like what if I’m genuinely not pretty

I feel comfortable in my own body and though I have some insecurities which I do want to alter when I’m older, I actually like how I look and I wouldn’t consider myself to be ugly. Im not sure if it’s because I’m a person of colour living in a white society and at a white school, but I do question myself: what if I’m just delusional and I’m actually not pretty at all. I’ve been so insecure of myself my whole life. Suddenly, I start to like my appearance as I’m turning 18 and my featured have matured. I’ve had a few people have a crush on me, but what if they’re just lying? Idk this is a stupid post really.
Icl I’m not that popular at school because I get on with my work and I want to do well so I don’t hang out with the popular kids as they’re bad influences.
I feel like at school, if you’re pretty, you get boys attention the first day you’re there. Many guys have asked me why I’m so quiet and don’t talk to guys and it’s purely because I want to study during my frees.
other guys have thought I was lesbian before ?? Like what does that even mean?!

Reply 1

Eva^

It seems that most girls at your school, and I’m assuming in your age range, are boy crazy. So, they expect you to be just as interested in boys which is not the case, and that’s okay! Don’t follow ridiculous social norms. It’s amazing you’re focusing on your studies and working hard. You don’t need to worry or even think about male validation, if you are comfortable in your own skin and feel beautiful then that’s all that matters. You are beautiful, you are strong, and the way other people perceive you is just background noise.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 2

Muttly

Have you ever read about the ugly duckling who turned into a graceful swan? If ever there is a positive to your experiences look at the best models in the world, and then look at how they were when they were seven years old or any other age when they had crazy hair, no worries and no dress sense. You know what you see, so believe in yourself. It doesn't matter if you are popular or unpopular. Some of the best leaders just have to have conviction and belief in themselves because of what they know.

The very issues you highlight can also give you so many benefits. If you stand out in the crowd for whatever reason and you are good at what you do then your name and your face will become familiar to those in positions of influence. There has never been a better time to forge ahead and use your education, your intelligence and common sense to be noticed. Continue as you are doing. Your attitude to life and work and where you want to be will carry you far. Don't worry about standing out and holding your own 'court' - Many will challenge this because they would want to undermine your confidence. Don't let them. Learn to identify and ignore them. Have the courage to be focussed and know your own mind. Work as hard as you can and aim as high as you can. Use your time wisely. If you decide to go to Uni you will meet a huge cohort of very intelligent people from all walks of life and from all over the world with whom you can share your life and share experiences. Your small school has guys with limited life experiences. Hold on, stay true to your beliefs and keep going. Work as hard as you possibly can and doors will open for you.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 3

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

Just roll with it.
If you're not pretty, but you think you are, then you're doing better than most people.

Reply 4

londonmyst

Original post by Muttly

Have you ever read about the ugly duckling who turned into a graceful swan? If ever there is a positive to your experiences look at the best models in the world, and then look at how they were when they were seven years old or any other age when they had crazy hair, no worries and no dress sense. You know what you see, so believe in yourself. It doesn't matter if you are popular or unpopular. Some of the best leaders just have to have conviction and belief in themselves because of what they know.

The very issues you highlight can also give you so many benefits. If you stand out in the crowd for whatever reason and you are good at what you then your name and your face will become familiar to those in positions of influence. There has never been a better time to forge ahead and use your education, your intelligence and common sense to be noticed. Continue as you are doing. Your attitude to life and work and where you want to be will carry you far. Don't worry about standing out and holding your own 'court' - Many will challenge this because they would want to undermine your confidence. Don't let them. Learn to identify and ignore them. Have the courage to be focussed and know your own mind. Work as hard as you can and aim as high as you can. Use your time wisely. If you decide to go to Uni you will meet a huge cohort of very intelligent people from all walks of life and from all over the world with whom you can share your life and share experiences. Your small school has guys with limited life experiences. Hold on, stay true to your beliefs and keep going. Work as hard as you possibly can and doors will open for you.

PRSOM

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

It's understandable to have doubts about your appearance, especially when you're living in a society where certain beauty standards are promoted more than others. However, it's important to remember that beauty is subjective and there's no one-size-fits-all definition of what it means to be attractive.

It's natural to have moments of self-doubt even when you're feeling good about yourself and if you're genuinely happy with how you look and people have expressed interest in you, it's likely that you're not delusional about your appearance.

As for the comments about your personality, it's important to remember that people's perceptions of others are often based on limited information and their own biases. If you want to focus on your studies during your free time, that's completely understandable and doesn't reflect anything about your sexual orientation.

And being a person of colour doesn't necessarily put you at a disadvantage when it comes to attracting the opposite gender. Let's put this into perspective: some of the prettiest women in the world are people of colour, for example, Zendaya, Beyoncé, Deepika Padukone, Aishwarya Rai, Priyanka Chopra, and Jourdan Dunn. They are all powerful, independent, and strong women who are not white and have different body types. They are considered some of the most attractive women in the West and in the whole wide world. Whilst, this may sound rude, which is not my intention, you are at an advantage.

So when you think of putting yourself down and believe that you are not attractive enough, remember that you are pretty and cute, and some might even say more. You could be the most amazing and fabulous person someone could meet. Don't let some silly boys in your school judge how attractive you are. Your value is in your hands, and it's up to you how much value you place on yourself.

If you still feel like you're not pretty enough after reading this, think about what an attractive person would do. What actions and practices can you implement in your daily life to get to the point where YOU feel satisfied with your worth?

And sis, all these boys will come and go. They are still very much immature. Some of them are still getting fed by their mum, some don't even wash their faces, and some are uncomfortable with who they are and are still figuring things out. Focus on yourself, give yourself time to appreciate yourself, get to know yourself, and focus on your studies and career. Eventually, the person who is meant for you will come at the right time.

At the end of the day, is what is important to focus on what makes you happy and confident, rather than worrying too much about how others perceive you. You are the only person who gets to decide how you feel about yourself, and that's a powerful thing.

Hope this helps