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Hi guys, please give me feedback on my GCSE english language answers :) [REPOST]

Hello, I am trying to improve my English language skills for my upcoming mock gcse exams. I do aqa, and these are the answers to some of the questions I wrote for a past paper 2. :smile:

Question 2:

Whilst in source A, the children behave respectfully, and are driven by their academic determination, in source B, the children behave decadently, dangerously and anti-socially. In source B, the writer describes how he saw "two girls of twelve or thirteen.. boxing most viciously". This implies that students at the ragged school cannot behave in any way, shape or form within the parameters of the school rules and how they usually resort to violence. Moreover, "boys cheered most tremendously" as "women swore and shrieked". This emphasises the anti-social behaviour of the boys, as though they find joy, in watching others get hurt, and fight "like furies". However, in source A, the writer describes how "each child we passed said 'Hello', brightly", exemplifying the respectful social etiquette that can be found within the average child that attend the primary school. Furthermore, the children read "with enthusiasm and confidence", implying that the children are inclined towards their studies and academics. Verily, the writer has "never met such lively enquiring minds.. in one so young".

Question 3:

The writer portrays Sister Brendon as extremely enthusiastic; almost intimidating. This is clear when the writer describes how "Sister Brenden looked like a small hungry blackbird out for the early worm". The use of a simile here, is used to exemplify Sister Brendon's absolute determination, when it comes down to her work, as though she is almost always impatient and urgent, when doing so. More specifically, zoomorphic qualities are attributed to her, as she is compared to a "small hungry blackbird out for the early worm". Interestingly, this could emphasise how she doesn't wait for anyone to assist her, rather, it is almost as if her constant 'hungry' wish to serve her purpose at the school is driven by naturally occurring instinct. Therefore, she is portrayed as extremely committed to her role as a headteacher.

Moreover, Sister Brendon is portrayed as extremely productive, but also superficial. This is conveyed when she asks " 'Does that make me the Queen Bee?', with a mischievous glint in her eyes". This metaphor accentuates her peculiar wish for approval, comparing herself to a 'Queen Bee', indicating the she sees herself as the centre and heart of her students' education. Moreover, the adjective 'mischievous' connotes how she is almost like a child, the way she aims to be rewarded and flattered, for her role in the school.

Question 4:
Whilst in source A, the writer conveys their impressed attitude towards the primary school, the writer in source B conveys an attitude of pure detestation and aversion towards the ragged school. In source A, the writer describes how the school is "a calm, bright, welcoming and orderly building". Here, cumulative adjectives are used in order to emphasise the hospitality of the school, where walking into it feels uplifting and comforting. The fact that it is 'bright' and 'welcoming' only contrasts how the writer in source B thinks "No school can be possibly worse than this". Here, the writer deliberately uses monosyllabism in order to emphasise the solemness in his words, and how this negatively reflects on the school, not only being terrible, but the 'worst'. The school is so abhorring, that even early on throughout the school day, "shortly after ten o'clock", he has decided to make such a remarkable statement, indicating that this hasn't been the first time he has faced such misfortune from the school. Moreover, whilst he writer in source A views the inner school as visually appealing, the writer in source B portrays the school as almost comparable to prison, in the way it is orientated and the numerous acts of misconduct. More specifically, the writer in source A describes how "Shelves held attractive books" and "tables were covered in shells". The use of personification on the 'Shelves' exemplifies the harmony found within the school, as though even objects coordinate themselves to perfection. However, contrastingly, the writer in source B describes how there are "benches for the division of the scholars into four classes". The lexical use of the noun 'division' connotes the dissonance found within the school and how even the students, play a part in contorting any possibility of harmony, through their anti-social behaviour, particularly exemplified in the simile, when two girls fight "like furies".

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