Ask if they're clean. Also, exchange recent test results because many people lie. I've literally heard someone say 'if I wrap up and pull out, she won't catch what I have'. And he was lying to her that he was clean. So, see the test results. You can't be too safe.

If he doesn't like that, there are plenty fish in the sea. Everytime you feel like keeping quiet because you don't want to be awkward, just look up pictures of people with STIs. That'll have you rushing to ask. It's not a pretty sight.

Reply 10

Zarek

21

It largely pointless for casual sex as you’ve no way of knowing if the person is being honest or even appreciates the risks they’ve taken. So while you can ask (it shouldn’t be a surprising question) and weigh up what you’re told, barrier contraception is still the best for safety. Within a relationship there a slightly better chance to evaluate and to agree to testing