Would anyone mind reading my ucas personal statement?

Yeah especially before you've sent it off. Just show people if you want an opinion and only show people that either went applying for your course or have already applied

Thousands of students each year apply to Ivy League institutions, however, only a handful of them get accepted. Here are some basic guidelines and tips for writing UCAS Personal Statement, which answer the question of how to write a UCAS personal statement. You can understand and stick to it in order to get into the University of your Dreams because getting good grades is just not enough.

Be Enthusiastic:
Show passion for your chosen course and highlight personal skills that make you a valuable candidate.
Highlight Program Points:
Analyze why you chose the course and emphasize both your competencies and the university's advantages.
Meet Future Plans:
Explain why the course aligns with your goals and how it contributes to your future career plans.
Be Creative:
Stand out by presenting unique key points rather than copying generic statements.
Jot Down Everything:
Note what to include, create drafts, and refine your presentation for clarity.
Explain University Why:
Justify why the university should admit you, emphasizing relevant skills for the chosen course.
Showcase Experience:
Include relevant work, study, or extracurricular activities that support your application.
Adhere to Word Count:
Stick to the 4000-character limit (roughly 500 words) to ensure your statement is accepted.
Seek Mentor/Friend Opinion:
Have someone review your statement for errors, compliance, and overall effectiveness.
Proofread:
Before submission, ensure all essential details are included and the statement is engaging.
Be the Early Bird:
Start writing weeks before the deadline to create a polished and well-thought-out statement.
Go Through Guidelines:
Check UCAS requirements, read guidelines, and familiarize yourself with the application process.

I haven’t studied computer science at college but have self taught from courses online/tutorials. Would anyone want to read it and tell me what to change in order to make it more competitive? UCL foundation year are really competitive so help would be appreciated

i dont think you should post it online for legal reasons or something, and someone can copy you. but generally @Yuvdagoat you should be including how your love for computer science began, what you have done to develop your interest, any extra-curriculars you've done, roles you've had in school, and what you might want to do with the degree