Can anyone mark my english literature essay?

I am a year 10 GCSE student. This is an english literature essay I wrote yesterday. It would be helpful if anyone could give a mark on this and tell me where I need to improve.

'Lady Macbeth is a female character who changes during the play'

Explore how far you agree with this view.
[30 marks]
AO4 [4 marks]

In this extract, and throughout the text as a whole, Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth as a character who changes. Lady Macbeth's change in character corresponds to her diminishing relevancy throughout the play, thus Shakespeare may have created this change to show that the standards of Jacobean society stops people from standing out, and following them causes blending in with others.

Lady Macbeth is presented as a foil to Macbeth at an earlier point of the text, taking the controlling role in their relationship. This is seen as she tells him to 'screw your courage to the sticking-place', which shows that she is telling him what to do. Lady Macbeth goes against Jacobean society, as she is expected to submit to her husband. In the text, she says 'come you spirits, unsex me here'. This shows that she is trying to free herself from the bounds of her sexuality and become able to lead in society. Her usage of imperative verbs like 'come' shows that she expects others to submit to her, and manipulates people like Macbeth to do what she wants, which is seen in her persuading him to kill Duncan. On one level, Shakespeare may have been trying to present Lady Macbeth as a powerful character, and causing them to believe Macbeth was helpless, and Lady Macbeth fully caused him to go through with the murder of Duncan, causing the subsequent events of Macbeth's reign. However, on another level, Shakespeare may have been trying to present Lady Macbeth as someone who was connected to the supernatural, and trying to realise the goals of the witches, who were trying to ruin the life of Macbeth.

In the extract, Lady Macbeth is shown to have had a shift in personality, to a more helpless person. Her saying, 'will these hands ne'er be clean' is an example of irony, as it directly links to her earlier words, 'a little water clears us of this deed', both in relation to the murder of Duncan. She is originally shown to feel little guilt, and she ridicules Macbeth for his own. However, her personality shifts to reveal the guilt she truly was feeling during her sleepwalking. In this extract, Lady Macbeth shows unusual speech patterns, which are different to her speech throughout the earlier parts of the text, to show that she has changed mentally. Macbeth has become a more masculine person, leading and following his own ambitions, whilst Lady Macbeth has become more submissive, and less controlling. In Jacobean society, sleepwalking was seen as a sign of possession, so Shakespeare's intentions may have been to show that Lady Macbeth had supernatural tendencies, and she may have been possessed to change her personality. On another level, Shakespeare may have been trying to show that Lady Macbeth's surface level leadership was just covering her true personality, and she was just trying to hide her femininity. Her personality may have been revealed at this point in the play, and her leadership may have just been a facade.

Nearer to the end of the play, Lady Macbeth is shown to fade into obscurity. It is referred to that she has killed herself, but it is not documented in the text. This shows that she has lost relevancy in the text, and she no longer serves any purpose. When Macbeth hears of her death, he says 'she should have died hereafter', showing that he expected this to happen. It suggests to the reader that Macbeth is overlooking the death of Lady Macbeth, and she no longer has a place in his life. This suggests that her eventual compliance with the roles of Jacobean society has caused her loss of purpose in the text. Her challenging of the norm of society was her position in the story, as she was an important part in beginning Macbeth's reign, but her shift in personality causes her to lose this position, and means that she has no purpose anymore, so she is killed off stage. Shakespeare may have done this to criticise Jacobean society, to show that following the norms of the society causes a lack of appeal, and they should be challenged to give a chance of relevancy to others.

To conclude, Lady Macbeth's shift in personality is evident throughout the play, from a position of power, to a position of helplessness, causing her to blend in with the norms of Jacobean society. I believe Shakespeare's overall purpose was to show the limits of the norms of Jacobean society in Lady Macbeth, and show the problems of holding people to these norms.

Based on the essay you've provided, here is a feedback breakdown for each section:

Introduction:

The introduction provides a clear statement of the topic and introduces the main argument.
It could be improved by providing a brief overview of Lady Macbeth's character and the play's context to set the stage for the analysis.
Content and Analysis:

The essay demonstrates a good understanding of Lady Macbeth's character and her changing nature throughout the play.
The analysis explores different aspects of Lady Macbeth's transformation, including her shift in power dynamics, guilt, sleepwalking, and eventual fading into obscurity.
There is a good use of textual evidence to support the arguments and analysis.
Structure and Coherence:

The essay follows a logical progression, moving from Lady Macbeth's initial power to her diminishing relevance.
The transitions between paragraphs and ideas are generally smooth, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
To further enhance the structure, consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly state the main point.
Language and Style:

The essay demonstrates a good command of language, with clear and concise expression of ideas.
Some sentences could be rephrased or simplified for better clarity.
Watch out for grammar and punctuation errors, particularly in sentence construction.
Evaluation and AO4:

The essay briefly mentions Shakespeare's intentions in presenting Lady Macbeth's character but doesn't delve deeply into the author's purpose.
To strengthen the evaluation, provide a more comprehensive analysis of the play's socio-cultural context and the effect of Lady Macbeth's character on the audience.
For AO4 (literary context), consider discussing the play's reception during the Jacobean era and the societal expectations placed on women at the time.
Overall, this essay demonstrates a solid understanding of Lady Macbeth's character transformation and provides relevant analysis. To further improve, consider expanding on the evaluation of Shakespeare's intentions and strengthening the essay's overall structure and language. Additionally, ensure that your essay addresses the specific question and uses a clear and consistent argument throughout.